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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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Janaina Medeiros
DEAR READER

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@alyssadaring
I said I was sorry. You’re not sorry! Your kind is never sorry.
why when able bodied fans draw canonically disabled chair-user characters do they have the abled partner sitting on their lap? i would kill someone if they touched my cane or sat on me in my chair
THIS SHIT IS INFINITELY MORE ROMANTIC THAN SITTING ON TOP OF YOUR DISABLED PARTNER. THE TENDERNESS INVOLVED IN HOLDING YOUR PARTNERS HAND, IN BEING CONSIDERATE OF THEIR SPACE, IN MAKING SURE THEY FEEL SAFE AND LOVED. i’m not going to go as far as saying stop having able bodied people sit on top of their disabled partners but know i’m disabled and would never consider it. i would absolutely get hurt
i hold the same viewpoint on able bodied partners carrying their disabled partner for no reason. my body is a fragile thing, easily broken. it has to be protected even from people with the best intentions. meet me at my level instead of taking me to yours
afrofuturism
15 African-Inspired Sci-Fi & Fantasy Books:
Escaping Exodus by Nicky Drayden
Children of Blood & Bone by Tomi Adeyemi
Binti by Nnedi Okorafor
The Rage of Dragons by Evan Winter
Beasts Made of Night by Tochi Onyebuchi
The Prey of Gods by Nicky Drayden
Sorcerer of the Wildeeps by Kai Ashante Wilson
Mirage by Somaiya Daud
The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms by N. K. Jemisin
Temper by Nicky Drayden
Akata Witch by Nnedi Okorafor
A Taste of Honey by Kai Ashante Wilson
Theonite by M. L. Wang
Black Leopard, Red Wolf by Marlon James
The Kishi by Antoine Bandele
Which of these books has your favorite African-based universe?
The actress is back in a starring role after an ordeal on the Fox drama that began with a serious illness.
It’s nice to see you back in a starring role. Fans ask why they don’t see you more onscreen. I assume the usual roadblocks of being a black woman in Hollywood. But has there been another reason?
When you’re a person of color or a woman of any race, you can be labeled in a way that can change the trajectory of your life, health and career. Turquoise had a child and did what she had to in order to survive, and the community washed her to the side. She’s a bartender now, but she had other dreams.
For me, six years ago I was on a TV show. My co-star and I both got sick at the same time with the same illness and had different treatments. He was allowed to go on leave for a month and I had to continue working. There was a smokescreen of me getting my own episode titled “Mama.” By the end of that episode, I started to fall apart.
They shut down production for two weeks because I got sick. They sent in lots of doctors, and I had daily checkups to make sure I was actually sick because they had to get the production going. Every doctor said I wasn’t doing well and that I needed to rest. That is not what they wanted to hear.
Months ensued and I got a lawyer. I got my hours down and worked through it. But then I developed an autoimmune condition. I had C. difficile [a bacterium that causes a range of symptoms], which had me on eight different prescription medications.
What happened after that?
It took five years to undo those three years. I’ve been putting pieces of myself back together and healing from all the antibiotics and the antiviral steroids as well as the things that happened in that environment. I never wanted to think about this until the resentment and bitterness was out of my system.
A lot of corporations are saying lovely things right now, but it doesn’t always go well when black people speak up and ask questions. We can face weaponized denial and obliviousness.
Sometimes I think that some people I was working with didn’t like that I was unwell but loved by the audience. I would think they’d support that. But everyone of color on that show was seen as expendable and eventually let go.
I tried to get work afterwards and people were like, “We heard you were difficult.” But no one can say I was late or unprofessional or negative.
If you’re black, speaking on your own behalf is considered a problem. But suppressing your feelings isn’t good for your health.
We honor the rebellion as the American Revolution, but rebels of any other hue will not do. One of the things it affected was my thyroid. I couldn’t talk last month. That part of my body shut down. I refuse to let the system continue to stop me from breathing and speaking. But a lot of people of color struggle with that.
I’m very well and wiser now. Sometimes things would happen on set or in the story line and there was the whole “Abbie deserves better” insurrection that happened online. I was like, “How do people know? I haven’t said anything.” I’ve always felt the love.
That’s what I love about social media. You have all kinds of people speaking the truth. And we all know it.
You took some time after “Sleepy Hollow” to rebuild. Many black women don’t feel they can.
I recognize how fortunate I am. So much that happens in our communities can make us ill, angry, depressed. Maybe this pandemic gave us time to ask ourselves: “Where am I? Who am I?” That’s why these uprisings are happening.
When I was on that show, I was working so hard to please people and be accepted. I had to be exceptional. I worked myself to the bone 16 to 18 hours a day thinking that it was going to make a difference on my body. We shouldn’t have to die in the process of having a decent life.
Oh my God!!!!!! I’m fuming!
Physically, I may be here. But mentally I am in a small coastal village in New England, it's late afternoon in autumn and I am wearing a flannel and drinking apple cider. I'm sitting on my back porch, surrounded by trees, and the only sound is the faint sound of the waves crashing onto the shore in the distance.
Heaven.
Slow and steady wins the race
Mental health first, everything else will follow.
50 Meditation Tips
- By Jess Carlson.
I get it. Meditation isn’t always easy. You don’t always have time for it. And maybe you just suck at it. I get it, really I do. Even though now meditation is something I can do easy peasy {mostly} I used to struggle like you wouldn’t believe with just getting my head to shut up long enough to get a few quiet breaths in. Spoiler Alert! You’ll never get your head to shut up. Not truly.
