So, I wrote a little thing. It wasn't really planned but happened anyway. @eklmrlos has this (very smutty) comic going on Patreon and I mentioned that I hoped Crowley had had The Talk with The Bentley beforehand. @eklmrlos seemed quite interested to read something like that, and so my brain does what it does when it's supposed to be doing something else, but then a shiny new idea comes along... Well, now there is a very silly, very not-beta-read little story.
@eklmrlos I hope you like what I did with this. đ
Words: 1,242 (the word count is actually higher but AO3 doesn't count the footnotes if you put them in the endnotes and I prefer having them in their own little section)
Tags: Crack, Communication, Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), The Bentley Ships It (Good Omens), The Bentley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), The Bentley Loves Crowley (Good Omens), She/Her Pronouns for The Bentley (Good Omens), no sex in the Bentley (yet), Not Beta Read, Footnotes, like so many footnotes
Summary: It has become increasingly clear that Crowley needs to have a serious talk with the Bentley. Crowley is taking Aziraphale to the Ritz, so it has to happen now.
âSo,â he says as they drive the familiar route to the bookshop at a leisurely pace, âweâre taking Aziraphale out for dinner.â
The Bentley starts playing âEarth Angelâ by The Penguins in celebration.
âYes, exactly,â Crowley says absentmindedly, âand weâre taking him to the Ritz. You know how much Aziraphale loves the food at the Ritz.â
A happy little jingle plays for a moment before Earth Angel comes back on. Crowley takes this as a âyesâ.
âOnly⊠You know how exceedingly happy Aziraphale gets, when we take him out for dinner, especially when itâs to places like the Ritzââ
Another happy jingle. Where did she get those from, anyway? Heâs never used the radio once since he got her. [1]
âDonât get distracted, Crowley. Get it over with.â Crowley clears his throat. âEver since the angel came back, and we patched things up and became a⊠uhm, a thing, a group type thing⊠ah, things have changed a little different from beforeâŠâ Not the most eloquent Crowley has ever been, but it gets the point across. [2]
And things really have changed a lot. Crowley doesnât mind the changes one bit. And surely the Bentley must have noticed the changes. [3]
âYeah, so, uhm⊠Aziraphale can get very⊠uhm, affectionate when I take him out to dinner, you see? And with how we are now, that will most likely involve touching of some kind.â
No jingle this time, but the song has ended, and now the Bentley plays âEvery Time We Touchâ by Maggie Reilly. Does that mean the Bentley understands what heâs talking about? [4]
(Yes, there are a ton of footnotes in this section alone. I did warn about it in the tags. And I'm afraid to read them you'll have to hop on over to AO3.)