AmidtheChaoss

Samantha (29) So here is a life amid the chaos.

[amidthechaoss]

I think I might k*ll myself this year. I also might try really hard to live. At the moment the former is more in reach.

[weltenwellen]

Mary Oliver, “Wild Geese”

[cerleansky]

The legacies people leave behind in you.

My handwriting is the same style as the teacher’s who I had when I was nine. I’m now twenty one and he’s been dead eight years but my i’s still curve the same way as his.

I watched the last season of a TV show recently but I started it with my friend in high school. We haven’t spoken in four years.

I make lentil soup through the recipe my gran gave me.

I curl my hair the way my best friend showed me.

I learned to love books because my father loved them first.

How terrifying, how excruciatingly painful to acknowledge this. That I am a jigsaw puzzle of everyone I have briefly known and loved. I carry them on with me even if I don’t know it. How beautiful.

~Edit~

Yikes guys I didn’t expect this post to blow up.

I’m grateful it did though. Looking at all the comments and tags really takes a stab at my heart because it just shows how wired we are for connection. If life has any meaning, then it’s that.

This concept really sunk its teeth into me as it reassures the notion that no one is ever truly gone. Parts of them just change into you.

That teacher I talked about inspired me to become a teacher myself. This was my first year teaching. Here’s to a new generation of curved i’s.

[eatpussypraylove]

I love treating each stage of my life with care and respect even if I don’t like it at the time. So I can look back later and know I didn’t take it for granted. And refusing to be jealous of where others are at. It’s a self-respect thing

[365filmsbyauroranocte]

Blue Heron (Sophy Romvari, 2025)

[paper-wounds]

[365filmsbyauroranocte]

The Panic in Needle Park (Jerry Schatzberg, 1971)

[amidthechaoss]

You’re my girl❤️

[365filmsbyauroranocte]

Identificazione di una donna (Michelangelo Antonioni, 1982)

[banksalec]

[buttpoems]

[halogen2]

I THINK LOVE IS SOMETHING / THAT HAPPENS TO OTHER PEOPLE - Michael Gray Bulla

[amidthechaoss]

Fourth of June:

05:14

It seems even my Tumblr dashboard has become a lung for my doomscrolling, so I’m folding it into the silence of my social media hiatus too.

Day 4/120

[amidthechaoss]

I’m so sleepy, I am going to cherish this.

[amidthechaoss]

I can’t stand to read fiction that involves the 2019-2021 pandemic, I just can’t. I have been trying to get myself to read dream count but i can’t bring myself to get over the fact that she has chosen the pandemic to be one of the main experiences.

[blyejay]

[amidthechaoss]

Me. I can’t do things I halves. All or nothing and it’s such a ridiculous way to live.

[leastniceperson]

as soon as the internet decided depression and anxiety were the everyman mental illnesses and therefore not to be taken seriously we were all fucked tbh bc the fact that i have to feel embarrassed to admit i have debilitating anxiety because people will think im just an uwu dont call me out coward is ridiculous. its insane that i have to clarify that my depressive episodes are like life threatening and not whatever dipshit dumbed down idea of depression people seem to have like oh yeah i just wanna watch netflix and eat ice cream and not text people back. like bro i think im the devil

[leastniceperson]

like maybe depression and anxiety are household names now but they do still kill people. like. theres a reason they fucking kill people.

[amidthechaoss]

Monday morning.

06:51