shark vs the universe
dirt enthusiast
YOU ARE THE REASON
roma★
blake kathryn
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
we're not kids anymore.
Stranger Things
h
Three Goblin Art
★
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
No title available
Cosmic Funnies
Jules of Nature
Product Placement
oozey mess
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
$LAYYYTER
ojovivo
seen from Canada
seen from United States
seen from Singapore
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Slovakia
seen from Malaysia
seen from Japan
seen from United States
seen from Latvia
seen from Austria
seen from Malaysia
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Hungary
seen from T1
seen from Türkiye
@anarchoborderline
Is this the monetary scheme of capitalism?
No. The bottom level would be locked too.
You are right, how could I forget
Oh boo hoo! People won’t feed and house you for free despite both being the product of other’s labor who deserve compensation! Cry me a river you communist fucks! Fuck off to Venezuela!
silence, bootlicker
scariest thing to ever happen to me: this mysterious worm who visited my school
there were a bunch of adults standing around it jotting down shit on a notepad and every time i tried to get close they shooed me away, i feel like i got too close, i fear for my life
also: the worm was animatronic, so it was moving around and moving its mouth but there was absolutely no sound emanating from it at all, adding to the surreal horror element immensely
Specific Hozier Music Edits Masterlist
(I'll update this everytime I post a new one)
• Shrike but you're sitting by your open window during a thunderstorm
• In The Woods Somewhere but you're actually somewhere in the woods during a summer night, sitting by a campfire
• No Plan but you're sitting on an empty beach looking out on the sea
• Almost (Sweet Music) but you're sitting on a porch during a thunderstorm
• Angel Of Small Death & The Codeine Scene but you're driving through a snow blizzard at night
• Wasteland, Baby! but you're driving at night through rain
• As It Was but you're sitting on your windowsill, watching the thunderstorm that's going on outside
• Sedated but you're underwater
• Wasteland, Baby! but you’re right at the edge of a dark forest, sitting by a bonfire
• Run but you’re sitting by a lake. The sun just went down and you lit a bonfire to keep yourself warm
• From Eden but you're sitting in a field by a small river. It's a nice sunny day & the birds are chirping
• Arsonist's Lullabye but you're all cozied up in front of an open fireplace
• NFWMB (Acoustic) but you’re in the middle of a forest at night, sitting in the entrance of your tent in front of a bonfire
• In A Week by Hozier but it’s coming from an unknown source in the distance; you’re laying in the middle of a field, insects are buzzing around you
• It Will Come Back but you’re sitting at the edge of a cliff looking out onto the ocean and the thunderstorm that’s raging in the distance
• Foreigner’s God but you’re walking through howling wind
• Work Song but you’re on an empty beach, looking out onto the ocean while the daylight fades
• Dinner & Diatribes but it’s playing at a fancy cocktail/dinner party
Hey, I know it's been a month since I posted one of these but I just posted Dinner & Diatribes but it's playing at a fancy cocktail/dinner party
Scoob! (2020)
any spanish speaker: cojer
méxico and argentina:
méxico: cuantos años tiene? (how old is he?)
argentina: ni idea, pero es un pendejo (idk, but he is a pendejo)
méxico:
(pendejo in mex = insult. pendejo in arg= young boy)
méxico: wait a sec, i’m gonna eat a concha.
argentina:
(concha in mex = a type of bread. concha in arg = pussy)
spanish woman: hi, my name is concha
argentina:
(concha in spain = seashell and a female name. concha in arg = pussy)
mex: i love cajeta, it’s so sweet!
arg:
(cajeta in mex = dulce de leche [caramel]; cajeta in arg = pussy)
spanish speaker: h-
argentina: thats pussy, babe!!
the fact that a cat considers “sit in the same room ignoring each other” to be an acceptable social activity and not an insult is great for me because that’s how i like to socialise
robert pattinson singlehandedly destroying every single joker before he’s even put the suit on
Abled Person: Hey man, can you hold this wad of $2,000 and this one penny for me while I open my wallet?
Disabled Person: YOU COMPLETE AND UTTER FOOL!
The United States Government:
(Watch how many people don’t get this.)
#raises hand #i dont understand #please explain?
In order for disabled people to receive any sort of financial assistant for their housing, food, bills, medical supplies, etc., they cannot ever have more than $2,000 of resources to their name. Ever.
