An-jae

[an-jae]

LONE TIME MADNESS....

Every time I sit over to breathe, I choke.

Every time I sit over to relax, I loathe.

I sit with myself to think, I’m anxious.

The closet locks me in with the thoughts vicious.

Every time I sit over to write, I tremble.

Every time I hold the pen, I’m feeble.

As I sit open myself to freshness, I’m vulnerable.

The bygones are uncooperative so I crumble.

Every time I sit over to ease, I’m displeased.

Every time I follow the flow, I’m beaten.

As I sit to push aside the stress, it’s their home.

Above there, it’s their land and I’m a refugee alone.

Every time I sit over to let it out, I’m brimming.

Every time I sit over to let it in, I’m bleeding.

Memories are fleeting, they are good ones.

Memories are inflicting, they are tiring runs.

Every time I sit over to dream, it’s nightmarish.

Every time I sit over to pray, I just overthink.

Overdoing creates blunder; the art of anxiety is composed.

Tears dilute blood; the salt makes me sore.

LOVE, LIFE, PEACE,HOPE,FAITH.......

[an-jae]

[thoughtkick]

“Never wish them pain. That’s not who you are. If they caused you pain they must have pain inside. Wish them healing.”

— Najwa Zebian

[thoughtkick]

“It is difficult to demand change in our world, when we demand no change in ourselves.”

— Terry Crouson

[thoughtkick]

“Don’t turn people into your home, or you’ll end up homeless.”

— Unknown

[an-jae]

Types of people in winters:

1) Knitters : These people are the ones who love knitting. Rest of all the seasons, they ever do anything is knitting. They spent all their money on buying wools, kneels, threads and all colours and styles. They watch tutorials to learn more and keep doing what they love to do. They are the ones who wears the most number of sweaters. They wear their work even in the slightest cold. They not only make sweaters for themselves but for everyone around them. Thanks to them that we get through the winters. Generally they are Golden Agers who don't have any office to attend.

2) The Bed- Riddens; Those ones are the feeble creatures who immerse in bed during winter. They catch up cold, cough, fever and all other as soon as the snow strikes . Their immune system is just non- resistant to handle cold. They stay in the blankets holding warm cup of coffee or soup when others play around with snowman. It's not that they don't want to but they just can't . It's very unfortunate for them but no one can help either. They are the unlucky ones who just look at people enjoying but can't do the same.

3) Sloths in blankets: They are the ones who are still not done with the summer. They have carried the warmth into winters where they love wearing their blankets than going out and enjoying the snow. They rarely take their woollen clads off. They stay back, affix on their beds or sofas and stick to the TV shows. They may workout some chores in house or bake hot cookies and cakes to enjoy while watching TV but they forbid themselves to go out in cold that they can't bear. They are lazy, clumsy and surely not ice- resistant.

4) Sportifiers: These beings never forget to enjoy the ice and snow. They forget to eat,sleep, study and work but never to make snowman and ski around. They thoroughly enjoy themselves without being much moved by the cold. Their joy is to swim in the ice even they freeze. You may see then enjoying sizzling hot delicacies or might appear at times to lick about ice creams. Fever or illness can't stop them; they are braver than that. They drive about to stadiums and locations to enjoy skiing, skating, ice hockey and more. Winters are their days.

[an-jae]

Different people during different seasons: Part-1.

Types of people during summer:

1. The Lovers: They are the ones who love summer. They love the sun, getting tanned, the beach and the warmth around. They are the ones to reside on the beach to get tanned. They love the sun even when they get sunburns. They waited for it all through the year with their minis, tees and shorts. Not only that, ice-creams, cold drinks, chilled beers and long drives also make it the list. These people are so excited that they prepare their plans during the rest of the seasons like what to shop, where to go, about the beach and trips. They are generally bright, positive, moody and fun.

2.The screeners: This is a rare and weird type where the people are obsessed with the sunscreens. They use the sunscreens always not only in summer, which is a good habit. Their obsession for the creams works the best during summer. Putting on the cream and hanging out is what they love to do. But might have the same adoration for tanning or sun. But they just love putting on a sunscreens every now and then. It's a must in their bagpack. And they are useful to seek advice from about the creams. They know every thing about it, be it brand, skin type, price or what not.

3. The hidden gems: These are creatures that reserve their spots to hide during summer. They don't believe in Sun, brightness, light, tanning or sunscreens either. They don't believe on the cream manufacturers nor their skin to handle the heat. They prefer a closer space with AC on and the best of chilled drinks. There isn't much about them because they don't do much. They spend all their vacations away from the light and resting in the cool air from their AC or coolers. They also enjoy showering but never going out. They can lie in the bathtub for hours even when their skin wrinkles.

