My heart is beating rhythms I’ve never heard of
From places I’ve never been,
The sky turns black, the land is green,
And I scream into rain so heavy
It sounds like the world is ending.
I’ve been lending bits of my heart to strangers,
Ever since I decided to see
What kindness turned out to be,
And I’m not really sure
That I am all that into it.
Not heart-part deep.
I can’t sleep because of the aching
Left in me from all the debts
I left uncollected,
All the disrespected, vivisected,
Segments of my heart,
That I pressed into the palms
Of others whilst saying:
“Take a part of me into the sunset,
And let it fuel your dreams.”
The rain streams down my fragmented face,
Trying to chase the remnants of an age old
Game of connect the dots on my skin.
It is amazing how much
You can feel like drowning,
If you turn your face up to the rain.
The pain cannot be washed away,
But the cold numbs it a little,
As I try and discover
What parts of me are left.
But today I made a different discovery,
Someone gave part of their heart to me,
And I don’t know how it happened,
But it fitted, slotted into place
Next to the red rock face
Of my left ventricle,
Trying to fill the hole
I made for the strangers I saw,
Blood raw and aching,
Making me feel like I had no need for rain
As it said to me through the pain,
In a voice I could not pinpoint,
But that I know I will never forget,
“Take me into the sunset,
And let me fuel your dreams.”
And it seems to me that, maybe,
This heart-part deep kindness
Is worth sharing.
That caring for each other
Is what makes the weather
Into something that cannot quite drown us,
And I learnt today that a single favour received
More than makes up for the many you give away,
So I say, to all of you,
If your life is the worst you can get,
Or if that’s just how it seems,
Take this part of me into the sunset,
And let it fuel your dreams.
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