‘ asher … ’ she wanted to say more, wanted to do something about fixing this situation, but found herself coming closer for the sake of giving asher some kind of solace in her being there. ‘ i missed you, a lot, and i feel terrible for not coming around sooner. i know how things can get with me, and they can get messy, but you should know, i missed you, more than i dare to admit. and while there’s nothing i can do to fix that, i want to try. even if it means making you dinner on the daily and making damn certain you never have to worry about where i am, and while i’m doing that, i am going to tell you this one thing: you are not leaving here. don’t care how much of a threat that sounds like, it’s not. and i just want you to be happy so please, ’ she’d eventually brush fingers along his jawline, forehead dipping inwards to touch to his, grin overwhelming flush cheeks and full lips, ‘ don’t argue with me about something i want to do. just allow me this much and know that it’s for the sake of knowing i have you, here, and that this is real. ’
words were kind, and near appreciative of the fact that he hadn’t mistaken this for nothing more than a dream. while yes, some part of eve was willing to offer forth the idea of a sleep over, would eve not think of it, eyes closing to listen to tender pitter patter of his heartbeat. how could she hide this pleasure? she was willing to expose herself to the beauty that was their being together and found fear no longer existing when brushing fingertips along his jawline once again. ‘ you’re a good person, asher, and i love that about you. but, ’ she’d move away for the sake of grasping at wine glass, hip jutting against countertop while discoloured hues lingered on his being, acknowledging the faint wrinkles that appeared, ‘ you should know, i’m still a sucker for having your company here. and really … i would enjoy it if you stayed here, watched a movie with me, ate some popcorn, drank a bit more … you know, what we would do on our friday night’s long ago. how does that sound, johnson? would that make up for lost time? ’
he’d never quite mastered the art of light-heartedness or merriment. no matter how much effort was conjured and put into the endeavor of stern avoidance, the slippery slope of a glum mind kept steering toward the dark of his past’s mistakes and future’s harrowing uncertainty. he wasn’t any good at blind-sighted optimism, too lured in by the inevitable bad, the cruelty of natural evolution within the years of a single, brutally human life. well aware those thoughts weren’t holding claim or right of existence in a moment of recent reunion, and yet he could not help but remember that their story was finite. it had been from the moment they first met, all those years ago. their ending was unlikely to be one stemming from contentment and happiness but bitterness and misfortune. but perhaps in another life, things would fall into place, in their favor. as she spoke, he began to lightly shake his head, from side to side with eyes partially veiled by fluttering skin. it wasn’t like it’d been on her ...“eve--” it very much sounded like a soft plea, some kind of request for things he found himself unable to specify in reticent process of hazy thoughts. a near silent sigh, and a moment later he stared again into a set of eyes, with their distinct, close to hypnotic heterochromatic character. his answer was denoted by quiet, perhaps enough for her to understand his will’s surrender.
a good man, but he was sure such impression only applied to how she viewed him. outside her curious mind, he wasn’t too convinced of his outright good qualities. and she probably still knew how effortlessly she could make any sense of vague determination crumble, lead him to give in far too easy for his weak-minded liking. it was what he got from the contentment sought by her company. the certain peace of troubled mind like a kindred spirit’s warm embrace. and all he could bring himself to do was stir muscles and form a nod, opposite of a previous movement accomplished by a lack of better choices of faulty intuition. “okay.” it was all he could say in the moment, body growing more heavy by the minute, like gravity sunk into a pit of despair to pull him underground. “okay.”
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