Here’s the thing though – we need meditation. Your excuses and past experiences don’t matter. It’s time to hack it, try something different, and just practice! The number of benefits to meditation are massive. You’ve heard them all by now I’m sure:
Stress reduction
Lower blood pressure
Better focus
Better ability to handle high-pressure situations
Immune system boost
Reduction in negative emotions
Better relationships
Developed intuition
Better nervous system function
Better chances of avoiding heart disease
And that’s just scratching the surface {check out this list of 100 meditation benefits}.
Meditation is simply the practice of maintaining a sense of peace and mental calmness for a period of time. It is not about having no thoughts. To try and empty the mind completely is a waste of time and it defeats the true purpose of mediation. All you need to do is simply let those thoughts come and go. You can’t control the fact that they pop up but you can control hold you react or hang on to them.
So I have for you 50 tips, some super quick and simple, and a few a little more involved, to help you make it happen:
Listen to chants or kirtans. {Deva Premal and Krishna Das are my favs!}
Let the noise around you be like natural music rather than a distraction.
Don’t close your eyes.
Keep a soft gaze on a candle flame.
Count your breaths to keep your brain busy {count 1 on an inhale, 2 on an exhale, and so on up to 10 then start again}.
Stretch first so your body is loose, just like before any exercise you do.
Have a purpose for your meditation. {just being quite is a purpose!}
Make it a ritual.
Try different meditation techniques from different traditions + cultures.
Commit to start with 10 days of meditation without skipping a day.
Use guided meditations.
Meditate when everyone else in the house is asleep or out.
Meditate before you get out bed in the morning.
Meditate at the same time every day.
Use mala beads.
Sit quietly and just mentally list what you’re grateful for that day. {hey, that’s mediation!}
Stop meditating when it feels like it’s time, regardless of what the clock says.
You only need a few minutes a day {5-10 is perfect}, not hours.
If you have a scratch, scratch it! It’s more distracting to try to ignore it.
Start where you are with just 2-3 minutes a day – that’s better than no minutes a day!
Do activities that let your mind wander like looking out the windows at clouds floating.
Write down all your thoughts, frustrations, and to-do’s on a piece of paper so you can get it out of your head before sitting down to meditate.
Mediation has no true beginning or end so don’t worry about the destination and focus on the journey.
Adjust your posture when you start – if you can’t comfortably take a deep breath, shift.
The mind is always changing, so your meditation practice will always change – some days will be harder than others.
The mind is meant to think, so give yourself a few minutes every time to just let the mind do what it wants.
Practice with consistency is the only way it will get easier.
It’s ok to just sit there – just sitting there and being focused on that alone creates an intentioned focus.
Keep a journal handy to write down your Ah-Ha’s and your Ah Crap’s – then work to fix the Ah Crap moments.
Keep track of your excuses and then stop making them!
Do a mediation challenge with a friend – hold each other accountable.
Be realistic and honest with yourself about why you’re doing meditation – what are you looking for?
Don’t judge your meditation – no meditation is good or bad – you get what you need each time.
Turn off and drop out – shut down computers, phones, and anything that can distract you and pull you out of your meditation and back to the daily grind.
Don’t start off with your eyes closed – after getting settled and doing some breathing, let your eyes close naturally.
Make use of the “me time” that you already have – meditate in the shower, on our lunch break, or while you’re walking the dog.
Your mind will wonder and you will start to think – acknowledge when this happens and then turn your attention back to your breath, breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth.
Begin being more present and in the moment in your every daily life {you know, not trying to be a multitasking master} – this will help your meditation practice.
Make sure you’re sitting somewhere that you are completely safe.
You don’t need a special mediation room – you can meditate anywhere you’re comfortable.
Meditation is like running – you have to start small and build muscle to go long distances.
Meditation will never give you a permanent sense of bliss and well-being – instead it gives you a tool to help you create a space of peace and calm in your mind when you need it most.
Create a schedule for building and growing your meditation practice and then stick to it.
If you’re meditating in the morning, do it before your coffee.
Don’t do your meditation after eating, especially big meals – try to meditate on an empty stomach.
Let gravity do it’s thing and really feel the sensation of sitting in your body.
Stretch when you’re done to awaken your body, but don’t jump up and move around too quickly.
Don’t use a timer and don’t rush – just do things in the time that comes naturally.
Cover your eyes with something if you feel the light or outside world distracting.
If your emotions are high and get in the way, turn your attention to your body – where do you really feel these emotions gathering in your body? Acknowledge that, feel it, then let it go and focus back on your breath.
– B.D: I still need practice, but I usually meditate best with my eyes open and just staring blankly at the wall or something. Idk why but when my eyes are closed, my imagination peaks and I just start imagining images that distract me or I just fall asleep lol. Of course I blink, scratch an itch, move a bit to get comfortable, but I’m still meditating. You can meditate while moving. And for me, it’s just as simple as doing it while sitting still. Maybe even simpler because I’m not concentrating on sitting so still, and even if I do move a bit, I am still relaxed.
I also breath in through my nose for the count of 4 seconds, then breath out of my mouth for the count of 4 seconds until I start getting into a meditative state. Then I just continue breathing in my nose and out my mouth. I keep my mouth opened just a little bit the whole time so I don’t have to keep opening and closing my mouth the entire time. I just concentrate on my breathing and nothing else. Sometimes I concentrate on my chakras or I do a tree meditation (I reblogged a version recently, but you can see the version I use here).
I usually meditate laying down or sitting against the wall with a pillow behind my back. It’s more comfortable for me that way. But I always do it on my bed. The floor hurts my butt then I get distracted by the pain or numbness lol.
Stop twisting yourself in knots trying to fit into someone else's mold, box or jump through their hoops. You are best at being on you. Do you. #MondayMotivation #MondayReminder
for the @guardian review