Marinette could still taste the poison from Adrienās lips. The sun sunk below the Seine, burning like daggers into her cheeks, and all she could hear was a recast loop of the same broken record:Ā
āIām Ā sorry, Marinette. Iām in love with another girl. But⦠I still love our friendshipāāĀ
Words choked and bubbled up at the core of her throat. She felt her spine curl up against the pit of her stomach, and scraped at the core of her palms until she was afraid they might bleed. Somewhere, briefly, she registered dizziness churning its dread at the base of her skull.Ā
āItās okay, Adrien. Itās okay. I know that girl is probably important to you, andā¦āĀ
Her supply chain of vocabulary froze like ice. No matter how Marinetteās mouth echoed the shape of words, she was, very simply, a girl with no chit-chat left on the matter.Ā
What else was there to say?
Before tears could prick her eyes, she left Adrien against the shadow of the Eiffel Tower, then walked numbly back to her balcony as sad stars dug into her silhouette.Ā
Kagami? She wondered, dodging a sidewalk bicyclist. No. That was over.
Chloe?Ā Certainly not.Ā
Traffic swerved around her, and Alyaās name briefly toyed at the edges of her mind when the crosslight turned red. Tikki thumbed around for cookie crumbs in her purse. A light June breeze bit at her lashes.
Desperation, Marinette realized, had stolen her away.Ā
She deserved it.Ā
Not two hours earlier, spots adorned her figure as she recited Adrienās very lines to Chat Noir. The boy under the mask couldnāt mask his heartbreak this time. Her rejection slumped him down like an anchor.
Thatās why she needed some preuve dāamourĀ from Adrien. Watching pain flick across Chatās emerald eyes like that was just⦠too much. Ā Too much. Marinette needed to know she wasnāt the monster who sunk Chat to deep, dark ocean cages. She wasnāt the bad guy here. She wasnāt a monster. Right?Ā
The Dupain-Cheng bakery bell chimed. After mumbled exchanges with her parents and a treacherously exhausting battle with stairs, she let herself collapse onto the iron banister of her balcony.Ā
She stared at the stars, wondering what sheād do now ā wondering who Marinette would be with a future that Adrien could never give her.Ā
__________________________________________
āIām sorry, Chat Noir. Iām in love with another boy.ā
He deserved it. Not two hours earlier, Chat had called herĀ bugaboo one too many times, and let his shoulder graze an inch too close during an akuma battle.Ā
Chat Noir knew what to say when Ladybug rejected him. He was used to it, after all. Used to the sinking anchor that weighed in his chest and tied him to shadows in the ground.Ā So he puffed up his chest, doing his best to clench faux claws around the drooping rose stem, then muttered out an āitās okay, mālady. I understand. I still love our friendship.āĀ
Before tears could pinch at his lashes, Chat let himself pounce back to the empty Agreste mansion. He hardly noticed the bite of the June breeze at his ears. Dead stars scratched at his silhouette.Ā
Later, as he stared at the stars and imagined a future without Ladybug, he wondered who else could possibly know what it was to feel this way ā until he remembered one sad, pigtailed girl, who probably understood more than anyone in Paris.Ā
Ā __________________________________________
Paris sucks, Marinette thought. She flung a glance to the eyesore of a billboard in front of her. Ladybug and Chat Noir: Parisā favorite ācoupleā to project onto. Their lips and gloves were intertwined ā a lost moment in space and time that she kept locked up only in dreams. Marinette studied the pattern until she thought she might throw up.Ā
Then, before she knew it: the black cat himself.Ā
āYāknow,ā Chatās voice echoed across her iron banisters, āParis sucks.āĀ
Marinette jumped. As she turned, fingernails clawing away from her cheeks, she watched the end of her Ā chaton Ā (could she still call him that?) leaping onto her balcony.Ā
She scoffed. āCouldnāt agree more, kitty.ā
āSorry I didnāt address you properly or anything tonight, Iāā
āI think weāre over formalities, Chat,ā said Marinette. āA few nighttime visits to a girlās balcony tend to cancel out French etiquette, donātcha think?āĀ
In another world, her words would be painted with tints of a joke. Now, she couldnāt even bring herself to smile. Chat threw her sad, half-crescent moon eyes before they turned back to stare at the moon itself.Ā
They settled into a comfortable silence, watching the moon rise in its 11PM glory. A few shouts echoed from dimly lit street windows. Car horns beeped and sang. A world thrummed and hummed below them ā a world of a city neither Marinette nor Chat wanted to belong to.Ā
āWhy do they push all this romance junk here?ā Chat whispered, little fractures of an eyeroll breaking his voice. āI mean, itās like you canāt just peacefully exist, by yourself,Ā alone. You canāt just be a normal person. You always have toā¦āĀ
āBelong to someone?ā Marinette finished for him.Ā
Chat sighed something bitter, then stole away from her gaze so that she could only see his cheeks and the curves of an onyx mask.Ā
āWhy canāt we just be happy alone?ā he asked.
