Vector Perkins Romantic headcannons <3
this post is extremely self indulgent. I apologize. 🧡
First off, I feel like he'd be a completely oblivious person when someone flirts with him. I mean, it depends what the flirt is, but most of the time he'd have a difficult time picking it up.
And, um. If you are flirting with him, and he catches it, he might think you're messing with him. I mean, yeah, he's awesome, and the coolest villain, like, ever... But, he's also a complete nerd.
He doesn't have any friends, and the last time he tried to make a friend, the guy froze his head and sent him to the moon! (To be fair, he was sort of at fault for it, but, He started it!!!)
But, if you were flirting with him genuinely, I think he'd get all flustered by the idea of someone actually liking him. He'd get all giddy, and dorky, and immediately want to be your friend.
Yeah, he'd ask to be your friend when you're first flirting. He's a dork, he'll get with you though, once he realizes that's an option he can take.
... When he does get with you, he's a complete idiot of a partner. He's an idiot, and he's rich. These two things are horrible together. In a good way! I promise!
He's the type of partner to play video games a lot when you're over. You'd have to pry him off that Wii, if you wanted his attention. But, when he is pried away from it, he would be eccentric to spend time with you. He has TONS of favorite things to do! And he's got money to spend. His dad's money, mostly, but you know.
I've always thought this, but I think his ideal date would be the beach. A nice vacation, walk along the ocean line, collect sand dollars and see if you can see any fish.
He'd make a giant sand castle, I'm talking, abnormally large. He'd upgrade it with high tech security, too. He'd call it his fort away from his fortress. It would, somehow, be a fully functional castle with technology equipped.
He might rent a boat, so you both can go out to sea and 'sea' some sharks. "Not Dolphins", he'd emphasize. "sharks... Dolphins are evil. And - And not the COOL evil, like me. UNCOOL evil."
If you didn't want to go with him to the beach, he'd take you to an aquarium, or villain con, if villain con is going on. He'd buy tons and tons of shark merchandise, and probably leave the aquarium with way more than his hands can handle. Somehow, he's carrying it all, though. Same thing would happen at villain con... only with villain merch.
I feel like if a disco song came on in a public area, wherever it may be, he'd ask you to dance with him, and then start dancing like an IDIOT. Social Anxiety is afraid of him. You both could be in the smack middle of a convenience store, and he'd still start grooving. It would cause people to stop, and stare. Maybe giggle.
No one said dating him would be easy for your ego or public image...
I don't think he'd be big on PDA, but, he wouldn't be opposed to it if you initiated or wanted it. He just doesn't do it himself.
I think one of his love-languages would be gift giving, or quality time. He likes to talk his head off, and he's rich. He'd buy you expensive things you might like, like merchandise for your favorite anime, game, movie, etc.
... When in doubt, feed him. If you don't know what to give him back, you can order him a pizza, or buy some cookies, or just buy him a simple order from a fast food joint. He'll be so happy. He's a simple man. And a snacker. He loves his snacks, the dork.
You secretly order a pizza, and he finds out when it arrives at the door to his fortress and his security system almost shoots the pizza delivery man. You'd have to apologize and tip the man extra for even delivering to such a dangerous doorstep. But Vector would be happy.
Simple relax days with him when you're not going out on dates would include watching him play his video games, lounging on the couch... Talking about marine biology... And, weirdly enough, maybe math.
And, if he feels like it, he might rant a little about how mad he is about Gru sending him to the moon. Or how scary it was...
You guys might fall asleep on the couch together watching some animal planet documentary about marine life.
Living with him would simply feel good. His home is pearly white, deep cleaned and shiny. His fortress probably has no pests, and he probably dusts regularly... Especially if you had an allergy. I mean, the occasional couch change and lint might happen, but for the most part, his place is really clean.
But, you'd have to get used to wiping yourself with the letter V, because the toilet paper, and towel has his logo on it. (I'm... not kidding. It does in the movie.)
He probably has a decent schedule... Weirdly enough, I see him as the extremely organized type. Sleep time at a very specific time, like 10:30 PM. Wakes up really early, like at 8 AM.
He doesn't really... Do anything to NEED this schedule, he just likes to abide by it. if you kept him up too late he'd get lightly mad at you and scold you for keeping him up. Same for if you woke him up too early. He gets bothered when his schedule is messed up.
I like to think he's actually a diagnosed autistic person, so this would be part of the reason he's so specific.
He'd smell really nice after each shower he takes... Probably like some sort of citrus themed shampoo. It would be really nice to get ready to rest with him, and he just came out of the shower, and he smells like fresh oranges.
I think he'd be really comfortable to lay on, too... His chest is comfy to rest your head on, and while he plays the wii, you can lay on him and feel his breathing. You might even fall asleep to the soft sounds of his TV and gaming, with occasional little quips from him when he wins or loses a match.
If he noticed you were falling asleep, he'd turn the TV volume down a bit, and quiet down his quips... He wouldn't stop them, he'd just whisper them. It would be cute to overhear him whisper a soft, 'Yes!' when he wins a round, considerate to you trying to rest on him. He's such a sweet dork.
He'd probably use really corny math pickup lines on you, and he'd flirt really nerdy like. It's really silly, and kind of embarrassing, but in an endearing way.
If he found out something that flustered you in specific, oh, he would drill it into the ground with how much he'd use it.
But, he'd use it sparingly.
He'd wait for the perfect moments to use it.
Oh, he's not big on PDA, but he is big on grand gestures. If it was your anniversary, or your birthday, he'd do something big.
I'm talking, getting fireworks, decorating the fortress, maybe even trying to contact your favorite band to get a personal ticket to one of their concerts front row.
NOBODY. I mean, NOBODY is going to not-know you two are dating, by the time he's done with you. He'll make it, very clear. Even if you wanted to hide the relationship.
He's just... Way too happy to be with you to pass up holding you like he held the moon. A prize of all prizes. His beautiful trophy.
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