m e r c u r y

“I never said I don’t leave my house. I go out plenty. And I know that Google can’t solve all of your problems. I’m just letting you know that for when it breaks your heart later in life.” Lewis put one thumb in his pocket, making a gentle pressure between his belt and his finger. “If you insult Betty White in my presence I’ll have to throw my collector’s edition of the Golden Girls at you.”

❝ Please, I don’t have a heart. Besides, I know Google can’t solve literally every problem. The world would be a lot less shitty if it could. Give me some credit here. It can just solve most of them. Jeez, someone’s touchy. You should meet my brother. He’s a gigantic loser. You’d like him, I bet. ❞

“Maybe the lack of blood flowing from your heart caused the lack of pigmentation in other parts of your body. Mainly your hair. Or you’re the best moisturized old man I’ve ever seen.” His eyes narrowed. “You just implied I’m a gigantic loser. Without any buffers or pretty language to cover it up. That stings. That really stings.”

infinityxpremades

#face of the devil;

“You either don’t get out enough, or go out too much. I can’t tell yet.” He crossed his arms. “It makes tons of difference when you’re on the other side of 1986, and being made fun of someone who is probably ten years younger than me, yet has the hair of Bette White. Or, Tommy. I suppose I should call you that. Lewis. Well, that’s me. I’m Lewis.”

❝ Compared to a guy who has to go to the library to use Google, I get out plenty. 1986 was…what, 30 years ago? Still old in my books. And Betty White could never pull off white hair as well as I do. I make this shit work. It’s part of my charm, Lewis. ❞

“I never said I don’t leave my house. I go out plenty. And I know that Google can’t solve all of your problems. I’m just letting you know that for when it breaks your heart later in life.” Lewis put one thumb in his pocket, making a gentle pressure between his belt and his finger. “If you insult Betty White in my presence I’ll have to throw my collector’s edition of the Golden Girls at you.”

mattbluebeauty

#face of the devil;

“Disco was developed in the early 70′s, but became mainstream during the mid 70′s, and it was more prevalent in the 80′s. The first Rocky movie came out in 1976. So, The 70′s music— wait, why am I explaining this to you, I wasn’t even born in the 70′s. I’m a detective, my anime haired friend, I do go to libraries. Often.”

❝ Yeah, yeah, but the 70′s and the 80′s were both around a century ago, so it doesn’t make much of a difference. A friend of mine’s a detective, but I can’t see her spending all day at a library– wait, ‘anime hair?’ Heh, that’s a new one, Mr. Google-less. My name’s Tommy, for the record. ❞

“You either don’t get out enough, or go out too much. I can’t tell yet.” He crossed his arms. “It makes tons of difference when you’re on the other side of 1986, and being made fun of someone who is probably ten years younger than me, yet has the hair of Bette White. Or, Tommy. I suppose I should call you that. Lewis. Well, that’s me. I’m Lewis.”

a-joyfuljourney

Tayler Golden

#cats in the cradle;

“Disco music was— okay, I’m… I’m not about to get into this with you, right now. But I’ll recommend reading a book to solve your lack of historical knowledge, my white haired friend. Listen, the internet is… not a necessity in everyone’s home. Alright?”

❝ Jesus, you don’t actually like 70′s disco crap, do you? And why read a book when I have Google? Next you’ll be telling me that people still go to libraries or some shit. Anyway. I thought people who still didn’t have access to the internet were myths. ❞

“Disco was developed in the early 70′s, but became mainstream during the mid 70′s, and it was more prevalent in the 80′s. The first Rocky movie came out in 1976. So, The 70′s music— wait, why am I explaining this to you, I wasn’t even born in the 70′s. I’m a detective, my anime haired friend, I do go to libraries. Often.”

“Well. They very well could’ve been, but there are children here.” He perked a brow. “I doubt a fight in an modern art gallery would make it worldwide. Unless you break the piece over someone’s head. Which, in some cases, may be a blessing in the name of art. Oh? No, I have posters. I mean, they’re outdated, sure, but who doesn’t love Rocky? Or A Clockwork Orange? Classics. Never out of style.”

invenina

“Art has no age limits.” Though, she does nod. “You’re probably right. I’ll make a scene somewhere else and just leave a bad review on Yelp for this place. And even the classics could use a little updating. Maybe put something from the 21st century, at least. Mean Girls? Scary Movie? Bring it On? Kangaroo Jack? All classics. Except for that last one.”

“In some scenarios it should.” Lewis shrugged. “I don’t think this warrants a bad review just because the art left a bad taste in your mouth. If they were grossly disturbing, triggering, or the staff was nasty, then, yes, that’d be bad review worthy. I’m also not going to ask was Yelp is.” He shoved his hands into his pockets, fiercely defensive of Rocky Balboa. “I refuse to put Mean Girls on my walls. I draw a line in the sand,” he pointed his foot and drew an imaginary line in the ground. “There. No Mean Girls. Or... Bring it On. I don’t even know what that is. Is that the dancing one or the cheer leading one?”

#invenina #v: main

“That movie did not— that movie is a classic. And all of it’s sequels. I— Anyway, I don’t have access to the internet at the moment, or, most of the time. His name was… something like Carl. Carl… something.”

❝ – And it was filmed back when people unironically listened to shitty disco music, which was about a century ago. Wait, you don’t have access to the internet? Jeez, that sucks. Who doesn’t have access to the internet? ❞

“Disco music was— okay, I’m... I’m not about to get into this with you, right now. But I’ll recommend reading a book to solve your lack of historical knowledge, my white haired friend. Listen, the internet is... not a necessity in everyone’s home. Alright?”

#out of a broken mind;#promo;#look at this loser #total loser and i don't know them at all

I DON’T HAVE FEELINGS.

unleashedjustice-blog

[8:46:45 PM] Gavin: i’M cAllING KAte’S SteP MothE R [8:47:38 PM] Gavin: i’M OUT OF THREATS I CAN’T CALL THE MILITARY OR THE POLICE SO [8:47:43 PM] Gavin: I’M CALLING HER STEP MOM

#out of a broken mind;#iwillsoldieron #skype convos

“How can you not know who played Apollo Creed? Come on, his name is on the tip of my tongue.”

❝ Dude, that movie came out, like, a century ago. How am I supposed to know? This is what Google’s for. ❞

#fastiisms #( ☿ v: main )#lewis 'you have to like what i like' sylem

“That movie did not— that movie is a classic. And all of it’s sequels. I— Anyway, I don’t have access to the internet at the moment, or, most of the time. His name was... something like Carl. Carl... something.”

“Sphynx cats. They’re the one’s that don’t have tails. Maybe it’s a Sphynx cat. Or maybe those are the oddly hairless ones. Maybe manx cats don’t have tails. Then what’s a Maine Coon? Never mind, I’m putting more thought into this than the actual artist did. But I don’t know, I quite liked the abstract lips piece. Truth is I’m not quite the art person, but I’ve been told art could spruce up my apartment. Also, you could get a refund, but the more likely outcome is that you’d get filmed, get carried out by security, and maybe be trending in small circles.”

invenina

“Those were lips? I thought it was an asshole.” Putting that away, though, she continues, “That’d be nice, trending again. Maybe I could fight somebody and make it worldwide this time. You should probably just buy a poster, by the way.”