āBecause being alone doesnāt sell,Ā Mister Noir.ā Marinette smirked, the spark not quite reaching her eyes, and she let herself scoot closer to Chat. āIt doesnāt sell restaurant dates or rose stems or cruises on the Seine.ā She vaguely gestured to the river beneath them. Her eyes darted to the billboard again. āIt doesnāt sell the illusion of love,ā she sighed. Chat followed her eyes.Ā
āTell me about it,ā he said. āI think Iād rather be alone.ā
When Marinette turned back to see the fringes of a tail swish, her heart sank. She knew what he meant. Knew Chat Noir was lost in a memory he wanted to forget. Briefly, she pondered whether she was worse than anyone Hawkmoth had akumatized, and scratched at her palm again.Ā
āWell,ā Marinette sighed, āwe can be alone together.āĀ
Chat whipped around and pinged ghost ears towards her. She couldnāt quite pin the guilt behind his eyes, or the reason his brows knitted up in sad knots.Ā
āYouāre feeling it too, huh?ā he asked.
Marinette looped the scratched record to an invisible audience of one, feeling the same burn on her cheeks as the invisible tears she ached for.Ā
āRejected,ā she breathed. Her manicure had never looked more interesting. āNo one wants Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Chat. They just want a dream version of her.ā Sticky summer air rose from the streets below. A mix of bakery scents made her nauseous.Ā
āHa. Youāre speaking my language tonight, Miss Reject.ā Marinette hated the edge that clawed at his voice. āWell, hey,ā Chat said, suddenly twisting his legs this way and that to stand himself up and offer her a hand. āWanna be rejects together, Marinette Dupain-Cheng?ā he asked, smiling the first real smile Marinette had seen all night. The breeze suddenly felt like a blanket.
She quirked an eyebrow, then flitted a glance to his open hand. āAnd what do you propose two rejects do together, oh Great Protector of Paris?āĀ
āEh, I donāt know,ā he said, lazily inspecting a claw. āForget theyāre in Paris for a while. Laugh, forget romance exists. Dance a bit.ā He peered green eyes up through a shadow mask. āMaybe pop a visit over to Buttercup.ā
āChat!ā Marinette gasped, drifting her way closer to swat at Chatās shoulder until he was laughing and retracting his leather claws to nurse the hit. āYou canāt say things like that, you stupid alley cat!ā
āWhat?ā he asked, throwing a hand up in mock theatrics. āRomance doesnāt exist right now, remember?āĀ
āSays who? Mayor Noir?āĀ
āYep. Buttercup should obviously mean nothing to you, humble citizen,ā Chat teased.
Marinette narrowed her eyes, then flicked them down to Chatās hand that lay on his waist. āFine,ā she settled. āBut thereās no music.āĀ
āI⦠what?āĀ
āCat got your brain, kitty?ā Marinette floated a centimeter closer to tap the bell around his neck; she felt a flush of satisfaction when his eyes widened the same centimeter. āFor dancing, Ā dummy,ā she said. āI thought if we were forgetting about romance, Chat Noir rules say that weāre supposed to dance for a bit.ā Finger quotes curled around her.
āWow,ā Chat said, gasping in feigned awe. āReally? I thought youād never ask, Miss Dupain-Cheng. Well, if you absolutely insist on whiskering me away to danceā¦āĀ
Before she could protest the bait and switch, Marinette felt claws and leather curl around the small of her back. She twirled and spun and twisted by the work of a shadow noir hand, and the street sounds below turned to giggles.Ā
Maybe that was her.Ā
āThis feels like a waltz,ā Marinette said. She hadnāt realized how quickly or naturally her hands had fallen to Chatās shoulders. On her right, they intertwined hands in the sticky summer air. She forgot about the billboard behind her, where sheād done the same with Chat already.Ā
Different life.Ā
āItās like we should be at a fancy party or something,ā she remarked.
