What?

| Bert | '96 | Belgium |

[flamingkorybante]

From Something That May Shock And Discredit You, Daniel Lavery

[randomproxy]

reading this book rn and it is several dozen moods

[guerrillatech]

[kawaoneechan]

[actionjeffson]

smoking weed with my tits out hell yeah

[daddymymouthisfullofstars]

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

when I was a little kid at some point I got upset with my parents because I didn't have a crucifix in my bedroom and they did- I was like why do YOU get to be safe from vampires??? you're okay with me getting my blood sucked???? so we took a little trip to the catholic store but the one closest to us was run by a group of nuns that had been moved here from romania. I got a little baby pink cross and this sweet old nun was like 'aww, is this a baptism gift?' and I was like no. I need to be protected from vampires. and she immediately got SO serious and was like 'this is the best one we've got, you'll definitely be safe' and since she was literally from vampire land I was convinced she was like, van helsing. like the whole time my parents had been laughing about how cute my fear was but she literally Knew dracula and was taking my concerns seriously I held this over my parents for so long lmfao

[keremelcream]

i am once again fighting the urge to disappear

[timeofdeathnote]

there’s avatar and then there’s the blue people movie

[transgenderer]

you shouldnt have to pay for the dentist. the dentist should pay me for satsifying their weird fetish

[heywriters]

Using tumblr is like living in a low class apartment building. You just get used to the landlord not fixing things, and then someone new moves in and you're helpfully like "oh yeah don't drink the tap water, it's got stuff in it that makes you sick" and then your neighbor you've had forever goes "oh they took the stuff out actually" and you're like "what? when was this?"

"like two years ago"

"you mean i could've been drinking the tap water all this time?"

"yeah. they gave us individual mailboxes too finally, you don't have to dig through the communal bin anymore"

"are you for real right now?? i just redirected my mail, i didnt know"

and the new tennant is like "why did you guys even live here if it was so bad"

"we like it."

"I kinda miss the communal mail bin tho"

[heywriters]

"the perpetually naked guy got evicted though"

"i know, so sad. he was really gross"

"i mean, his cousin streaks through the commons sometimes and knocks on all the doors"

"oh yeah, hate that guy"

[aniseandspearmint]

New Person: I just saw this weird guy in the lobby in a really creepy anthropomorphic Pikachu costume??????

Old Resident: yeah we have no idea where that guy came from. We've left messages with maintenance 'bout 'im but-

Other Old Resident: just don't make eye contact and you should be fine.

[sometimesdesperate]

"what are these strange markings in the paint?"

"Oh! Thats from the crab infestation!"

"The crab infestation?! Wow, glad they got that under control before I moved in."

"Oh, no no, it was an intentional infestation."

"Uh...."

"Yeah, we're hoping they bring the crabs back next year. A lot of us made friends with those crabs."

[paperpalooka]

No, I'm not joking, he doesnt just look like him, I swear to God neil gaiman lives across the hall.

[pukicho]

U know the world is definitely a little magical and it’s nice

[straawberrylumps]

pics or it didn’t happen

[pukicho]

My dog holds stick like a big cigar

[c-bassmeow]

[dashaibo]

Gay people from 1950-2010: we are human just like you, we’re not another species or a subculture, the only difference is that we are attracted to the same gender.

Gay people in 2018: straight people are stinky, WIG!

[if-only-angels-could-prevail]

straight people ARE stinky

[if-only-angels-could-prevail]

wig!

[ketamie]

wtf is going on <3

[kaijuno]

[humorstar]

A pixel cat from the 1980s.

[memeuplift]

[evilvillain123456789]

Uh honey? There's a guy at the door that wants you to kill yourself

[anxietyproblem]

[ruinedchildhood]