Walking Contradictions

Let's skip the small talk; I hate that junk. We can scream about movies and shows together. She/her. Mid-20s. Just figuring it all out. (Avatar: NoHo Hank from Barry. Please watch Barry so we can scream together.)

[and-little-things-in-between]

The fact that Dan and Phil deleted their Letterboxd accounts because people found them and were roasting/harassing them….THIS IS WHY THEY WERE FRIENDS FOR 16 YEARS, GUYS. Damn.

[ineptshieldmaid]

If my partner is in the next room over and hasn’t spoken to me in 15 minutes, I can easily convince myself that it’s not just because he’s reading but because the last thing I said to him was wrong somehow, and he’s stewing and ready to scream at me any second now about how awful I am. This belief, though, is wrong. He doesn’t get upset about infinitesimal things, and when he is upset, that isn’t how he handles it. He’s not my father.

It absolutely makes sense for me to process information this way — in many situations I’ve been in, that instinct would have been correct, and helped me stay safe. But it isn’t correct anymore, and it would be unhealthy — and unfair — to act as if it were. I’m not wrong for feeling the way I do, but if I forced my partner to treat my feelings as reality — if I called him five times a day while he was at work to have him reassure me he wasn’t mad at me, if I forbade him from ever taking time to himself without reminding me it wasn’t about me, or ever being outwardly upset about things like having a bad day at work because it makes me anxious — that would be a terrible relationship for him to be in. I’m not wrong for feeling how I do, but it’s on me to make a plan for how to cope with it: to remind myself to look at the evidence and ask whether there’s any suggestion that I’m actually about to be harmed, to develop my own coping strategies, to be self-aware of my own history and the way I map it onto my present. I can certainly ask my partner for support in this, or to make some concessions to my history that he agrees are both fair and healthy for him, but I can’t ask him to bend over backwards for me because I’m not willing to do the work at all. We can’t justify harmful things we do to others by pointing to the ways they’re related to how we ourselves were harmed — a reason isn’t a justification.

Rachel at Autostraddle (in an agony aunt column that’s actually about biphobia, but took this excellent turn into Why You Don’t Have To Grovel To People’s Neuroses)

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

"smart appliances" fuck u i want them dumb as a brick and incidentally as sturdy and enduring

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

"it has an LCD and an app!" that will be so fun in 7 years when everything still works except the dead screen and the abandoned software.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

"so many extra features" so that's why it costs 3x more and has 1/5th the lifespan of the old model.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

"4 year extended warranty" buddy where I'm from the dishwasher is a family heirloom and the washing machine helped raise us

[julieterbang]

[ollielephant]

[cumonthevoid]

none pizza with left beef

[the-chocolate-chip-pancake-blog]

It should be a rule of Tumblr to always reblog none pizza with left beef

[babymarkers]

ive missed you

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

Posted Oct 9, 2012

[etirabys]

as a child I wondered why adults were so stupid (doing things out of habit/routine/heuristics rather than reasoning explicitly about what to do based on their goals) and the answer is that adults are unimaginably fucking tired all the time

[delphinidin4]

#that really is it #every time i have to deal with someone who seems totally airheaded i assume they’re operating on too little sleep #and the few times I’ve gotten to check i am correct #forgive others as you would like to be forgiven at 6am on a Thursday after a week of late nights #for we will all be there at some point    tags via @gallusrostromegalus

[bunny-banana]

if u feel the first cramp and think "i dont need a painkiller yet, itll pass" ? that the devil speaking, take that painkiller immediately

[redwinesupernova]

poll (silly style) what kind of beverage is the person you reblogged this from

water

lemonade

coffee

tea

soda

smoothie

hot chocolate

juice

cocktail

secret other thing (specify in tags)

Voting ended onAug 13, 2023

[hungwy]

Worst part of living with animals is the night time sloppy licking cleaning noises I'm sorry but I cannot sleep . Please fhcking stop please please olease

[whateverdyke]

[gachimushi]

[armandgender]

macklemore really just said walk into the club like what up I got a big cock and we just accepted that. what was going on in 2012

[madderhatter]

[brown-bear-64]

Sound ON

[antifascistelmo-deactivated2022]

No matter how progressive or well-read you are, there are always going to be moments in your life where somebody pushes back against something that's so culturally ingrained you never even considered it before. And you'll say "Huh, it never occurred to me to challenge this but you're right" and that doesn't mean you were "morally toxic" before, it means you're a non-omniscient human capable of growth.

[everythingstarstuff]

[charlesoberonn]

Same thing the other way around.

When you’re not used to humility, arrogance can feel like confidence.

When you’re not used to listening, aggression feels like assertiveness.

When you’re not used to being denied, selfishness feels like prioritizing yourself.

[elle-draws]

best movie of 2023 so far

[butyoutoldmeiwasfunny]

[ponpasta]

this is mostly for me more than anything

[girakia]

╎< -> = O