My watch ticks. It’s a vintage Mickey Mouse one with a brown leather band. It belonged to my mother’s sister Amanda. My mom never talks about her, but her parents (when I see them) are happy to tell me stories about their eldest daughter and how much I remind them of her. They gave me the watch when I was little. Even my mother wasn’t ugly enough to take it away. Sometimes the steady ticking is all I can listen to when things get rough. I time my breathing to its rhythm: in three, out three, in three, out three.
As I calm down, I run through my mental list of contacts. Is there anywhere I can go tonight, anyone who’d take me on short notice? Lauren, maybe. But I don’t want to get her in trouble again after last time. And there’s no one else who’d risk making my mother angry. I wish Gemma had given me at least a day’s notice.
It’s getting later. People are calling back and forth outside: coming home from work, saying hi to their neighbors and kids. Bad news for me: the more people around, the more likely someone will notice me moving around in an empty apartment. Gemma’s is one of those fake-suburban neighborhoods, with big windows on the ground floor so you can pretend you live in a house. Nosy neighbors are part of the equation.
And Christina is waiting. She’ll expect me to come home on my own now that she’s shaken me out of my nest, but if I don’t show up she’ll definitely come looking for me. Despite the full-body shudder I feel at the thought of walking through her door again, the thought of being dragged through it is much worse.
I can almost hear her voice when I come in, see her carefully-lined eyes widening in false surprise. “Well, good evening, Hannah! What an unexpected pleasure. I thought you’d forgotten me.”
I finally shove the note into my backpack, wincing as I see my history book and remember the essay due tomorrow. It’s going to be a late night. I give myself a sniff, wondering if I’ve got time for a shower, but decide against it. Pulling my duffel bag from behind the couch, I open the drawers of the end table and start packing my few things.
Then I see that my favorite shoes, the royal blue Chucks I saved for three months to buy, are gone.
I breathe deeply, cursing Gemma, and try to calculate how long it will be before I can afford to escape from Christina for good.
gummygunk
theartofmadeline
vaporwave
stormborns
