Yeah. I've been thinking about this for a while but I didn't really wanna say it. But since I've come back into some sort of controlled reality for myself (no school, no work, no traveling, back in the states), I've made efforts to hang out with a lot of people and connect with some friends. All my old guy friends have been all for it - we've gone out, laughed, made some new inside jokes. But where've been my female friends? My old ride or die girlfriends back in Vegas? These girls all but nearly disappeared. The girls I used to call and talk to til 130 am .. Not even a "How've you been" text. So I decided to ask a few. "We good?" I'd ask them. "Yeah we're good I'll call you." Guess what? I get no call. "I guess we're not good," I say. They try to call but I don't pick up. So now I'm back in California. Same thing here. It's like I gotta be constantly in their face in order to remind them I'm still alive. And the moment I'm gone it's like I just butchered them and they no longer want to be friends. I dunno man. It's something I've been thinking about long and hard but I just don't know if I should blame myself for this or find new friends. AND THATS THE DAMN STRUGGLE CAUSE I ALWAYS HAVE TO BE THE ONE TO FIND NEW FRIENDS.
