[officially on hiatus, below is a long explanation but still a tl;dr one.]
[guys... i’m so sorry. i should’ve made this earlier but i didn’t know what was wrong. all i knew was that something felt off even though i thought everything was fine, but it’s not fine. i was catfished several months back, for a year, by more than 10 accounts. i was gullible and just willing to believe anything on good faith. after putting two and two together, i couldn’t believe i let it go on for so long, but i never understood why they did it to me - they didn’t ask for money or inappropriate things, no, they just drained my mental energy and drove me to a breaking point, again and again and again. since i’d never get an answer, why they did all of that, i decided to put it in a corner because... i didn’t know what to do. i thought i’d be okay. turns out, i’m not okay, and that wasn’t a good idea. several things have happened over the course of a few months slowly that chipped away at me, and my wonderful course has triggered a few memories and it’s making me anxious to be on here in the first place. i had a horrible dream where the first one i ‘met’ was standing right next to me, walking down a sunny, downhill road, asking me why i ever thought he was fake, and i remember crying in my dream and apologising to him over and over, waking up feeling strangely... violated. it just tipped everythign for me, i’m not okay, but my counsellor is in school and school is out for the summer. i know i’ll be okay, i just haven’t been and won’t be for a while.]
