To the woman who thinks she’s in love with my ex,
I’m going to tell you a little bit about the man you think you love. First of all, you don’t. You don’t know what his eyes look like when they well up with tears, you don’t know the way he scrunches his face when he’s tickled, you don’t know how messy his hair gets after sleeping in my bed, you don’t know how it feels for him to pull you close on a cold Sunday morning, you don’t know him at all. I remember the first time he kissed me,
I remember exactly how I felt. It felt as everything in the world had aligned, like all the stars shined for him and I. I remember the first time I made love to him, the way he held me so tight, like he never wanted to let me go. I remember our first Christmas together, how he cried infront of me for the very first time, and how I held him and cried too. I remember staying up until 4am telling each other stories of our childhood and laughing about our stupidity. We were still children ourselves. I remember the way he looked at me on our year anniversary, like he knew he was meant to be with me. I remember passing him notes in class, telling him all the things I love about him. I remember watching him play video games just so I could spend time with him. I remember being so concerned for his safety, that id cry at the mere thought of him getting hurt. I remember going to the fair with him and kissing him on the Ferris wheel. I remember all the halloween’s, Christmas’s, birthdays, midnight talks, anniversaries, love, God do I remember the love. I remember walking down mainstreet Disney with him and thinking,“ this is the man I’m going to spend the rest of my life with,” I remember being wrong. I remember the sinking feeling in my stomach when he said he didn’t love me anymore. I remember the tightening in my chest when I heard about you for the first time. You looked at him the way I did, the way I do. The boy I grew up with, the boy that turned me into a woman. That boy was no longer my bestfriend, and I was no longer his muse. The anger I felt for you both I soon realized was not at either of you, it was at the world. The world had given me a piece of heaven in the form of hazel eyes, and then it was taken away from me, and I was left in hell. I wished happiness for him, but I wanted it to be with me. I wanted him to want me the way he wants you. You know him, but God you don’t know him. You know the taste of his lips, and what it feels like to dig your nails into his back, you don’t know what it feels like to be loved by him. You don’t know what it feels like to be in love with him. He’s something beautiful you know? Someone you only meet once in your life, and he leaves such a big imprint when he’s gone. He’s the kind of person that could hurt you over and over and you’d still see the good in him, because there’s so much good in him. Please remember that he likes chicken sandwiches with Italian dressing at 2am, and that he loves to cuddle all night. Please hold him when he cries, don’t make him feel like he’s less of a man. Please don’t ever raise your voice at him, because he’s been through so much, and I made that mistake. Please remember that he’s picky about movies and won’t watch them unless he gets to pick them. Please remember that he hates his hair being played with, and that I always did it. Remember that he began to hate the things he once loved about me. Remember he will begin to hate them about you too. He’s scared, so scared, but he won’t ever admit it. I never got to find out what he feared, maybe you will. I’m just telling you, please just listen. Austin was the one for me, but I wasn’t the one for him. He was my bestfriend in the whole world. He loved me unconditionally for 3 years. He was my first love, and I was his. I hate thinking about you two, and the fact that he likes you more than me, maybe even loves you. I hate that he replaced me. I hate that I lost him. Please don’t lose him, it will be the most painful thing you’ll ever go through. Please know that I know him better than you, and that I will always love him. Please try to love him more than I did, but I don’t think that’s possible. Please, please remember my heart breaks everytime I see you with him. I know you don’t care. He’s your “life” now. But he will never mean to you what he means to me.
Please love him right. Please please love him right.
Sincerely,
The woman who will always love him.
amandla
kianamaiart
germansingergirl
dailybridgerton
