alwaystheC

- writer - based in germany - in love with the blooming of spring, the warmth of summer, the coziness in autumn and winter and good music instagram: lini.richter

[alwaysthec]

I have blood on my forehead that's clearly not mine,

no wonder you accused me of doing the crime.

I was pleading my innocence and you turned around,

"She had the blood on her when she was found."

You told everyone and they believed you;

you're not just stupid, you're the king of the fools.

Look at me now, locked up in a cell;

you've built me a castle feeling like hell.

If there are no witnesses, how can one prove?

If there's nowhere to go, how is one supposed to move?

If no one wants to listen, how loud should one shout?

How can one convince someone, who is made to doubt?

I cried all night, you didn't see where I was hurt,

when I tried to explain it, you didn't listen to my words.

I begged you to stay but you were already in the door,

"It's always the same, I've heard it all before."

When doors slam and glasses break, I know that you are back;

eyes have many pretty colours and mine you painted black.

I didn't tell anyone and they believed you,

I'm not just stupid, I'm the king of the fools.

[alwaysthec]

Lately, each day feels like a memory

as if my experiences were not a real part of me.

Slipping through my fingers like a cigarette in the hand of a drunk,

the embers burn my feet like a dry tree stump.

Burning sensations, tell me I'm alive.

Put my arm up to the shoulder in a beehive.

Run down my throat, tell me I'm alive.

Water the dead tree and watch it thrive.

[alwaysthec]

Sometimes I feel so lonely it hurts;

there is no cure and no bandage strong enough

to fix what's wrong with me.

Sometimes all I feel is pain

and there is nobody around

to take it away from me.

Tears don't sneak down my face, they fall like a downpour

and I have never owned an umbrella.

Sometimes I feel so empty it hurts;

there is no pill and no drug to numb the pain

to give me what they took.

Sometimes all I feel is lost

and there is nobody around

to save me from drowning.

Tears don't sneak down my face, they fall like a downpour

and I have never owned an umbrella.

[alwaysthec]

I grew up watching series in which the main character always had problems,

nevertheless, I never felt special.

[alwaysthec]

[alwaysthec]

[alwaysthec]

I think I'm grieving preventively

She has already sent for me

crying over a relationship that hasn't ended yet

and all that remains is the feeling of regret

I wasn't sad when you left me

I was fine, no fear, no grief

seperated from you a thousand times before

when it was for good, all I got was bored

The trees have lost their leaves

But I know they're coming back

Don't join in when autumn grieves

You've built a house inbetween the shacks

I think I'm grieving preventively

She has already sent for me

mourning a death that hasn't happened yet

and all that remains is the feeling of regret

I wasn't hurting when you left me

I was strong, no tears, no grief

abandoned me a thousand times before

when it was for good, it didn't hurt anymore

The trees have lost their leaves

But I know they're coming back

Don't join in when autumn grieves

You've built a house inbetween the shacks

[alwaysthec]

[alwaysthec]

tender soul

too kind to go;

grateful heart

don't fall apart;

gentle mind

please unwind

reaching out

don't have to doubt;

looking up

not gonna stop;

leaning back

you're still on track

lonely child

see your light;

faithful friend

born to mend;

lovely girl

you're worth the world

[alwaysthec]

[alwaysthec]

And if there is beauty in pain, I understand why people can't see how much I suffer.

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[alwaysthec]

I am demisexual and when people don't believe me when I tell them I don't masturbate, I explain it to them like this:

sex is like being tickled.

Tickling yourself makes no sense because you don't really feel it;

if someone you hardly know or are not close to tickles you, you feel completely uncomfortable.

Being tickled is only pleasant when it is done by someone you trust and like