This was my proana blog
I was obsessed with it. For years. It’s how I learned to drink black coffee and smoke menthol cigarettes. I thought it was pretty cool. I lost a lot of weight. It took a long time for me to feel ok eating food again. It took me YEARS to quit smoking cigarettes. Years to get my drinking problem under control.
I know you feel better than everyone for being in control of your food. I know it feels good to be so strict. It’s not cute to drink vodka, smoke cigs and pass out on the regular. It’s not fun to hate yourself. You could be enjoying so much more. And no, you cannot stop whenever you want. This will consume you. it will become “you” and you will become it. But I know you probably wont listen to this-- I know I didn’t.
Now I work out because I want to be stronger, not smaller. I lift heavy weights. I run fast. I laugh with the people I workout with. I love my body not because of the way it looks but because of the things I do with it! I like to hang out with myself. I like to cook things; gross disasters and delicious masterpieces.
I’m going to turn this into a positive blog for myself; with dogs, exercise, and nice kitchens. Inspirational quotes and pretty pictures. I guess if you don’t want that, I’m telling you to unfollow me now. This was my proana blog years ago, and now it is not.
