Rantings Of An Exhausted Mommy

But first, coffee...

[amycurts]

David was a friend of mine for over 30 years, and I know his wife and kids can use all of the help they can get. Thank you. https://www.instagram.com/p/CjMEDYiP199/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[amycurts]

Happy 8th birthday, AbbyBaby!! https://www.instagram.com/p/CKT0M92ssWR/?igshid=ep9b07m8tlq9

[amycurts]

My little guy lost his first tooth! WTG WeeMan! #firsttoothlost #wheredidmybabygo (at Carmichael, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CJ9RWI4s57N/?igshid=1gtkauz5wwzfl

[amycurts]

Lockdown

My son’s school was on lockdown today due to a “local police situation.”

This is the second time in two weeks this has happened.

My son is also three-and-a-half years old and Autistic. Granted, he is in the high-functioning category, but he is still a three-and-a-half year old with Autism.

Can someone please explain to me this one thing: how are we supposed to keep those children who have poor impulse control, and routinely balk and vocalize loudly when forced into a new and unusual situation, quiet? Especially when there is a real and terrifying possibility that their lives will depend on them doing so?

We cannot even keep our traditionally developing children safe, so how in the world are we going to keep our most vulnerable ones protected?

I know for certain that the answer isn’t sticking my head in the sand and completely relying on someone else to keep my child, and other children, safe. Gun regulation is definitely one strong option. Additionally, some kind of positive action needs to be taken, whether it be additional education for parents and educators as to what to watch for in both the behaviors of their children, as well as those who enter their homes and campuses, or local law enforcement seeing and responding to possible threats in a timely manner.

There are people who I know, some very well, who may not agree with some of what I’ve stated above. All I have to say to that is this: no matter what, something needs to be done. Now.

[amycurts]

My 5yo took these with her iPad. I’m impressed! She has a better eye than I do! #parenting #mykidthephotographer

[amycurts]

Abby earned a ribbon during her swim class. She jumped in, turned around, and swam back to the side all by herself! #waterbaby #proudmommy (at Steve Wallen Swim School)

[amycurts]

Coffee is Life

I have discovered that a mommy of two (or more) cannot survive without that percolated goodness that is the nectar of the gods: Coffee. Being a full-time student, full-time mommy of two (a toddler and an infant), as well as a wife, I have come to realize that without that brewed awesomeness, life would not be able to happen.

[amycurts]

Pity Parties Suck

After reviewing my previous two posts, I have realized that pity parties are dull and no one wants to listen to a whiner. Yes, my husband is driving me batshit, but he is a good man who loves his family. I don't hate my life (totally), especially since I have two amazing kids, and a husband that I love. I need to appreciate what I have, and remember that the grass is always greener. Now, I'm off to clean up my toddler, give her a bath, and have a good cuddle before bedtime.

[amycurts]

Two Under Two

I am finding myself resenting, bordering on hating, my husband right now. I feel that he is becoming my third child, and I just want to punch him in the face. I am so exhausted being the only parent to handle the feedings, baths, and meltdowns that happen when you have two children under two. If I have errands to run, he acts like he's doing me a favor by watching our babies for any length of time. He explodes at our toddler for being a toddler (i.e. the Shriek of the Terrible Twos), and he cannot seem to understand that a newborn is going to spit up, poop, and cry. How the fuck did I get stuck being a single parent who is actually married?

[amycurts]

My Current Life

I have come to the realization, after yet another sleepless night, that I hate my life. I have so many regrets about the things that I have done, and about the things I will not be able to do. I am trapped in my current life, longing for something different, but finding that it is impossible to change my situation. Fate has dealt me a folding hand that I am forced to play out. The regret of what could have been is eating me alive, yet I have no one to blame but myself.

[amycurts]

Normalicy

I've recently (as of this evening, actually) come to the spirit-breaking realization that I am boring. I am completely normal, with no special "quirk" or "talent" that distinguishes me from anyone else. I am not as intelligent as most of the people that I call my friends, and I have no special artistic talent. I enjoy reading books that are termed "brain candy", since it takes very little thought to process them. I suppose that my reading choices are a reflection of who I actually am: I am a person who has very little substance. I see all of these people around me that are overcoming incredible trials and tribulations, and I am in awe. I am in awe of these people because I know that if I was ever placed in that type of situation, I would fail. Not just fail, mind you, but the resulting crash-and-burn would make the Hindenburg look like a child's sparkler (too soon?). I see all of these people that I admire, and envy, and I wonder where I went wrong. Did I actually go wrong at some point, or am I really not as smart/geeky/dorky as I had originally thought? Is everything that I ever prided myself on just an illusion that I created to try and accept how normal I actually am? Am I really that pathetic? Goodness, I hope not...