āIf you want,ā Chat said, twirling her again, āI can sneak us into a Bourgeois party. Itās not even midnight. Iām sure the house is still paw-sitively crazy with partiers.ā
āUgh. Iād rather get akumatized.ā
When Chat snorted at her joke, it kissed his eyes; Marinette felt a tiny spark bubble through her core. Adrien never made her feelĀ that.
āWorst way to get akumatized?ā Chat quizzed, making casual conversation. Twirl, dip, lift. Marinette hardly noticed the cement of her balcony.Ā
āMm⦠Anything that turns you into a black cat,ā she said. Her thumb flicked the edges of his counterfeit ears.Ā
āWhat?!āĀ
āYeah,ā she insisted. āSo unlucky, donāt you think?āĀ
āNo, no, no,ā Chat sang, and his hand slid Marinette another centimeter closer. She ignored the butterflies pirouetting in her chest. āTurning into a lovebug would be worse.ā
āLovebugs donāt exist, smarty-cat.āĀ
āYa never know with akumas,ā Chat teased. āThink about it. Lovebugs that make you more obsessed with romance than all of Paris? Claw-ful. Romance is way more unlucky than black cats, anyway.āĀ
āWish you had Lady Luck here, then.ā Marinette stumbled over her ballet flats until Chat pulled her back up. A stream of roses spun around the base of her skull.
āNah. We donāt need her. Youāre enough right now, purr-incess.āĀ
āReally?ā Marinette asked, feigning flattery.
āMhm.āĀ
āHuh. Then why are you about to... fall?āĀ
Marinette spun and spun and spun Chat around in a whip of noir and green, their shouts and stumbling clamors ringing across her banisters, until Chat landed on her striped chair with a splat. Marinette quickly followed suit. When she opened her eyes ā blurry with laughing tears at his ridiculous fall ā Chat was staring beneath her with wide, just-landed-to-safety eyes.Ā
Laughter struck them harder than any akuma could.Ā
āA little warning next time?ā Chat asked, poking her sides.Ā
āNope,ā Marinette said, pawing his hand away. āGotta keep ya on your toes before the evil lovebugs strike.āĀ
She steadied herself against Chat to sit upright beside him, realizing how easy it was to do that with him, and howĀ hardĀ it was to feel this way with Adrien. Stutters, sweat, panic. Was that even love? A secret, lock-and-key part of her wished for this breeziness with Adrien. A wish for Chat, but in the form ofā¦
āDonāt have to worry about lovebugs if Iām looking out for a Maribug.ā
Marinette let her thoughts float through car horns and window cracks. She sat fully upwards, resting elbows on languid knees, and tilted a head for Chat to follow.Ā
āHey,ā she hummed. She nudged closer. When her knee hit Chatās, a protest of Ā meow-ch chorused somewhere. āThanks, Chat.ā
āFor what?ā Chat asked. āFor protecting Paris from the evils of romance?ā He stuck up fake claws like a monster, and Marinette giggled before shoving him away.Ā
āSomething like that.āĀ
Silence cloaked them again, and Marinette snuggled into it ā into the scent of bread, vanilla, and warmth wafting up from the bakery below. She caught a star twinkle especially bright in the corner of her eye.Ā
āItās kinda sad, though.ā Chatās tone, low and scratchy and teetering on broken, snapped Marinette from the dough-dream trance. āThis would be a really nice sight for some couple in Paris.ā
Marinette tilted a glance at him, expecting his stare to be far-off ā maybe with some luckbug spots reflected in the green ā but she could only see her own eyes reflecting back.
āItās a good thing weāre just friends,ā Chat said after a beat, and turned back to the shadow of the moon. āThis could be pretty romantic. Hawkmoth might get to us.āĀ
āAnd youād be failing your duties of keeping us away from romance.ā
āGood thing youāre fur-tunate enough to be in the presence ofāāĀ
āHey,ā Marinette snapped, suddenly feeling the weight of her partnerās cat puns during real akuma fights and Hawkmoth crusades. The balcony felt like it might shrink twenty square feet. āDo you, uhā¦? I have a favor to ask,ā she settled on.Ā
āShoot,ā Chat said.Ā
āWellā¦ā
She bolted upright, letting his tufts of blonde slip away from her shoulder as she criss-crossed her bouncing knees. āCan you come over here more?āĀ
Chat blinked. āWhy?āĀ
Marinette cowered.Ā
āNo, no, Marinette, I didnāt meanāāĀ
āItās okay,ā Marinette gulped. āYou donāt have to. I know Ladybug is important to you, and she takes up a lot of time, andāāĀ
āHey,ā Chat begged. She hadnāt caught her shaking shoulders until Chat steadied them with leather hands and pure calm. Marinette breathed in his cologne, smelling eerily like Adrienās signature fragrance. Her heart stumbled on mishmashed rollercoasters.Ā
āIāll come over when I can,ā he said. āPromise. I need this, too.āĀ
Marinette curled an eyebrow and the corner of her lips, suddenly recapturing the confidence that Chat Noir always managed to give her: whichever her she was.
