Why do you care? @alwaysspeedytastemaker - Tumblr Blog

Karma fricken sucks.

I met this boy; I don’t justify him as a man because a man doesn’t pull shit like this. Doesn’t date a 16 year old over me. I know I may sound like an egotistical freak but it’s the truth; I have so much more to offer him than she does. I mean she’s still a kid; still in highschool. And especially with the past that he has I hoped he think of that. But little boys are dull these days and it’s sad. It really is. This is my punishment, for some reason I’m not allowed to be happy, or maybe it was just with him. I hope everything works out for him I really do. I hope you don’t end up in prison because your literally dating a child, and children can be petty better be careful. But this is my goodbye; publicly at least I know myself better than that to just cut you off. I’m cutting you outta my heart. My heart that’s too big for my own good. My heart that will still worrie if your ok. If your well fed or if your son is ok. Or if your alright mentally. Like you hurt me you really did and I feel as though I may never stop worrying over you. Why me? Why must I feel this way?

I’m taking to this one man now. See how he’s a man and your a boy? Theyres a difference. But I only started talking to him to get over you and I think it’s working and I’m beginning to fall head over heals for him. He calls me beautiful and never leaves me on read for 8+ hours. He actually cares about me. He likes talking to me. He thinks I’m cool and I’m sweet and he likes me for me. Or maybe he doesn’t and he’s lying to me like you did to me. But I can’t live in that anymore. Because it’s not living. I liked you and you literally took a shit on me. Saying you’d treat women better than how you did oh what a lie that was and I believed it. I ate it outta your hand like a hungry starved aniamal. And I was but I am not any longer.

depressedanxietydeath

Wish I could just leave myself like everyone does.

leidgott

Everybody leaves me 💖

inritum

reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

ghostdog07

OH MY FUCKING GOD, IT’S BACK ON MY DASH.

THIS SHIT WORKS OKAY, I AM DEAD SERIOUS.

The last time I saw this on my dash, I didn’t think it would happen, so jokingly I wished I could go to a fun. concert.

AND GUESS WHAT, I WENT TO A FUCKING FUN. CONCERT.

THIS SHIT WORKS, TRY IT.

deathklaue

YOOOOOOO

I SAW THIS ON MY DASH THE OTHER DAY AND THOUGHT “ITS WORTH A TRY” SO I WISHED I COULD GET A 3DS

LITERALLY LIKE 4 DAYS LATER MY DAD SENT ME A PICTURE OF THE 3DS XL HE BOUGHT FOR ME WHILE I WAS AT SCHOOL

IM STILL FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS

doryishness

holy fuck, I didn’t expect this to work, I was like psh, whatever it’s just a quick reblog, but I wished my Dad would actually respond back to me AND HE FUCKING DID A FEW DAYS LATER, I GOT A FUCKING TEXT FROM MY DAD TODAY WHO HASN’T SPOKEN OR RESPONDED TO ME IN MONTHS HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THIS MAGIC IT WORKS.

victoriaringsinyourears

I WANTED TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND AND I DIDN’T THINK I’D GET DAYS OFF BUT THIS WEEKEND I’M HEADING UP THERE??? THIS IS CRAZY SHIT

lenshade

SO LIKE I JOKINGLY WISHED FOR MY OWN LEN KAGAMINE AND THEN LIKE A WEEK LATER I GOT A LEN NENDOROID??? H ELP

themixedbagofwhat

WTF OKAY SO THIS SHOT ACTUALLY WORKS BECAUSE WHEN I WISHED, I HAD WISHED MY CRUSH WOULD LIKE ME BACK AND GUESS WHAT? I HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW. WHAT THE HELLLLL?????

wodkat

ok I’ve said this before but IM DOING IT AGAIN THE FIRST TIME I SAW THIS, MY WISH DID COME TRUE SO I REBLOGED AGAIN AND SAID IT IN THE TAGS BUT THEN I WISHED FOR SMTH ELSE AND IT LITERALLY LITERALLY HAPPENED LIKE A COUPLE DAYS LATER WHAT THE HELL SO NOW IM WRITING THIS HERE FOR YOU BC I DONT BELIEVE IN THIS CRAP BUT STILL IT’S AN AWFULLY BIG COINCIDENCE

acstiel

THE BOY I FELL I LOVE WITH LEFT TO TRAVEL THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD AND HAS BEEN GONE NOW FOR 3 MONTHS. WE HAVENT SPOKEN SINCE BECAUSE I DIDNT WANT TO MAKE HIM FEEL TRAPPED TO ME AND NOT ENJOY HIS TIME SO I WAITED FOR HIM TO CONTACT ME FIRST. I SAW THIS ON A PARTICULARLY LOW DAY WHEN I WAS MISSING HIM SO MUCH I CRIED FROM THE PAIN, GUYS I REALLY LOVE HIM, SO I THOUGHT MEH WHAT THE FUCK, AND WISHED HE WOULD JUST LET ME KNOW HE WAS OKAY.

GUYS.

HE FUCKING CALLED ME 20 MINUTES LATER

20 FUCKNG. MINUTES. LATER.

GOOD THINGS DO HAPPEN. AND ITS IN THIS POST.

juststrokemyglabella

I wish for someone to leave something in my ask.

adweeb-deactivated20160228

OKAY SO I ASKED FOR A HEDGEHOG AND NOW GUESS WHO HAS A PET HEDGEHOG

vermillionkill-deactivated20230

worth a shot huh

deathangelboy-army-stay-deactiv

Let’s try it I wish i could go to a Stray Kids concert

yumekosaotomezui-deactivated202

i wish to meet all my fav kpop groups!

yumekosaotomezui-deactivated202

i wish to talk/rp to alot of my mutuals!!

kpopgirlbtssvt

To be happy 😩

alwaysspeedytastemaker

I wish my life would get better. That the man who hurt me gets what he deserves. And that I can finally feel safe.