4. The nightwalkers: These people love summer after the sun goes down. They may not enjoy the day much but in the evening, it's lit. They go on long drives, have parties, drinks and dance. The coolness of the night and the heat of the season results in the perfect balance for their body. They may enjoy tanning once in a while. But hangouts on the beach and streets is the best towards the evening when the chills try to suppress the heat but the other one doesn't give up too. They basically stay up at nights so spend most their days in dreams only AKA sober slumbers.

5. OnGoers: These entities have got nothing to do with the seasons. They are the ones who don't enjoy ,neither dislike the summer. They have their jobs that are so rigid that they hardly get time to sit and feel the weather. These are the soldiers, officers, frontline workers and homemakers. They can't take a day off because they are responsible for families and societies. Whether it's fire or ice , they've still got to ignore it and continue their work. Shout-out to them for their selfless service and sacrifices.

Who doesn't like summer!!!! It's just the reaction which varies.........

[thoughtkick]

“Rejection is the reason why people deny their true feelings.”

— Unknown

[an-jae]

When we met

That moment I still

Never fail to cherish.

I still remember

That you were different from that

Around you like unreal.

But now that the time

Is still fresh and I'm not over it .

I dunno how to say.....

That baby, Everytime I had

With you were my perfections

That I still fall in love with.

Baby, Every single time that

You stared at me, my breathe

Just stopped and that I fell

Even deeper....

You were everything for me

And ever will be.....

I know it's heartbreaking

That now it's time to admit

All that's perfect for you

Is just not me.......

When all the times

I said I'd stand by you

I never thought to left.

I still admire all your touch

On my skin or on my heart.... Goodness!!!

But now the time I still

Have I hope you understand all

That I've to say....

Baby Every word that I had ever said

To you was all that I meant.

Baby Every single scar that may

Stay on your body but

They bleed through me.

You were everything for me

And ever will be ......

I know it's killing

But it's time to admit that

We're tired and you're not

Meant for me.......

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a friend of mine who had to leave a girl because their relationship didn't turn out great. The girl blamed him for all the promises he made and left like nothing existed. Even his own bff stopped talking to him because he left that girl. That girl gave all that she could but was given up at the end. It's what everyone thinks but that guy had tried; tried harder than he could. Their relationship had turned toxic and he was stressed out. The love might had been real but then if it's not making you feel whole and happy then it's better to leave it off. Not everything you love is meant to stay with you. Cherish the memories you have. Don't stretch it so far that you will end up regretting only. If it's toxic it's better to abandon if even it's love. You're not perfect so don't blame yourself to be. If it's not working then don't invest until you see bankrupt.

#forbiddenpersona....

[a-moonlit-poet]

Some nights, the wolf inside of me shrinks to nothing, she bares her teeth and runs away.

The dragon in my chest rejects me, she is so tired of being slain.

There are nights when the lioness cowers, says she can't fight it other days...

And I sit there helpless. Feeling alone again.

"What about the Phoenix?" I whisper.

She sits with me in the darkness and says, "We will rise. Just you wait..."

[a-moonlit-poet]

Four Years...

Time passes.

People change.

But why don't these feelings

Go away?

Am I still the same?

Or did you change?

Cause some unsaid things

still remain.

We did smile

But our eyes talked different.

We still believe,

That we are happy without one another.

We both are incomplete,

But we refuse to believe.

Thinking, we will heal

But will never succeed.

I wish, you could forgive me.

I wish, I could ask for forgiveness.

But nothing can make

The dead Star of our story

Shine again.

[an-jae]

Feeling it......... ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ It was very relatable......

[an-jae]

Types of reactions to new music videos.

Everytime a new mv releases its all of our buddies hyping up and prepping up to tune to it. It may be our favourite artist or any new one or not, we are always eager to listen the new releases. But it's after the release, when the balloon bursts allowing a set of different reactions to the same content. So let's try to list out these types of reactions to a new mv.

1. Stans: These are crazy fans who lose their mind on the release of a new mv of their faves. They always keep up with their music and they are one of the firsts to always buy their albums. They don't just listen to their songs, they live it. They mediate to each lyric and don't just ever dare to interrupt them. When they listen to music, they just sink into it and if you dare to disturb them then they will drown you to death. Their calls are obvious on your phone informing you about new releases. They publicize and promote their artists more than the artists themselves. And after the very day, the only song you hear them sing or play in car, at party , or anywhere is only the new one. They are freaking dedicated and they are pure Stans.

