YUP, THAT'S HIM OFFICER--THIS IS THE SCAM I WAS TALKING ABOUT A MONTH AGO. I LEGIT HAD TO ASK ALL MY FRIENDS TO VERIFY THEY COULD SEE ALL MY POSTS BECAUSE THOSE FUCKASS "ACCOUNT VERIFICATION" SCAMS KEPT TALKING ABOUT SUM "we have locked your account from the public" OR SOMETHING
REPOSTING TO SPREAD THE WORD--DONT CLICK ON THESE SCAM LINKS. staff.tumblr.com/check ISNT EVEN A VALID URL I CHECKED
FUCK, FUCK FUCK. THATS IT- FUCK EVERYTHING- I CANT HOLD IT IN ANYMORE—WE’RE TALKING ABOUT OLD MAN YAOI EDITION WAYNE AND GARTH
I don’t know why, but the concept of Wayne and Garth growing up to be an old gay married couple warms my heart so fcking much like the idea of them getting married and spending the rest of their lives together brings me such an overwhelming amount of joy and happiness that it’s sickening
I mean come on they’re already so good for each other??? wayne loves garth, and accepts him no matter how weird everyone else thinks he is, and Garth fcking loves Wayne he would literally do anything for him??? like he fucking WORSHIPS him like do yall remember when he did a LITERAL FUCKING RENAISSANCE-STYLE PAINTING of Wayne back in that 2021 Uber Eats ad????
(and there are people ik irl who SWEAR to me that Wayne and Garth are straight, it’s like “oh yeah I spend 20 minutes on a super detailed painting of my best friend yeah that’s pretty platonic if you ask me” 😭😭😖😖😖😖)
I’m ashamed to say it’s gotten to the point where I have started daydreaming about what their wedding would be like. I know I know I’m so fucking weird but I mean cmon???? hear me out tho??? who would even officiate the wedding? Terry? Alice Cooper? Glen?!?!?!?
I should probably write a fanfic about them being married…..I don’t have any fic ideas though……aghhhh rip ;^;
an overzealously elaborate lore/info dump of all the stuff I found in the “Wayne’s World: Extreme Close Up” book
okay right off the bat I wanna thank @amajustafanintheworld for bringing up the existence of this ancient ahh WW book in the Wayne’s World tumblr group which I woulda NEVER found all on my own (thx pookie)
so yeah—Wayne’s World: Extreme Close Up is an old A-to-Z format book released by Mike Myers and Robin Ruzan in 1992, and basically—it’s just Wayne screwing around, but in a BOOK!!!! :D
there’s a lot of lore, canon facts and other cool stuff about Wayne in this book regarding his late teenage years, in addition to some other interesting facts abt other people in the WW universe so I decided to post some cool facts/screenies of the book here.
there’s ALOT of information he gives us here, but for the sake of time I won’t post EVERYTHING, only the things I found interesting
spade said he had screenshots of every single page but he was concerned that posting them here would get him banned or smth but because I am a SILLY GOOBER who likes to GAMBLE on BAD CHOICES im gonna risk posting a verbal recount of the book here because I mean Wayne’s World is worth it ngl
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1: Foreword
first page explains how the hell he got a book in the first place
petition to make this the copypasta anthem of the Wayne’s World fandom
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2. he hates his old vice principal/has a crush on Garth’s mom
page 12/13 is “Wayne’s Top 10 Babes of All Time”/“Wayne’s Top 10 Worst Babes of All Time”
in these pages he lists his junior-high vice principal under no. 5 of the “Worst Babes” list and has Garth’s mom—yes, Garth’s mom—high up on the “Best Babes” list on no. 3
yknow i was gonna go all wild about this but then i got a flashback to that time when i was younger, i had a crush on David Muir so i can’t even be talking right now
(and hey, no offense to anyone with crazy hear me outs………but David Muir is crazy work, even for me 😭😭😭)
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3. Beev’s Ad
Beev is Garth’s canon father, he made an appearance on an early SNL Wayne’s World sketch and was mentioned by Garth in the second movie but never really made an appearance. He works at a tiny convenience store in Aurora (that Wayne would occasionally steal sodas from) and if I’m remembering this correctly, Garth would work shifts there from time to time I think
Page 15 Beev has an ad in the book, along with a mini “Top Ten Things Beev Says” list, the top 4 obviously looking like something Wayne wrote to be silly or somethin’-
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4. Wayne’s “Spartacus” story
page 38, Wayne is teaching us how to insult people by calling them “gimps” but there’s a really funny story involving Garth in the introductory paragraph I thought was funny
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5. n i b b l e t (also Austin powers foreshadowing?)
Wayne reveals some information about himself on page 50 in addition to gaining a random short lived obsession with the word “nibblet” for literally no reason but hey I ain’t hating on the freak
he says a lot of sh t on this page, I dunno how much of it is fabricated for a joke/hyperbole but his full name, birthday and preferred zodiac/sun sign, eye color, hobbies, pets and mbm are the only things here I’m taking seriously/interpreting as canon here lol
(we already knew about his occupation, location and parents before and some of the other stuff up there is painfully obvious which is why I didn’t list it up there)
also—this book was released in 1992—but he lists “yes, please” on sex and has his occupation as “International Man of Mystery”…….remind you of anyone??????
!!! more lore ahoy ——— keep reading !!!
6. humble poet
page 61: basically he just writes a bunch of poetry here
splash
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7. show ya how to schwing, show ya how to schwing /ref
pages 68/69, Wayne gives a very elaborate tutorial on how to “schwing”, very cool very nice I will make sure to follow ts later lol
the fact that this landed on page 69 was just icing on the cake lol
that’s all for now. there were a few more interesting things I found in the book but I didn’t feel like writing it in here.
OH ALSO here are some miscellaneous pictures of Wayne (and a few Garth ones) I found in the book I thought looked cool that I didn’t feel like organizing:
yousharknotpass
2087
origamiaround
pixelskylines
amandla
