reading solitaire has been sort of weird, it has a main character who i dont feel connected to on a lot of stuff, but there's still that.. need?
i want tori to feel happier, but is she not happy in her own worldview? she seems content at least, until she meets michael. I think i've only had one thing spoiled about the book, and im not even sure if im just misremembering it and if i made it up in my head that i got it spoiled, but i think the friend who borrowed solitaire to me (ty again) told me its an aroace story? (or one of the two, at least) And i really see it, from when tori was asked about her sexuality and she said something like ''straight works, until proven otherwise", to all the descriptions of (men mostly i think, but i could be wrong) where she mostly talks about them in neutral, almost objective way, never describing what shes attracted to specifically. On a romantic level we also dont really see much (im on page 200 still, so bear with me), besides so many moments with Michael, when Tori still seems to feel the need to emphasize how platonic it all is, as if to convince herself.
I think, with all the info i got, an asexual Tori reading would make sense; and now to circle back, i wonder if theres any connection the writer is trying to make between Tori's nihilistic view on life, and her sexuality; maybe she's been thinking that somethings wrong with her all her life, or that somethings wrong with everybody else. but upon figuring out more stuff about life, feeling hopeful and spending more time with people that actually *see* her, she'll be able to see that its just how she is, and that thats alright. I struggle not to take a view that makes it seem like Alice is trying to make Tori feel happy completely connected with the discovery of romantic love, BUT simultaneously its probably just my own left-over biases that make me think thats what the writer is going for, and feeling dread when thinking about the shitty ways the story could go; it more so describes me and my way of being impacted by things that havent even happened yet. The very clear sign you could take that the story isnt going in the way i hope it isnt is the "this isnt a love story" on the cover;
Victoria's love for Michael could be completely platonic, but still have that level of connection and maybe some sort of affection, thus making her accidentally mistake if for romantic love, but in the end realizing its not. And the most important part, being happy with that.
Im not sure where i was going with this in the beginning, i think it was the fact that i dont feel connected to Tori's nihilistic view, but after closer inspection, in the fanfiction i wrote in my head, it would make sense to make the changing of that view bring contrast to the story, making it clearer for an alloromantic/allosexual person that the main character's lack of romantic or sexual attraction isnt a mistake, wasnt the problem at all (AND that the discovery and self acceptance of this difference only brings her good things in the end).
snowghoul
gracieabrams
vaporwave
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