2. Neutrals or Random scrollers: These are not stans or haters. They are just random people scrolling randomly through videos to not be bored. Then they find the new thing that they don't disapprove but not appreciate either. They just want stuff to watch and not sit idlely . Their reaction is even neutral. Firstly they don't immerse into the video at once only. It takes them a few times to watch and realise the content. Then that's when they react after wards. So their first reaction is always neutral. They don't like the video or dislike it. Either they become a Stan or a hater that happens later . They are even the ones who most probably don't know who they are watching. They are the ones who Google about what they watched to realise the existence of different famous people aka celebrities.

3. Haters: They are the ones to check out the videos just to write hate comments. They don't like the artist, they arenot excited about their music . Why do they even check out the videos? This is a very unpleasant category wher people just wanna write mean things. These guys need to understand that when you hate someone , you are supposed to stay away and avoid them, not to prickle them. But they are just mean peoe who love to spread hate and betrayal. You may not support them but it's not like you should discourage them. You maybe critic but not an Enemy.

4. Commenters:They are the ones who have got no concern with the artist, the topic , the issue or anything. All they have to do is believe be that their opinion is of utter importance for all the vloggers or every being on the earth. They watch the video to extend their unwanted opinions about the thing. No one wants to hear in their critique, no one gives a shit about they think, no one is interested at all. There are the ones who just want to object the background, tunes , the costume or everything. They point out the minute details for freaking vain. No one's working out the problems they pinpointed. They can point out the things that arenot even a problem at all. Their addiction or obsession for commentary can go beyond all extends. Because they won't just shut up. Their mouth is never close, they are just never tired. They can obviously be irritating at times because unnecessary advices are very unwelcomed and unrecieved.

5. Sadist: This is not so common type of people seen. They are usually the ones who are hypersensitive and most cliché reason is they broke up and are way more than just upset. Their behaviour is understandable to a certain extend. But the same sadist reaction to every song is definitely awkward. They won't hesitate to cry even on party peppy singles. Like yeah, you guys have broke up but your obsession with breakup is an headache. Every love, party , rap, rock, classic even explicit songs can even make them tear up. They believe to remember the things with their past love what the song says. This is surely the most immature category and sometimes too melodramatic.

6. Detached: This is a type which may not be counted as a type either. Because their presence is same as their absence. These are not humans , they have no emotions and no expressions. You can play a pop, rock, jazz, classic, rap or anything but they'd continue to remain cold as they always are . But they believe their best reaction is that detached one only. They are the worst person to ask for advices when it comes to songs because they hardly know any. Not a single hair on their skin moves when there's even Beyonce's playing. Either they are not humans or they are surely not humans.

Do lemme know if I missed out any type.

#forbiddenpersona.........

[an-jae]

TYPES OF HAIR:

Hair constitutes a major part of our looks. It's always incomplete to go out without even light strokes on your hair. Many of us reading it maynot be able to relate to its significance until we go bald. We curl, twirl, straighten, braid, and do a lot of different things to our hair. Tbh I believe hair to be flexible enough to participate in Olympics. Let's categorise this unique existing feature of ours:

1. Frizz: let's start from the bottom. It is the least wanted hair but almost everyone experiences them. That of the bird's nest is a common style we all wake up with. The most frustrating part is adjusting it when the comb gets stuck in. This is the main cause of hair fall for both men and women. Those with them naturally would better go bald than handle them. Because at times chemicals or even treatments fail to discipline them. Sometimes they are just so tangled that you may end up cutting them. All and all, they are that impossible type that you always wish to never end up with.

2. NORMALISM PREVAILS: there's always a type in every list which is neither too worst off nor the best . But is still a common site. They arenot exactly smooth nor very rough. They can be combed. Hair fall occurs but it's manageable. Instead of showing them off, it's always better to fold them into a graceful bun. They arenot something to be ashamed off and it takes a little effort to make them effortless. And tbh, it's our hair , man.......

3)Salon ready hair: This is the type of hair that is ever ready for every occasion. They are smooth and silky. They are bouncy and to be let all open. Your hair never offends you. You don't face hairfall but may suffer dandruff and lice. But you can do all different styles and stuffs with your hair.

4) Thin hair : This type is also found among women. They are not to be hated. It's just that they don't completely cover the scalp so it's not very voluminous. This hair may be frizzy, damaged , rough, weak or smooth, silky , beautiful and shiny. They can be treated very well. Having them isn't very regretful. But you may face hairfall and damage if not taken care of.

