let love grow.

amelia wright, 21, north end, medical student at cornell university, daughter-less, family-less, but hopeful. it takes bravery to be kind in a cruel world.

[ameliaxwright]

hazel.

Hazel’s heart was breaking for her cousin - the kindest person she knew probably, and the last person who ever deserved what she had been given. But it wasn’t about Amelia. Maybe it should have been more about her, because then that meant Hazel was less selfish and that she would actually be brave and strong like her younger cousin, but how could she? This decision… There was no right or wrong, and Hazel felt like she was damned if she did one thing, damned if she didn’t, and for now, this was the decision she had made because it made the most sense. Well, it did until she saw all that pain in Amelia’s eyes. “Amelia… Please, please don’t cry.” She said and moved closer but very slowly. “I would never try to belittle your pain and your loss - you have no idea how much it hurts me that you had to go through what you did, but this is… It’s different. Davis, he…” She became quiet and looked at the ceiling for a couple of seconds. “I know this will hurt Amelia, I know it will because I’ve done it before. I did it when I was a teenager and Davis, he… He left. One day he was there, and then the next, he was gone. And I just- I can’t do that again, because I still- I still love him… I know that doesn’t sound like a good enough reason to do what I’m planning on, but I just- I can’t have his baby. I don’t want to do that to my own child. I’m so, so sorry Amelia… I really am.”

But once she started to cry, there wasn’t really anything that could make Amelia stop again. She tried so hard every single day of her childless life not to cry every hour of the day, and most of the time she succeeded — but she still had days were she was paralysed by grief and couldn’t get out of bed but only cry, cry, cry. And this… This felt like that. Everything Hazel said only made her miss Emma more, and made her want to change Hazel’s mind. “So it’s all because of a guy? It’s all because of Davis? Davis of all people…” She thought about him, remembering him well. He had made her cousin so happy back when she had just moved here, but why was he more important than her child? “So that’s it, huh? You have the opportunity to have a family with the man you love, but because you’re scared… You won’t even try? You won’t even give your baby a chance?” She looked at her, tears rolling down her cheeks in a steady stream.

[ameliaxwright]

ophelia.

                Ophelia chuckled lightly, head shaking in a soft manner. “Thank you. I hope it won’t happen either, but I won’t be surprised if it does.” Ophelia was stressed out these days, after all, and losing her keys was probably just the beginning of her descent into madness. “That’s good— distractions are definitely good, yes,” she nodded, agreeing. “Yeah, he is, he’s… he’s got cancer. Leukemia…” Her grip tightened on the steering wheel, her eyes watering, but only for a second before she banished the tears somewhat successfully.

“Let’s not worry about it until it does though — which I of course still hope doesn’t.” She smiled but she didn’t smile for long. She forgot everything about the previous conversation actually, when Ophelia told her about her little brother. “Oh, Ophelia… I… I am so, so sorry.” She didn’t know what else to say even if it were the most cliche words ever. “Do you want to pull over for a bit? We can talk maybe, or just sit here for a moment…”

[ameliaxwright]

carter.

He clicked his tongue. The sensible thing to do was to say it was his fault, and keep up Yasmin’s image. The problem was, he knew Yasmin would eventually turn on someone else, and he didn’t want to have done nothing. “Because the woman you think you know is just the mask she wears. This, the woman who abandons her kids and doesn’t look back… that’s the woman I’ve been married to. Trust me, you are a lot better off with her not being in your life”. 

Amelia had no reason to trust or believe Carter. She knew Yasmin a lot better than she knew Carter — at least that was how it had felt, but she didn’t feel like it anymore, and for some reason she didn’t doubt him when he said it was a mask she had worn all along. “I’m sorry,” she said and sighed, looking down for a long moment. “I know I shouldn’t believe you, because Yasmin’s my friend, but… I believe you.”

[ameliaxwright]

savannah.

“Exactly. Would still be worth it.” She grinned looking down at the menu, scanning all of the options. “And there’s nothing wrong with that.” She grinned, It’s like, the best of all the worlds.” 

“It would definitely be worth it!” She agreed and laughed, while she imagined how few people would actually believe them if they said they had been bankrupt because they bought too much junk food. The thought was amusing in itself. “Okay, so I’m definitely going to have a the bacon cheeseburger with the curly fries and... A milkshake. I’m starving.”

