Thinking about August again. Thinking about his difference in relationships. Thinking about how he treated Felice vs how he treated Sara.
I think August was — is — genuinely in love with Sara. Like head over heels, the way Wille loves Simon, in love with Sara. It’s even more obvious when you think about how he treats her vs how he treated Felice in season one.
In season one, he says he’s going to marry Felice, but really he means he’s going to sleep with Felice. He tells Erik it’s better to get them when they’re “too insecure to object.” He had no intention of anything serious with Felice. He says he wants to take her on a date. He mentions flying her to a Michelin Star Restaurant, but only after she mentions how the only thing around is the lowly pizza place in Bjärstad. During sex he focused on his own pleasure. He told her not to closer her eyes. He didn’t want to be intimate with her (the position they’re in literally prevents any eye contact). He was using her. Every scene with Felice was impersonal at best. When they took their “relationship” public, he didn’t act much differently. He just walked her over to her friends (notice they didn’t talk about it with his friends) and then he moved on. He kissed her best friend to get back at her for being friends with Wilhelm. When they broke up, he was mostly upset that he was publicly called out. It wasn’t about Felice or losing her.
Now with Sara… Jesus Christ with Sara.
He talks about not just marrying Sara, but making her Queen. And he means it. He has every intention of being serious with Sara and staying serious with Sara. He wants to bring her to the ball. He sets up candles in his room for her with champagne. He waits patiently and plans to take her to the dance, not just see her there or meet her there or take her home after. He wants to do the whole thing. The whole song and dance of taking her as his date. The first time they have sex he immediately makes it about her and she cuts him off and says to stay up with her. He tries to make it about her pleasure and she stops him. In fact, the first time they have sex, he just invited her over to talk. He literally had no intention of sleeping with her. There are many many moments of them lying in bed together and being intimate. He lets her sleep late in his bed. He actively makes sure she gets enough sleep, but also makes sure she has the privacy she wants when she leaves. When she shows up at his door upset he comforts her. He does it in the hallway where anyone can see and he doesn’t care. He wants to be public with Sara (ie the dance invite). When it all goes tits up, he doesn’t break about Sara. She has to be the one that confesses because he won’t do that to her. He literally would have taken the bullet to make sure her friends and family didn’t find out what she did.
But the most damning piece of evidence I have for August being in love with Sara is the fact that he bought that damn horse.
You wanna know how he paid for that horse?
He sold art from his inheritance. He sold a painting. Something that he could get rid of quickly and make money quickly so he could buy that stupid horse that Sara loves so much.
In season one August cannot pay his tuition. His mother tells him to sell a painting because it will pay his tuition “a hundred times over.” Do you know what his response was in that moment?
In season one he would rather die than sell that painting.
August is equating Sara’s unhappiness with death. Literal death.
He could not care less about her imperfections. He does not care that she blew him off a few times. He does not care that she shows up in his room smelling like a horse. He does not care that she’s blunt. He does not care that she’s autistic or has ADHD (which notice he never once took advantage of to fuel his drug habits). He does not care that she’s Simon’s sister. He does not care that, had he one day actually made her a queen, he would have difficulties with introducing her to royalty and the royal life. August does not care.
The only thing he cares about is her.
I’m distraught over this.