5) Thick hair : This type covers your scalp very well. They appear quite voluminous but don't guarantee anything else. They can be long or not, can be rough or not. And it's not surprising to say that most of us are born with normal hair that requires care and treatments. We arenot those ones to have salon ready hair from birth itself. At times, they can be really heavy to have or can be beautiful enough to flick around.

6) Baby hair: This is a unique category . These thin hair that grow generally on hairline. Almost everyone have them. But some have abundance. They are literally babies; they can be managed not controlled. They are freaking annoying . When you tie up your hair clean for an elegant femme fatale style and then you realise there are a few strands of hair popping out into the whole scenario. It's embarrassing to have horns with clean bun. Sometimes gels, creams, combs and clips also fail and that's when it's a headache. But you can't cut them or else that area would look bald.

7) Face hair: This one is not of everyone's concern. Yeah, Everyone have them though. Shout out to all the girls or all those who get rid of these facial hair regularly except brows ofc!!!!! Those hair maybe thin but can be really fast when it comes to growth. Like it's nothing to say who like moustache or beard with lipstick on.

8) Pubic hair: These growth takes place in the areas, which are solely owned by you. These hair are coarse and meant for protecting the delicate regions. But not everyone need such protection. Still these hair don't give up. They twist, tangle and stuck with the blades so to fail the shave. At times baldness is desirable somewhere. They are tough and ichy sometimes. They even stink and actually not problematic at all.

Do lemme know whats you hair type or if I missed out any........

#forbiddenpersona.

[an-jae]

PERIODIC FLOW: The final chapter

The process gradually pauses. The flow decreases until it totally dries out. Trust me, the day you realise the departure of your forbidden love, nothing feels more relieving than that.

I'm sure that most of the girls reading this, have easy accessibility to pads or other sanitary products. Even we know their proper disposal and to us they maynot be very costly either. But there are regions around the world; there are still numerous women out there who don't have accessibility to such things. For them, periods is not just a problem, it's a curse.

There are countries where women use clothes instead of products because they are cost effective. There are rural regions, where selling a pad is often prohibited by village heads. In many African countries, women use Cow patties, goat skin or even hay to absorb blood. If not any of this, they prefer making a hole on the ground and sitting on it until the blood is absorbed. The scene of underdeveloped countries is pain-stricken and deeply dispiriting.

When it comes to developing countries even, the clothes are what women prefer. The clothes that are home to infectious microbes sometimes. They are dirty and regular use of them can result in tumors and worstly cancers. Even then periods are considered resentful, women feel deeply ashamed because they believe that period talks are vulgar and unholy. Females may die with diseases than to discuss their vaginal or gyne problems.

Taboos and myths related to menstruation are endless. Some say that women get unholy and some believe that the longer it last, the more sinful the women's been in her life. Worshipping us forbidden in many places. In some places, girls also skip school when they experience PMS.

Those five- seven days of a woman's life is not just about blood she loses. It's about the beauty and fertility she gains. She doesn't she dirty blood; she retains feminism and maturity. However, the blood isn't dirty or toxic in the first place.

Menarche is a big step for some and stop for others. She realises her feminism, health, sexuality , dignity and ability. Menstruation is the reason why life walks on earth. The inconvenience, pain, depression, stress, blood, sweat and tears, a few out of all that a woman accepts to testify her womanism. Yet, she is still looked down upon.

Even in developed countries, woman is still embarrassed enough to cover her period stains. Students are bullied in these regards.

Then there are regions where a female is praised for her maturity. Regions like Fiji, North America, southern and western part of Odisha in India, Japan, Brazil and UK are some regions where periods are celebrated with feasts and girls are gifted with sanitary products.

All that's done is done but all that's ahead is still to come. It's just a natural process,not a natural disaster. So let's not make one. Enough of exaggerating and concealing. A man needs to know about this thoroughly to look after all the women in his life. Talks and discussions need to be done; problems need to tackled. A female needs to bleed respectfully. If this is what makes her healthy and beautiful then it needs to happen. If this is how it's naturally designed, then this needs to work freely.

#forbiddenpersona.........

[an-jae]

PERIODIC FLOW: Chapter-2

Days of periods: Those are normal days of pain, that are familiar to every girl. The pain that can't be reflected but only succumbed. Cramps, headache, bodyaches, mood swings.... All seem to be quite easy to list out. Dealing with them, all together, is the same as standing in a queue but realising that the shop is closed. It meets no end. All the days, the river flows, surely erodes all the surfaces it touches.

