Relatable Life Stories

We all need to laugh a little more at life

[amanda2313]

Rubbing it in

Oh Amazon!  You have a super cute little duffle (how come you are telling me I spelled that incorrectly!?) bag icon with an "off to college" slogan at the top of your browser page.  The Internet is a super-stalker mechanism, always personalizing the ads/banners etc. based on what I'm searching for/reading....yet they missed the memo that I am no longer participating in the HEAVEN that was 4 years of my life that ended 8 years ago.  Nope!  My life now is about poop and/or constipation, not getting nearly enough sleep, having to argue with toddlers over why it's not nice to throw sticks at people, and endless ENDLESS amounts of laundry.  I feel jealous of everyone going to college.  

Amazon

[amanda2313]

Modern Children

I'll tell ya, kids these days...

Today my 3 year old surprised me at 3 separate intervals with the ways he views things due to exposure and his surroundings.

1: I told him we need to go to the grocery store.  He asks if it's to get more oysters (after eating oysters on the 1/2 shell last night, he wanted more).

2.  Used the bathroom at my old grade school's gym today and he was disappointed that neither the flusher, or hand dryer, were automatic.

3.  After a playdate we went to the local chain grocery store.  He asks if it is in fact, the grocery store.  I say it is, to which he protests that "I don't like it."  When I ask for clarification, he states the (obvious?!?!) answer: "I like Whole Foods Paycheck."  

REALLY!?

[amanda2313]

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Our kids are revolting against us.  Bedtime is a war zone.  "Sleep regression" is what they call it, I guess?  Our 4 month old daughter has decided she's not going to cooperate at night, and since I'm home alone most nights with the two kids, the weekend is when I beg for tag team efforts.  Last night I had my husband go in (2 of the 6 or so times) to try and comfort her, thinking that if she didn't smell me she would be more likely to calm down.  I spied on them from the monitor and just shook my head.  Hubby was sitting in the rocker, holding her like she had a communicable disease so I used the two-way talk feature on the monitor to tell him to "try a little harder!"  This is the result.  Lawd have mercy.  Men are funny. 

After this (and many other attempts) didn't work, we decided to let her cry in bed for about 10 minutes.  She was 4 months old yesterday, and cried herself to sleep.  Girls are so dramatic.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aO8dPUwAIu8&feature=youtu.be

[amanda2313]

Holy Sh*t...it's alive!

If you live in or around the northeast, then you understand me when I say winter cannot be over soon enough.  Not having seen the grass in as long as we have, you can imagine that today's mild weather has me feeling nothing short of giddy.  I even spotted crocuses in my neighbors yard.  Hallelujah!  

[amanda2313]

Touch 'o gray

Yesterday my husband sent me a photo of a few white hairs he spotted on his 32 year old head.  

I find it terribly attractive and wonder if this is the beginning stages of growing old together.  He's not so sure.  I get the impression he thinks the kids (3 year old boy he lovingly calls a shit head and 4 month old girl who will rule his planet) and I are going to kill him.

This just in: my dainty flower is passing gas on my lap and smiling at me.  Sense of humor already!!

[amanda2313]

Toddlers and Thongs

I'm *almost* sorry to say that I love me some comfortable, cotton, briefs.  In an effort to spice things up today, I went all fancy and rocked the thong (sorry for the visual.  For those who don't know me, imagine Gisele Bundchen).  My 3 year old son must be confused, since he approached me exclaiming: "Mommy!  Get your underwear out of your butt!"  Then he tried to pick my "wedgie"  which was the icing on the cake.  Moral of the story...stick to what you know.  That, or don't let your toddler see you 1/2 naked.

[amanda2313]

What I forgot...but also, what I remembered!

On my commute to work this morning, I thought about how much I forget to do/bring/remember on a daily basis.  However, there's so much more that I actually REMEMBER, and I should praise myself for that as a mom of two who also works outside the home 3 days a week.  Today I forgot: swipe card to my son's daycare and dress shoes that are appropriate for work (I wore rubber boots due to the weather).  Whatever!  Today I remembered: BOTH kids, all the things my daughter needs for a day at Lou Lou and Grandad's (my parents), things my son needed for daycare, I got a shower, made our bed, and fed myself breakfast.  And from my perspective, I only complained to my husband about 50% of my usual morning freakishness.  Hot damn.  I'm on a roll...

[amanda2313]

New at this whole "blogging" business...

I always thought blogs were for people who thought other people cared about what they did/thought/made/bought etc.  I guess maybe a little bit of me wonders if anyone cares what I have to say?  I'm going to give it a whirl!  I have a LOT of thoughts swirling around in this head of mine...