Idea of suicide

The idea just seems so good to commit at 6:56 pm on a Tuesday afternoon. With a bottle of generic sleep aid from Walmart and a bottle of jack. Its not like I matter or anything. My ex boyfriend of about an hour broke up with me because of my parents because they’re worried for my safety. So I’ll worrie about myself from now on. I don’t need anyone. Never should have fell for anyone. Fuck love, fuck people. Fuck everything I’m going to sleep

Things just aren’t going my way

If things went my way I don’t think I’d stress out as much as I do.

I wouldn’t have the nightmares and I wouldn’t be so moody all the time.

If things just went my way for once I feel like the world would be a better place.

Maybe I’m asking to much, that just for once something in my life goes 100% right.

But I don’t think that’ll happen anytime soon.

Sometimes it’s just easier to bite my tounge and take the pain. Don’t flinch cause it won’t help it’ll only encourage the one throwing the punches.

I bought myself a car with money I’ve been saving up for a good 6 months and the power steering went out when I was mid turn and I rammed streight into a curb. It happened earlier in the day when I went to get my boyfriend to take him to work coming off of an on ramp to a 4 way intersection. All I could think about was why didn’t it happen then? Why couldn’t I have died then? I would finally have been free. 100% free. No bills. No job. No responsibilities. No guilt. No nothing just peace and quite.

I think I’ve deserved some quiet. But I guess that I’m just not that lucky.

I just feel so heavy all the time. Like im sufficating on life.

Like im just wasting away inside myself.

I want help so bad.

But i dont want someone to tell me what i already know.

I know im fucked up.

I know they're is no fixing the stolen broken that i am.

I just want it to end and i know i shouldnt feel like that but why?

If im not supposed to feel like this then why do i?

If.. If i did get help; a diagnoses people would just view me as weak.

And i am not weak.

I try to just distract myself from my own reality.

But in the end it always catches me.

Laughes at my failed attempts at getting away.

At actually surviving.

Im being murdered by my mind and i cant nor do i have a care to attemt to get away.

anothredhead

“i spent the last 4 years planning my death not my future.”

—

Life's great right now.

I don't think I've ever felt more alive.

I just feel so at piece with who I am right now.

But I know in a few hours that's all going to fade away again and I'm Going to hate myself agian.

It's so funny to me that my life can shift from happy one second and then feel as though it's ending in the next.

It's not fair that I can't just enjoy how I feel without thinking about my own down fall agian.

I always search for the bad in situations. I've honestly become such a burden on myself I don't see why I should live through it.

Why can't you just live in this happy moment with out wanting it to end. Without thinking you deserve it to end so horribly.

Life for me is just a never ending mess of depression, anger; and hate for myself.

The only question I have for myself Is;

How much longer till I can't handle it anymore?

Its not easy to know what to do.

I thought this was over.

I thought this part of me would have died already. Left me alone. Went to torment someone else. Someone different than me. I dont know how im supposed to live with you here on my hip pressuring me to just do nothing to be nothing agian.

NO NO NO.

Not when i fought so hard to get here now. Its not even fair. Go just leave me the hell alone you demon. You make me see nothing. You make me feel noting. And you need to stop. You dont know how hard it was for me to get here. I was good so good for a while but it always leaves right?

But here it is and i dont know what to do. I keep trying to figure out how im going to overcome it this time but i dont see a way out.

The last time you payed a visit i had support i had a sword and a shield to block you away. To fight you to hurt you. I thought id killed you for good this time but.

I dont know what to do this time. I dont think i can win this alone anymore. Your stronger than i remember.

I dont know what the fuck to fucking do.

And i need help

Idk

This is great. Im great. Everythings fucking great. Ill be okay i promise. Ill always have me,myself,and i. Forever and always alone. So. Fucking. Alone

Whats my reason for living if not to live on with someone else?

I mean ive never been one to like to rely on others but ya know sometimes you have to;sometimes you just need someone to help out with the small,the big; the everything. Sometimes its needed to help keep what little sanity you have left. And sometimes you rely on the shit way to fucking much.

I like this guy and ive known him for some time and this girl a mutual friend im trying to help bring into our circle of friends; love her to death. Shes so sweet and strong, caring , smart and beutifully innocent; She struggles with anxiety really bad i think in some cases we level each other out in our illnesses. He likes her but he was convinced she didnt like him which she does. He texts me asking if he should ask her out.

'Start the rain fall of tears now.'

I dont think ive cried over something so fucking petty in a long fucking time. Like idk how to even feel about this right now. I love them both and i think that opposites attract they'd be so cute together but im so upset about it.i mean me and the guy flirt so much its stupid and now im not good enough?

Am i ugly to him?

Am i fat?

To fucking damaged?

To much to handle?

I mean right when i start feeling good about myself

This has to come and start shitting on me.

I just dont know what to do.

Im getting the iches in my hands and arms to just slit my fucking body open and bleed myself out in the bathtub. I dont have a purpose anyways.

So .

Whats.

Fucking.

Stopping.

Me.

Nothing.

Honey,it does get better. You'll grow out of this faze of saddness.

If only you were right mom if only you were right papa. If only things actually turned out the way they were supposed to go for once. I wish that this empty-overwelmingness would just fucking die.just run it over if i could. I thought i was doing good,hell great even. But theres always that stupid rabit hole you trip in that sends you spiraling out of control. Trying to hold on to something for stability. Anything to grab onto to stay alive in this never winning battle of life.