Today I met six year old you in a doctors office
I wasn’t sure it was him until you put your head
on my shoulder and I felt you relax just a bit.
You haven’t been feeling well.
Life has been heavier than it should be in the first
It’s all just been shit circumstances.
So I lay my head down gently on yours before they
When I was a little kid my nurse of a mother drilled
into me and my sister how to explain to doctors
whatever it was we were feeling.
Mother wasn’t kind or gentle with her teachings
so we both learned quickly how to fend for
Sometimes I forget that your mom was so busy
trying to make sure you weren’t being left out
that she never realized you weren’t at the same
starting line to begin with.
She never prepared you to know how to
eventually she got you some help
But fourteen in neurodivergent years is an adult.
I watched you jump on the scale and you were
just a bright eyed little boy I see in the photos back
at your parents house when we visit.
you think that if you take yourself seriously
someone might see through the performance
you think you’ve perfected.
I didn’t wave goodbye when we walked away but
honestly I’m glad I got to see him.