[rainbowkarolina]

[marinascntos-blog]

ft. @ameliaxwright

[ameliaxwright]

carter.

“You’re probably better off to be honest” or he had to hope at least. He didn’t want to believe there was anyone else as rotten to the core as Yasmin, but he couldn’t allow himself to risk it. “That’s my sob story anyway. I’d hope things on your end have been better”.

Amelia stayed quiet for a couple of seconds, thinking about Yasmin and where on earth she were now. “She’s not in town, is she?” She asked. “Why would she just leave like this?” She sighed. It wasn’t any of her business, but she felt bad for Carter.

[ameliaxwright]

marina.

               “My dear sweet and precious Amelia, you have happen to have been told by me now. Let me continue to sweeten up our daily,” her resplendent tone concluded. “Have you guys been hanging around and making a secret group because you are the third person to tell me I deserve more? But you are silly, you are everything I need. I’ve settled well.” She reminds, looking delightful. At times, it made Marina wonder why people thought so highly of her. If anything, it was sweet but she loved each one of those people like her life depended on it. Amelia was everything Marina longed for a best friend and sister. The blonde was her forever and always. The adventures of their life being shared with one another. “I may be short but I have a killer punch. Wonder Woman will need to hide.” Laugh overtaking her playful tone, adding to their superhero topic. Her demeanor was soft, glistening stormy hues at her beautiful and fighter of a best friend. She deserved to hear each one of Marina’s thought. “You know how I can be a sap for my loved ones. I love you dearly. One day, both you and I, will be a known power duo taking over this world. I comfortably know with you beside me, everything will be fantastic.” Lightly squeezing the hand of the other, Marina sniffled as eyes twinkled in the daylight. “I’m sold for it. It was just a matter of time till we talked about this. I love living with my parents but I feel times come around where I should be with my girls. Every day sleepovers are the best. Now, we may just need to follow through with out words now.”

“Do you know that you’re way too sweet to me, and that I definitely don’t deserve you?” She asked, but with the biggest, most thankful smile on her lips. She truly had no idea what she would do without her girls — she couldn’t have survived the last year without Marina’s undying support, that much was crystal clear to her. “I can’t say I’ve made a secret group, so obviously, if everyone tells you yo deserve more, then that can only be true, you know? But if there is a secret group, can you please get me into it somehow? I would love to join it.” She chuckled. It was easy for her to understand why people loved and adored Marina so much — she was genuine and real, and she was a fighter, strong and honest, and everything Amelia hoped to one day be herself. “If you listen carefully, I think you can hear Wonder Woman running and hiding right about now,” she joked with a light laugh. “Yes, and I love it when you’re a sap,” she teased, “I love everything about you,” she said in a firm voice that held only truth and kindness for her best friend. “It will be fantastic. People are going to love us, and Trump will finally disappear and leave the world completely alone. I can’t wait.” She laughed with eyes full of happy tears, her hand holding onto Marina’s firmly. “Well, when you’re ready to move out, you know I’ll gladly be waiting for those sleepovers.”

[ameliaxwright]

savannah.

Sliding into the booth, Savannah followed suit, hand on a menu pulling it open. “I also want everything.” She said with a sigh, “what happens if we order one of everything and just split it?” The redhead grinned, “cause that could be fun I think, or maybe that would be too much food, but I still think there is nothing wrong with too much food.” 

“We would probably bankrupt each other, but it would still be worth it,” she laughed and tried to imagine how much food that would be. Somehow it only made her want it even more. “At least we would have food for the rest of the week then — and I agree, there’s definitely nothing wrong with too much food.”

[ameliaxwright]

ophelia.

                    “It really seems so,” Ophelia agreed, breathing out a soft chuckle. It was always surprisingly comforting to find a kin in someone else, even if that meant that two people had a knack for misplacing things— sadly enough. “Ah well, before I know it, I’ll be doing that too, I can feel it.” Questions between friends could be heavy, but question between friends that also went to support group together— well, they were almost always exclusively heavy and this was no exception. “Sorry about the school work,” the brunette whispered and then trailed off. “They’re—- they’re not that great. Idris, he’s… he’s sick.” She was probably going to find out anyways later, so Ophelia felt it was safe to tell the blonde.