It doesn’t matter what it’s for.
You’re saving up for a new wheelchair?
For college?
To put a downpayment on a house?
Hell man, you just happen to budget for once in your life so that you can have some extra money in case something bad happens?
Your benefits immediately get cut off if you’re a cent over $2,000.
And, even worse, you usually end up having to pay back every dollar the government gave you that month.
So say you get $400. If they find out you’re twenty dollars over the resource limit, you have to give them all $400 back and you undergo an investigation of your funds to see if you will continue getting money.
“What if I spend the money that day?”
Doesn’t matter. In fact, from what I can tell, people who do this are actually put under investigation for fraud.
And yes, this system literally kills people.
Remember when “Guardians of the Galaxy” came out? one of Rocket Racoon’s creators, Bill Mantlo, suffered an accident in 1992 and has irreparable brain damage.
before the movie came out, Marvel gave him an exclusive preview screening. SOme people were upset because they felt if Marvel was really wanted to thank mantlo, they should have donated money to Mantlo’s family.
Bill Mantlo’s brother had to come out and explain: If Marvel gave them monetary aid, Bill Mantlo would lose his financial assistance.
That’s so utterly depressing.
disgusting
I have friends on welfare who won’t pick up a penny in the street because they’d risk the welfare they struggled to get for 10 years.
oh look another fucked up thing in this world. let’s just add it to the list. number 63858b
My brother has been on California State SSI for autism for the last 10 years, and he absolutely has to (no joke, HAS TO) spend all 720 bucks of his SSI every month, because if he puts it in the bank he risks losing his SSI altogether.
Sometimes, at the end of the month, he has no idea what to do with his money because the whole month went by and he still has 400-ish bucks in his account, and he fucking panics because he doesn’t want to get anywhere near 2,000.
And here’s the funnest part of the story!
One day he did a huge commission on Second Life and wound up earning 1500 bucks off of it, and he told the guy to donate it 500 bucks at a time over 3 months. The guy didn’t want to, and just donated all 1500, which put my brother at 2,036 bucks.
The state IMMEDIATELY (I’m talking less than an hour) called him up to tell him over the phone that they were canceling his SSI, because they noticed he had gone over the 2,000 buck threshold. He had to tell them that someone had made a charitable donation to him and that this was not a common occurrence in any way shape or form, and upon not believing him, my mother had to call to talk to them as his legal caretaker and say basically the same thing until they called off the cancellation of his SSI money.
He also had to cancel his renter’s assistance because it put him to 1,062 a month, so if he went 30 days without spending any money they’d cancel his SSI altogether. Like, none of us in the family have any fucking clue why that regulation is in place and it’s the stupidest shit in human history.
Please, legal side of Tumblr, tell me what positive reasoning this law has?
Happy 4th of July everyone! This is what the “nation of opportunity” looks like.
There’s something called an ABLE account that can help. If you are on SSI and were diagnosed as disabled before the age of 26 you can apply for an ABLE account that will allow you to save up to $99,000. More people need to know about this!
thank you so much for this information. i’m applying for an abled account right now
THERES A WHAT
OH GOD BLESS THE SHIT OUTTA YOU YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW FREAKED OUT OVER THIS I WAS
I’ve been looking into SSI; I had no idea about this!
Read till the end for the important info
Reblog to literally save a disabled person’s life
(white) people on my aou post: aou isn’t that bad, what about ragnarok???
me: i don’t? understand? what the fuck? you mean?
oh we’re still doing this “ragnarok made thor and loki look stupid” thing
things ragnarok did:
- reinvent thor as being a more relatable and fun character with a far more extensive power set as well as making him the star of his own goddamn movie for once without worry about some other character overshadowing him and established that his arcs from the first two movies were realized in the form of him assuming control of his powers on odin’s level – asserting his ultimate worthiness
- introduce valkyrie
- give heimdall more than two minutes of screentime
- destroy asgard
- reintroduce hulk with the ability to speak and show emotion beyond smashing things
- fuck colonialist lives! korg is skinny!
- contain good and funny jokes
- was directed by the mcu’s first director of color
- fix loki’s sad broody boy problem
- make fun of thor: the dark world
ragnarok is one of the best marvel movies for the “prisoners with jobs” joke alone, fuck y’all, unclench
Me: I need a library card, but I just moved so I don’t have an ID with my address or any mail with it.
