Welcome To My Life.

I'm sneaky but I'm short so it's cute.

[avidcollectorofdust]

Really glad predictive text exists. Should i bring my own parking lot

[lighthouseshepard-deactivated20]

fries. envelopes. ive been awake for 18 hours can i go to bed now.

[lighthouseshepard-deactivated20]

you know i think the fact that friends and enemies autocorrected to this and i didn't notice is reason enough i should sleep

[lighthouseshepard-deactivated20]

[rhlpixels]

PREPARE FOR TROUBLE 🌹💅

[zephyr-the-artist]

AND MAKE IT DOUBLE 😈🗣️🔥

[kosmogrl]

get in loser we’re gonna try again despite it all

[dailycatsblog]

[godblessthesickos]

World historical loser

[drwiltz-official]

[cathianemelian]

"The best brother and father I've ever had."

[hometoursandotherstuff]

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cwydx34kzlvo

[runcibility]

"Vanderhorst had been under the influence of MDMA and three litres of vodka she had consumed on the night of the offence last September, her lawyer Michael Hill told the court."

three. liters.

[anais-ninja-bitch]

i support women's wrongs

[homoqueerjewhobbit]

[that-house]

Being a little too cold: brrrr i’m a little too cold !!!

Being a little too warm: i am going to kill the next person who makes eye contact with me.

[frontmansdefender]

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

Big and small henchmen for the villain in one of those secret-life-of-mice movies from the 80s

[thatweirduncle]

[evilwizard]

welcome to my new app, UberFeats. i will send heroes to your house to commit great Feats of strength and cunning

[meow-minola]

Will they do my dishes?

[evilwizard]

they will Slay your dishes

[krakoansam]

What about the laundry?

[evilwizard]

they will Slay your laundry

[terri-theslime13]

what about the minotaur harassing my cows

[evilwizard]

they will Have Sex with the minotaur

[kosmogrl]

how it feels when one of your hyperfixations comes back and stronger than ever

[ilynpilled]

how it feels when one of your hyperfixations comes back and stronger than ever

[pulim-v]

how it feels when one of your hyperfixations comes back and stronger than ever

[javacad0]

I'm tired of saying "Sneasels of both forms and Weaviles and also Sneaslers" all the time, there should be an umbrella term.

[cutekittenlady]

I just call em the Weasler family.

[javacad0]

Genius.

[pokemonheritageposts]

Pokemon Heritage Post

[fladurblegon]

“What if poor people abuse the system?”

The system intrinsically abuses poor people.

Hope this helps.

[breninarthur]

"What if poor people abuse the system?"

Rich people abuse the system far more and out of pure greed, not necessity or desperation so idrc about that

[crazy-pages]

If a system needs to be abused for poor people to get the help they need, I don't think poor people are the problem.

[krakenteacups]

[blanq]

tumblr glitched and now there’s just a guy in the void

[daughter-of-prospero]

Wile E. Coyote, two milliseconds before he lights a match only to reveal he's surrounded by flammable traps he himself has set and the whole website explodes

[depsidase]