“I will keep my fingers crossed and hope that’s not true. No one deserves the confusion and humiliation of looking for something that’s already in their hands,” she said and laughed, her cheeks coloured pink for another couple of seconds after. “It’s okay, I’m used to all the school work, in a way it’s actually good — it’s a good distraction at least…” She shrugged, but her focus was on Ophelia when she heard the worry in her voice. “Idris is sick?” She repeated and felt like an idiot for not saying something more clever. “I… I am sorry Ophelia. What kind of sick?”

[ameliaxwright]

jake.

              “Ooooh, blondie you haven’t lived—” He snorted, grabbing the two bags and leading her into the kitchen. “We fill these up and put them all over the apartment. We’ll start his bedroom, then work our way back to the kitchen. Leave ourselves a path and scarper. If we get carried away, then…” He paused and took a breath, “We’re gonna’ get very wet and will flood the apartment.” Giving her a smile, he threw a pack of cups at her and twisted the tap on. “You ready?”

“That’s debatable,” she mumbled to herself, but saw how incredibly weird her life had been so far. Two extremes — the innocent, timid priest’s daughter on one side, and then the reckless teen mom on the other, and yet Jake was kind of right… She hadn’t lived. She listened carefully as he explained, and for a second it seemed like a pretty easy task, but the thought of flooding the apartment made her rethink that. Still, it couldn’t be that hard, right? She swallowed and nodded, pulling out the first cup. “I’ll fill, you place them,” she said even though she wasn’t sure if she was supposed to call the shots here or not.

[ameliaxwright]

“I actually used to go here a lot when I lived in the city,” Amelia said and pushed the glass door open to a small, hidden cafe. It was only ten minutes away from support group, and it had almost become a ritual for her to go here either before or after a session, depending on her mood of course. That she asked Mason to come along this time, was definitely not planned, but something that just happened — but it was nice to have his company. “It’s such an underrated place. I don’t think a lot of people knows it even exists,” she said and smiled at the barista. “It’s actually a kind of library too.” She looked around at all the bookcases and then at Mason. “You can read the books while you’re here, even buy some of them. Some wealthy guy donated all his books to his friend’s daughter when he died. And then she opened up this place, and well… this is all his books.”

{ @masonjcnes }

[ameliaxwright]

davis.

Davis didn’t allow himself much stock in things like hope right now, but Amelia’s words made it exceedingly difficult. Because it was true: Hazel was meant to be a mother. She had been since she was 17 years old, regardless of whether or not she believed it; regardless of whether or not it had actually happened. It was part of what made him so sure at 18 years old - young and in love for the very first (and only) time. Their timing had been wrong, but Davis used to believe in things like destiny, and that was what if felt like… He’d wanted to believe that, just like he wanted to believe it now. Hazel was supposed to be a mother. It was what made this scenario so much worst - there was no one to blame for it but himself. He had fucked everything up; without the mistakes that he had made, Hazel would have no reason to even hesitate. 

He’d had no idea that Amelia had once had a child, nor that she had lost her, and he felt for her in a way that one only could when they’d lost one (now almost two) of their own. “I’m so sorry, Amelia. Truly. But, I really don’t know. I mean, I didn’t understand once, and yet, here we are again… I want to believe that - really, I do - but past experience doesn’t work in that favor. I really think she might hate me that much she can’t stand any reminder of me…” 

Amelia had been putting on the act of her life these last couple of months. She had gone back to college — now a semester behind, yet still following the plan she had made. She was meant to go back to school now, and Emma was supposed to start daycare, and somehow Amelia would be able to juggle it all. She would have. She would have aced it because she loved med school, and she loved being a mother. She just wasn’t one anymore, and nothing hurt as much as that fact. But knowing what Hazel had in mind, came close. Yes, she was acting like everything was fine, but on the inside she was breaking apart and she wasn’t sure she could keep it together now. She’d broken down in front of Hazel, and now she could feel the same tremble in her fingers again, the same tightness in her chest — and she hated herself for it.

“But… She won’t care about that!” She blurted out and sobbed even though she fought it with everything she had. “Maybe she hates you now Davis, but when the baby comes…” She could still see it, envision it for her eyes, how Emma had looked the first time she opened her eyes and stared back at her. Everything they had ever said about parenthood, every cliche, mushy thing suddenly made more sense than anything in the world. “There is no love like that,” she whispered, “nothing compares… Nothing matters anymore. She needs to understand.”

[ameliaxwright]

gaige.