Librarian: -slides me a blank library postcard- Write your address on this like it would be mailed to you.
Me: Sure?
Librarian: -takes it back- Great! Now we have mail with your address on it!
Me: …does it really work that way?
Librarian: the rules don’t say it DOESN’T work that way. Here’s your new library card!
Librarians are the most dangerous magic users because they can aquire infinite knowlege
“There actually isn’t a rule that says I can’t cast this spell. I checked.”
“Which book?”
“A L L O F T H E M.”
hgfxdesyu5i6r7touih;obvgjcfesyudfiuygbj
human instincts
ghost detection
no one here knows you but they all hate you
go pet that large predatory animal
hit person with cardboard tube
Slap someone with overly long sleeves
Go upstairs on all fours
Make weird noise to break awkward silence
am a big fan of the relationship dynamic that is "scary powerful lady falls in love with total himbo because he's too dumb to be intimidated by her but drinks enough respect women juice on the regular to be very impressed by and genuinely supportive of everything she does"
also known as the "that's my WIFE!!! :D" dynamic
“polls show that 34% of americans will vote for–”
what polls? whomst is being polled? i have never once in my life been polled. what is the sample size? what is the sample demographic? is it really 34% of americans or is it 34% of americans who answer random numbers on their landline??? poll this dick
I wish there was a show like My Cat from Hell but with autistic people
Autism Parent™: My kind won’t stop throwing tantrums
Autistic Expert: Well A) those are meltdowns NOT tantrums B) they have no control over this and C) stop touching them without their consent and forcing them into overwhelming situations
Autism Parent ™: I just want my kid to say “I love you”
Autistic Expert: They have been telling you they love you by infodumping to you and spending time in the same room as you. You just refuse to listen.
Autism Parent ™: They behave so weird. I want them to stop.
Autistic Expert: Have you ever talked to an autistic adult to learn about what autistic body language looks like? Well stop expecting them to act neurotypical, they are not. Their behavior makes actually absolutely sense for an autistic person.
Feel free to add more examples :)
Parent: My kid screams after dinner every evening
Expert: Your dishwasher is really loud and makes the floor vibrate, have you tried running the dishwasher later?
Parent: My kid won’t eat
Expert: Now it could be for the forced eye contact and physical proximity of the family dinner table, it could also be a matter of texture, colour or certain tastes like bitter or sour, let’s try different things.
Parent: My kid yells when I want them to do homework straight away when we get back from school
Expert: The social part of school is draining for your child, have a nap/quiet-time then do homework
Parent: my child hates their grandfather and goes silent when we’re at their house.
Expert: Grandfather demands hugs, calls child a wierdo when they share their interests, calls them a wuss for having food preferences and keeps the tv on at high volume even during conversations, what did you expect?
Parent: My child is deliberately embarrasing me in front of my friends
Expert: It’s not about you. Children don’t set out to deliberatly embarrass their parents, that’s paranoid nonsense. Also stop dragging your child to events you know will be unpleasant to them.
Parents: I’m devastated, my child is wierd and everyone can tell and people look at me like i’m wierd and they’re not going to give me grandchildren or a wedding or become a lawyer like me and my father before me or a sports star and doesn’t like many of my interests…
Expert: You self absorbed asshole. Your child is not a mini-me, not there to fulfill your lost dreams, or fill in for adult friendships. If you can’t change and learn to appreciate what’s interesting about your kid and only see negatives and milestones that even a neurotypical child might not achieve anyway, I’m calling child services.
Parent: My kid is terrible at school, they won’t sit still in class and chatter all the time and ask the teacher lots of questions and prefer playing cards to tag
Expert: What are their grades like?
Parent: Very good,*sigh* I guess. Teachers have been quite enthusiastic but…
Expert: That’s your child’s way of focusing and socializing. You have a smart child and can’t even say so because you’re focusing on the differences again.
Parent: My child never tells me if they’re happy or sad.
Expert: Look closer, what gestures mean I’m in pain? what gestures mean i’m happy? Kid has been humming snippets of songs, tapping fingers and sat close to you but beside the sofa on the floor during this conversation. Happy, paying attention and wanting to be close to you. Right kid? You doing ok there?
Kid: *current kid slang for yeah dude totally rad but without tone* goes back to humming
so can we have the show already please? We really for serious need this
I think this one was funnier in my head
No it’s still hilarious