The period is quite sensitive. Taking care of sanitation and hygiene is of utmost importance. Often women neglect this aspect amongst work or being unaware. May it be sanitary pads, tampons, menstrual cups or reusable napkins; all of them have to be handled with care, changed regularly and clean thoroughly. The area down there is cellular-ly hyperactive. The excitedly upset organ leads to unexpected and peculiar arousals throughout the body. At times, one faces mild to extreme cramps; others face sore abdomen. Headaches , backpains and leg pains are not new either. Afterall they are the side effects of the romance before.

Clothes are forbidden. You can't wear your favourite white, peach, yellow or any light coloured dresses or pants, esp. Its not exactly that you can't wear it, but it's just that you should avoid. After all, it's not everywhere that Red polkadots suit.

Your meeting are gonna be hell annoying. Your classes are gonna be tiresome. Your dates or hangouts would be stressful. Not only it affects your body but it's does affects your beauty. Your skin feels more oily or in some cases, bit ichy. Aches and pimples are complusory guests.

The posture of how you sit and sleep, are also credited. If one is sitting with her legs crossed, where her legs are raised up and her hips rise high when she's lying up side down, then trust me, all she wants is to stay in that position till eternity, even it she appears like a mashed banana.

Another thing that comes as plot twist is a urge to have sex. It doesn't happen with everyone. The young or non- hormonals wouldn't get a single idea of this paragraph. But those who would, will undeniably agree with the arousal feelings. You want to remain a mashed banana but still want Netflix and chill.

You may not want to change your posture, talk to anybody, go out anywhere or even move. But you still want to do is make out with someone. Maybe it's the chemicals inside that work but those effects are irresistible. Your mouth waters on every guy and your brain has already pictured the scene of you and him. At the end of the day, you can't succumb to this desire or you may even. It's always different for different people.

But all the days during periods are hectic stressing , moody and deliberately painful, in a nutshell.

[an-jae]

PERIODIC FLOW: LETS HAVE SOME TALK.......

The flow of fluid that occurs every month that is scientifically called Menstruation or menstrual cycle and generally periods.

This revealing write up is all about Periods this time. The defination says that it is the flow of blood and mucus from the uterus lining, along with the unfertilised egg through a woman's vagina. This is pretty complex, right.

In reality, this process is rather difficult like everyone, just imagine when you get a small cut on you hand and start to bleed. Likewise a nasty amount of blood flowing through a woman's body without pause for continuously days. The blood flow may happen from 3-7 days. The more troublesome things are the cramps and mood swings.

Firstly the blood flow have a dramatic commence. The bloody flow can occur at anytime around "the date" . The date here isn't so romantic when it just happened last month. The meet between the women and hers is the most shocking DATE a woman experiences every month. The romance can happen at any time, whether you are at a meeting, at hospital, playing games, eating , sleeping, cooking or anything. Red is the colour of such love which shines bright down there, as in at your back or even everywhere.

There isn't even any certainty that the love would happen at the particular date. It's like you have to wait about a week even before or after for YOUR DATE.

The moment of truth when you realise that there's is a knock at the door. Your desperation tells you to lock yourself into the bathroom. Your mission is to save yourself from embarrassment. Finally the deep mosaic of surprise, disappointment, relief and anxiety plasters on your face as you witness the hot effing mess.

There's always different kinds of gifts that you present your date; absorbent materials like sanitary pads , tampons, menstrual cup etc. After all, you love them enough to lock them in.

# forbidden persona...... Yet not done.....

[an-jae]

I am a leaf,fettered to the Big tree

Of which I've bloomed.

I am a leaf, suspending freely

But held back somewhere still.

I am a leaf, flowing in the breeze

But my dream of flying has not been lived.

I wait for Fall to fall off from this native.

I wait for Fall to feel my limbs and liberty.

I wait for The Fall to outgrow of a illusory haven.

I wait for The Fall to fall into Fidelity called "Life".

The life, which would be my own.

The life,where I'd dance with the breeze.

The life, where I'd obstruct my storms.

The life, where I'd succumb my abandoned tranquility.

Days when I'd lay still on the ground.

Days when I'd be exhaust of gliding.

Days when I'd float over cool Adam's ale.

Days when I'd be drifted strong by currents.

Days when I'd just be stepped on and,

Days when I'd be bright enough to contemplate.

Until then, I embellish my dream with freedom and belief.

Until then, I infuse myself with resilience to be an Autumn Leaf........

#forbiddenpersona.