ATTENTION NEEDED PLEASE READ
Hey guys, if you could please take the time to read this and share your thoughts, please let me know - it would mean the world to me. I know a lot of you are good people who might have what I need :) I basically just want to know who will stay if I turn this into an art page, so let me know on that alone if you don’t want to read all the stuff below <3
~This might be a bit long winded, but I need feedback to know how many of you would stay if I became an art account... let me explain...~
I started this page around 13 (I’m now 19) and it absolutely amazed me how much of a following I got just screenshotting and reposting emo depression posts, even self harm based. It made me feel a lot less alone. Around 15 I started posting a bit of weed enjoyment kinda stuff. And although I still suffer from depression and smoke a fair amount *;)*, I never felt the account was for me or about me, just one sort of thing that I posted for you guys. I logged back in after years to see that I still had many followers, and there was still some activity on my page and I was amazed. I was told to keep going and see what I could do, but I knew that it couldn’t be the same negativity I used to post.
Between starting this page and now, I’ve been through some S#!T. I still battle my own mind on the regular. But I grew a passion for painting since then (I always loved art and creativity but my past few years with painting has hit so differently). I’ve wanted to get my art out there, at least have some opinions on it. I’ve always shied away from starting an Etsy or an art Instagram, I’ve never thought I was good enough or that I would reach the right people. I wanted my art and my story to go together if I ever did anything with it, I want people to know who made the paintings and what made me. I’m not great... but I think there might be something there.
It would be my dream to make prints or sell my art, share a little piece of my soul with those who might appreciate it. And to have y’all know who it’s coming from and how a f***ed up mind can make some okay stuff. I’ve changed yet I’m still the same person who was all along making the posts on this account. I’ll probably post a few of my pieces on here. Call them awful if you want, I just want some feedback of any sort.
My life since 6 years ago... I don’t self harm anymore. I’m about 1.5 years clean and I’ve gotten tattoos to cover most of it, and I’m going to keep getting tattoos until all of my scars are covered (and probably tons more after that). They’ve really helped me to value my physical body and see the potential for beauty over the scars of my past and it simply draws me away from cutting knowing that am not just hurting my skin, but that I would be destroying the beautiful work that someone else took the time to bless me with.
I want to have you guys be a part of my journey. You’ve seen the things I posted when I thought my life was worthless, and I want you to be there to see the good parts of it too. I want to be someone who can make you feel understood, but also that no matter how much you f*** up, no matter how bad it gets, there is ALWAYS something wonderful to counteract it, even if its a 5 minute experience months later.
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Send me DM’s. Blow me up. I want to hear from all of you, but even if it’s just one of you I’d be over the moon. My Instagram is @johnnie_1003 I have no posts, I’m about to make my account public to make things easier in case anyone wants to talk, you can see my profile selfie, I don’t have any posts because I’m just not a fan of posting on social media to people I used to know from school but never really knew well so I don’t bother.
My snapchat is @johnnie1003 if anyone wants to dive right in and have a chat. Even if you dont give a crap about my art and just want to vent about your life to someone who will listen... I’m here.
I will probably write more and see if I can link it to this post because I still haven’t said everything I wanted but I know if it’s too long there’s no chance anyone will read it or anything.
Will make an effort to show some paintings soon <3
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