“I think people confuse passion with life goals. I think that people that really care are willing to really buckle down with things get rough.” Gaige spoke breezily after chewing and swallowing the next bite of his flaky pastry. He never wanted to be the world’s greatest veterinarian or anything of the sort. To him, it was a fruitless goal. He was the top of his class when he graduated, but he gained nothing from that position. What he had wanted was to become a capable doctor, so that he would be proficient in treating animals in need. He supposed that was what set apart doctors and careerists. “Do you mind if I…” He wiped his hand with a napkin and gestured towards one of her books. He couldn’t help himself, really. Gaige really wanted to take a look.

“Yeah, that sounds about right,” Amelia nodded in agreement. She thought about it for another couple of seconds — she had definitely never considered quitting, not even after she lost her daughter. Weirdly enough, that only made her want to become a doctor even more. She was brought out of her reverie when his gestured towards one of her books, his words registering with her a second later. “Oh,” she said and kicked into gear, handing over the book. “Of course — go ahead.” She smiled and placed it in his hands safely.

[ameliaxwright]

jake.

            The alleyway cut the journey by fifteen minutes and Jake was all about making the ordeal as quick as possible. They were on a time limit anyway, so by the time the pair had reached the side-exit to the apartment block, Jake started taking the steps two at a time. “You ever seen the cups and water prank?” He called back, coming to stop in front of dented blue door. “That’s what we’re doing—” Unlocking the door with a key from his pocket, Jake stepped inside and pointed towards three sacks of plastic cups. “And if we do it wrong, we’re fucked.”

Amelia followed Jake and tried to do it as gracefully as possible, without lacking too far behind — clearly she wasn’t that versed in sneaking around and possibly breaking and entering. She was learning it though, and somehow that made her a little happy. “The cups and water prank? Um, no I don’t think so..?” She knitted her brows and followed his gaze to see the many cups, figuring they would have to fill them all and then… do something with them. “Well, then we just won’t do it wrong.”

[ameliaxwright]

carter.

“Why? Is she?” he knew that probably sounded like he cared, the truth was he just wanted to know how the other woman was acting. He was also still trying to suss Amelia out, figure out if she had been spending time around the woman, and if he should be worried.

“Is she sorry? Yasmin? I don’t know,” Amelia said and said it honestly. She didn’t know, because she hadn’t seen her in a while. “I haven’t seen her in a while. The last time I talked to her, was on the phone — she told me she wasn’t with you anymore, but that was all. Haven’t heard from her since.”

[ameliaxwright]

savannah.

For her sake, Savannah hoped the same thing. But then again, the other seemed like she had her head screwed on a little tighter. “don’t–” the redhead shook her head. It didn’t make any sense for her to be sorry. Everyone was sorry, she was tired of hearing all of the sorrys. But at the end of the say, she still appreciated it. “Like, probably. Who doesn’t need all the food in the world?” She shrugged, walking through the door, making a beeline for a booth, “I am maybe a little too excited about this.” 

Amelia understood so she ate her words again, and let the subject float away — they were not going to talk about Grant. Not because they didn’t miss him, because they obviously did and Amelia wished she could bring him back for Savannah, just like she wanted her daughter back more than anything, but today wasn’t supposed to be a sad day, so she filled her lungs with the delicious scent of greasy fast food instead, and smiled. “Right? I ask myself that all the time,” she chuckled and followed her in to one of the booths, grabbing a menu. “I want everything.”

[ameliaxwright]

sophie.

                                “Same goes for you, just so you know..” They were both her girls, the one she loved to the moon and back, only five times more. “I love how you guys have my back, always. It makes me feel more confident when I’m about to screw things up.” She said jokingly, “You’re the woman of my dreams, which makes me wonder why on Earth we haven’t gotten married yet. After that, we could go to the animals shelter and adopt a couple of children as well.”

“Oh I know,” she said and laughed, but it was still nice to hear. Honestly, Amelia would do anything for Sophie and Marina and it didn’t bother her the slightest that she would willingly lay down her own life for them. They were, without a doubt, the most amazing people she knew — they were her family. “Oh, yeah?” She laughed. “I guess that’s what best friends are for, right? To make it more okay to screw up,” she joked, even though it was actually really true. “I’m really confused as to why we haven’t gotten married yet either. You are the perfect woman after all. Oh my god, that sounds like such a good idea?! Get hitched and then straight to the animal shelter!”