āNeed what?ā she tempted. āThe lucky charm against romance that only friendship can bring?āĀ
Suddenly, Marinette became acutely aware of her senses. The glitter-flash of moonbeams above them. A vacuum of Parisian street silence below. Windows cracking, closing, and shutting out the world as the summer air turned raw. The cinnamon from Chatās breath. The pulse of her heart pounding in her ears. Was he always this close?Ā
āYeah,ā Chat whispered, flicking his glance between each side of her wispy bangs. āThat.āĀ
A car horn and its impassioned driver ripped Marinette and Chat apart. They sank back into opposite sides of her rose and beige cushions, both toying with their fingers and darting glances over to the other. Marinette focused idly on the headlights below them.Ā
She felt like she was seven again, caught holding hands with a boy beneath timber school desks.Ā
āThanks, Marinette,ā Chat trilled, finally taking a claw to the silence. āThis was fun. It⦠helped. A lot.ā
Marinette smiled. When her eyes crinkled like the moon, she offered Chat her hand in a feigned negotiatory shake. āItās nice to have a friend like you, Chaton.āĀ
āCouldnāt agree more, Maribug.āĀ
Before Chat pounced away into the now midnight air and left her with two French goodbye kisses, Marinette couldnāt help but notice her cheeks burningā for the second time today.Ā
She replayed the night as she walked inside. She replayed it when Tikki interrogated her for clues, and maybe some cookies, Marinette? She replayed it as she lazed into bed, slipping beneath covers and rooftop-hidden stars, feeling safer than she had all day.Ā
All Marinette could hear was a recast loop of the same perfect record.Ā
...Maybe a future without Adrien wouldnāt be so bad.Ā
Does anyone else feel like they have a very specific Miraculous in their head, and you watch the show purely to get content for your own little universe or deeper visuals for a fanfic? Do you know what I'm saying?
Like, sometimes, there are little moments of the show's writing or bigger arcs that blow me away. They're very mature and focused on really deep and fascinating interpersonal relationships. The love square, at its core, is WILD. And like... the Agrestes. The *Agrestes*. Gabriel and Emilie? His relationship-nearing-an-affair with Nathalie? Adrien's growing depression and isolation?!? Showstopper.
Other times, I'm kinda... acutely aware that I'm watching a kid's show. Which is fine! Lol! Of course it's fine, because children are the primary audience. And I'm glad so many of us can enjoy this narrative.
But Miraculous is such a beautiful universe with so many intricately working parts that I sometimes don't understand why the writers refuse to focus on them constantly. I'm probably overanalyzing this because yes, it's "just a kid's show". But this universe has intense themes at its core, which we know because the writers have explored some of them (at least) mildly in-depth.
I'm just always really excited when the show lives up to the Miraculous in my head, which has been BUILT off those working parts presented by Zag/Astruc, or from the ideas I see other incredible fandom artists create through art and fiction. Like, irrationally so.
Does that make sense lol / does anyone else feel this way?
The best type of fanon is āthis is obviously a mistake on the part of the creator but we are going to continue to create in-universe explanations for it with a seriousness that approaches spiteā
I have made and will continue to make so many jokes about how Paris probably thinks Gabriel Agreste killed his wife, but I feel like SOMEBODY out there, at least ONE crazy conspiracy theorist person in Miraculous-verse Paris, thinks that Adrien went crazy and killed his mom because he was mad that his parents wouldn't let him go to school and that Gabriel finally let him go to school the next year because he didn't want to be next. I'm sorry but AT LEAST ONE person has to think tha
Fanon Ladybug: Chat noir is a good teammate, but it would be great if he stopped flirting with me and went after some other girl.
Canon Ladybug: If chat noir shows another girl more than 10 seconds of attention without flirting with me immediately after I will consider it a betrayal