Growing up to be her.. ❤

[an-epiphany-blog1]

For all that I am

There is so much more

If only I was less afraid

To catch my eyes in the mirror

[somewordsarebiggerthanothers]

[storiesinthecupboard]

Reality

I create distant memories so that I shine like a star Elaborate scenarios that make sense, but then again, they don't, who am I to open any doors? I can't even tie my laces, let alone change the door knob to save my life

I envision make-believe scenes they inhabit the space between here and there They creep into my mind, like a beautiful plague that infests me and guides me I'm a puppet on a string, on a stage, in the dark, but I don't have any scripts nor time to write proper ones

I dream about a world where my footsteps leave me out and leave no stains on the ground I'm tired of cleaning, rearranging, polishing my hundred-piece set of cutlery that I never really use, but I open the broom closet again and again

Who am I to alter the reality?

[an-epiphany-blog1]

"Alone in a crowd" is such an overused phrase these days where everyone has a ton of people yet no one really feels like they belong.

What have we made this place to be? How have we become so callous with basic human connections? Where do we find peace?

[an-epiphany-blog1]

Chasing the phantoms of asylum... 🌸🌈

[an-epiphany-blog1]

Everyone wanting to look out the same window to see the same thing... would make the other windows quite trivial even if held a more beautiful scenery....

[an-epiphany-blog1]

Falling in love a Lil bit more... with me. Through all thick and thin. Come sunshine or rain.

Being the silver lining.

[an-epiphany-blog1]

Coming back on tumbler 100% all over again because Taylor inspired me....

Also because Instagram was taking over my life and I was hating it.... 🙈

[an-epiphany-blog1]

Walking down pretty roads, in pretty shoes and eventually a pretty mindset.. ..

Lately I have gotten a conscious obsession of taking pictures of all roads I walk through and stop at... lately I have gotten a conscious obsession of stopping to notice and see and hear and smell and take pictures of all pretty little things...

Lately I've been trying to a live a life of more sound and less noise....more sunlight and less shadows....more wind in my hair and less circles under my eyes...

Lately... I'm walking towards a better life, a better state of mind, a sound heart and a wholesome smile. Lately I'm more aware of God being kind.

Lately I'm more in love with idea of a happy life.

[an-epiphany-blog1]

Forever counting on the wind, the sand, the salty air and the sound of mad waves to bring smile on my face.

[pugzman3]

Take time to show appreciation.

[an-epiphany-blog1]

A cup of tea, a plate of cookies, an old friend, some cozy and aesthatic interiors,

I can live for such Saturdays even if I have to slog my way through the week. Perhaps a year ago this would have been a rant session label or something much distressed. Today I'm counting my blessings, lending a ear and breathing thy life in...

.

.

My happy place

[imissmissingyou]

You’re allowed to cry. It mattered. It wouldn’t hurt this much if it didn’t matter.

11:44 p.m. (via imissmissingyou)

And don't feel ashamed of accepting this...

[kiramartinauthor]

If you ever feel like giving up on your writing, just remind yourself of all the times you inflicted half coherent rants onto your friends. Don’t make their sacrifice worthless

[etchpea]

[ethiopienne]

COLLEGE

[mandopony]

GROWING UP

[reprimandtheirdaughters]

KILLING SPIDERS

[halfgay-halfdeaf]

FINALS

[allonsy221b]

PHONE CALLS

[goatatemynametag]

ADULT LIFE IN GENERAL

[an-epiphany-blog1]

Everyday...

[an-epiphany-blog1]

