head in the clouds

Thoughts and confessions from an infp.

[an-infp-mess]

Feeling a lil lonely but also don’t want to be perceived by the world.

[certainpredispositions]

Visit Original Link

start talking again when i know what to say

[popsunner]

You know what the second I stopped saying “I wish I had a friend who-“ and started being “the friend who-“ my life has gotten 100% more fulfilling

[popsunner]

No legitimately. I have a tea table in my room for when friends can come over again. Most of my friends have a key to the back door in my room. I make my friends sweaters and buy things they mention they want. I send handwritten letters in the mail to my friend who lives a block away. I annotate poetry books and give them as gifts when it’s not even a holiday. I keep extra gloves in my purse and jackets in my car.

I’m not trying to be like “ohoho look at me I’m such a good friend”, I’m saying the second I stopped going “I wish I had friends who would invite me to tea parties” and just. hosted the tea parties myself? I still got to do the thing. I still got to see my friends. I still got to be happy with them.

I don’t think it’s about who does it, I think it’s just the genuine act of caring for people, and giving a little light to the environments you’re in.

[popsunner]

Okay. Apparently I’m not done talking about this.

It’s a lot of energy, I get that. Especially if you’re putting in all this effort, but not getting any back.

But I think that’s the reason no one does it. I mean we’re so worried we’ll start doing all these things and our friends won’t like it or won’t be into it, so we just don’t.

Only last week my friend messaged me, asking if I wanted to go stargazing with her. When I forget about our weekly virtual tea party, another friend called me to ask if I wanted them to host it this week.

I’ve been invited on hikes and picnics and pie making competitions over zoom, and it all sort of started with me going out of my way to be “that friend”.

I genuinely believe that the easiest answer to “how do I get friends like that?” Is to be one. In most cases, everyone else just follows by example, because they aren’t worried they’ll be wasting time and energy anymore.

[an-infp-mess]

My favourite kind of song to listen to is the kind which acknowledges that yeah life is hard and you’re sad, but it’s ok, listen to this bop of a tune and dance around your room and have a fun time.

[academiquewilde-deactivated2021]

You made it to the end of this year and I am proud of you. Don't be so hard on yourself, please.

[eearth-deactivated20180601]

I love being alone in my room, I love not having to be a person

[an-infp-mess]

When I was a child, I thought I would become a completely different person when I grew older. I didn’t realise that I’d still carry the same memories, the same fears, the same personality with me. 

[withlovewithsqualor-deactivated]

Might fuck around and accept the things I cannot change

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

Tips for Improving your Self -Esteem

The following suggestions may be helpful for a person who finds that they are struggling with low self-esteem:

1. It starts with a decision to be your own person. Don’t live your life to please, or impress, others.

2. Try to grasp the fact we have different goals and values … And don’t be swayed by people who criticise your dreams.

3. Don’t compare your journey to someone else’s journey as we start from different places and face different challenges.

4. Be kind, understanding and patient with yourself. Accept mistakes and failures are part of all our lives. Also, choose to frame mistakes as learning opportunities.

5. You need to root for yourself, and seek to be your own best friend. Don’t put yourself down – in public, or when you’re alone.

6. Remind yourself a weakness can become a strength in time. It takes patience and effort – but eventually things change.

7. Make a list of what you’re good at, and keep adding to the list. Also, note the strengths that others see, and comment on, as well.

8. Treat yourself with respect and praise the things that you do

9. Find ways to dissipate and channel negative emotions. Don’t allow them to dictate the way you start to see yourself.

10. Spend time with those who like you, and can see your worth and value. Ignore those who attack you, and would like to see you fail.

11. Choose to stand up for yourself, and value being more assertive. Also, set and then enforce appropriate, healthy boundaries.

12. Admit your mistakes - then learn to laugh at yourself. It helps remove the pressure and the stress of “being perfect”.

[an-infp-mess]

I love the idea of ‘unconventional’ beauty more than anything. I love seeing women with hairy legs or shaved heads or unapologetic flat chests. But when it comes to myself, I can’t completely let go of the need to be accepted. I wish I could be at peace with myself enough to not apologise. 

[starlitewhisper-blog-deactivate]

How to get back to being a healthy INFP

1. Spend several days alone with minimal contact with people

2. Listen to music that first matches your mood then gets progressively more positive or energetic.

3. Exercise. Preferably walking because appreciating nature helps.

4. Do something spontaneous with just yourself. Example: walk to the nearest library, music store, movie theater, used bookstore and spend time there.

5. Think about other peoples patterns. Slowly involve yourself with people again.

6. Plan something fun. As a P it can be stressful sometimes to leave all the planning to the Js.

7. Pick up a new hobby or do an old hobby you forgot about.

8. Dress up and look good while with friends.

9. Read or listen to something that makes you more self-aware aka, have a good cry.

10. Find the joy in each day.

[an-infp-mess]

Lonesome means a state of being apart. Of being other. Alone-some. Adam was not always alone, but he was always lonesome.

Maggie Stiefvater, Blue Lily, Lily Blue

[an-infp-mess]

Do any other infps have an issue with cutting themselves too much slack?

[an-infp-mess]

Whenever I interact with a person who is just as socially awkward as me it's so exhausting and awkward, but at the same time I feel this deep comradery.

[an-infp-mess]

There’s no in-between, I’m either lying in bed eating chips at midday or furiously writing to-do lists and acting out a ‘picking-up-the-pieces-and-getting-my-life-back-together’ movie montage. My productivity is based entirely on how inspired I am, it’s kind of a mess. 

[an-infp-mess]

I hold a lot of shame in my heart.

[an-infp-mess]

i want a best friend that i can talk to everyday