High school, college are all times when everyone is emotionally unstable, whether they admit it or not. We all crave for so much more without giving or we give a lot more without forgetting. Whatever the case expectations run wild and reality is undermined.... You might be friends for 10 or 2 years or for that matter just a couple of months or just whatever and have gotten really close and comfortable. Or if not the number, it could be matching wavelengths and have this certain very easy level of understanding...... Whatever we find with that "friend", we expect it to remain forever. Now the problem with forever is that no one knows how long exactly forever is. Forever has its own versions you know, forever till we can handle each other, forever till we speak daily, forever till this, forever till that...so on and so forth...... Forever. And its always their responsibility, you know. we can change, be rude, talk crazy and they should get what we mean. And they cant change or opinionate for that matter. But i think its time for a reality check. Such a friend or friendship doesn't exist. the only person who can get you, your mood swings, your reasons and all your absolute crap is just "you"!!! Well for obvious reasons! So why don't we all learn to be our friend first? That way we become more self-sufficient, more independent and when we stop expecting other people to be there and do things life becomes a lot more easier...... don't you think? That does not mean we dont have best friends or that "squad" of ours. When we befriend ourselves the whole process of friendship with other individuals becomes a lot more easier. The measure of forever becomes longer. We learn to accept people for who they are and learn to love them despite everything else. The entire picture becomes more beautiful. Compromise becomes a lot more healing than wounding which brings about a certain kind of warmth around us in our lives. Well time for another reality check here...... All of the above mentioned does not mean you wont lose friends. Of course you will. There is always a best friend who becomes a stranger. And that is because people grow up, grow up to become different adults, with changed perspectives and a whole new view of the world; which of course is initiated by a lot of factors that are beyond our control. Sometimes the timings are just bad and in short we just drift apart and trying to not do so become pointless or fruitless. But whatever the case it is completely alright as their role in our life is over. Its as simple as that. Or its vice versa...... David Bekham has put it best saying " If you aren't losing friends, you aren't growing up" just some things to think about and forgive some people who happened. until next time bbyeeeeeeee......... :)

[an-epiphany-blog1]

for once lets get inspired for real...

Follow your dreams. Live your life. Listen to your heart…….

I hear that on a daily basis or at least read some quote or inspirational what-ever-the-hell-things on some or the other social networking site. It’s so nice right? I definitely feel nice when someone says do what your heart says, don’t bother what others are gonna say, it’s your life.

But what about after that possible 60 seconds of self-empowerment?  I almost instantly go back to worrying if my favorite jeans and tees match!

WEIRD!!!!!!

So which of the two is wrong? Listening to my heart and living the life that I think belongs to me or these “inspirational” quotes?

And is it fine that I alone believe in that? What good would that do if the people around me are always reminding me of what I am supposed to do and not supposed to do just because some others are watching? I mean I have gotten some serious advices from people like don’t wear things that other people don’t like, don’t have more guy friends than girls, avoid being seen in the public with guys even if they are your friends, dont eat so much in the public, don’t drink whats not meant for, don’t go here, don’t take that….etc etc etc…. wait are they advices? They sound more like commands to me!

And what if I listen to all this? Then do I have any say at all in my life? I don’t think so.

And as far as I have understood the society that we live in is going to judge you no matter what you do.  Whether you swing this way or that everyone has an opinion, everyone has to make a point. Be it a girl or a boy and more so if you are girl. Let’s admit it. As sexist as that comment might sound that is a fact.  Girls are expected to be in a certain way, learn certain things and be the ideal woman. And if she isn’t that then what the society and sometimes even the family makes that poor thing go through is just sad and ruthless. That is something I would like to talk about someday… but now its something else.

Now sadly amongst all the self-pity and remorse what I often forget to see is that all these people who put an assumed label on your character visibly does not give two flying shits about you and neither do they know you at all for that matter. And I go worrying about what someone who doesn’t even know my second name has to say about me. How does that even make sense?

At the end of the day its us who have to live our life. We  are accountable to ourselves when we do something against our own desire. Just as its important to have certain values in life its important to know what we live for! Its okay if what I believe in isn’t what the majority agrees to. Its okay if what I do or think is opposed by everyone even my near and dear ones. Its okay if what im doing is wrong. The fact remains that those are MY values, MY decisions and MY mistakes. At least I wont be falling prey to someone else’s mistake and wondering how it would have been if I had listen to myself. I know all this is easier said than done and even so when the opposing forces are as strong as your parents. But the fact remains that its your life. No one else’s.

Our actions define us. And they come from our faith in ourselves. When we don’t trust ourselves we tend to regret and that is as far as I know the worst feeling ever. For me its worse than heart break or jealousy or loath or anything.

Regret is the real pain, the pain we inflict upon ourselves, a crime that will leave a mark, a mark that makes it unforgettable and more so unforgivable…..