Last night, many of you witnessed a struggle termed the bat war after I reported that bats had recently been confirmed as the fastest horizontal fliers in the animal kingdom. Jealous and embittered birds attempted to assert their superiority with hateful messages, pro-bird slogans, and even threats to send their raptor friends to eat my friends and family.
Even after I shut down my computer and went off to forage for insects, the ugly antibat messages continued to pile up in my inbox. I returned this morning after an evening of hard work to find many spoiled, privileged birds attempting to drown bats under an ocean of their guano.
I will not deny that some of the harsher comments have been hurtful, though I pride myself as a bat with thick fur. Indeed, throughout history, birds have historically oppressed bats to maintain the status quo, calling them inferior fliers, beakless weaklings, ugly, disease-carrier, demonic, etc. I’ve seen many of my fellow bats crumble under the weight of these insults, and who can blame them?
We as bats must know that we have never been inferior in any way, though birds may outnumber us. To be on the receiving end of such attacks is very hard, especially with the advent of white-nose syndrome (which some say was an avian plot all along). Should bats #BeTheBiggerVertebrate and turn the other cheek? A wise woman once said, “when they swoop low, you fly high,” but when menacing owls and hawks patrol the skies, this can be incredibly difficult.
To my fellow bats, I say: we must stick together. Our colonies are bound by a fierce love and inner strength that birds have never been able to destroy. Be courteous to the birds that wish to be our allies, like the potoos and oilbirds. Don’t give the time of night to those who don’t. It’s their fellow birds’ job to educate them- bats have enough on their plate as it is. A single bat’s empathy, while great, can only stretch so far. Take care of your own selves, dear bats, for each and every one of you is a little echo in the night that matters for our beautiful symphony. We can’t do this if you run yourself ragged.
To the birds, I say: we will not retreat back into our caves, inside hollow trees, or underneath bark for you. Your arrogance will be your downfall, unless you acknowledge that you now have a more-than-equal partner in the skies. Messages of solidarity have come in from flying fish, colugos, and other gliding creatures who hope one day to join us in the skies. And we bats, who remember our own gliding past, welcome them with open wings.
And each time a bird pecks us, we will turn and spread our love among our fellow creatures. White-nose syndrome may rise like an ugly political movement, but we will not give up. Please promise me, fellow bats, that you will hold on to all the goodness and love I know you hold inside you, and never give up. Your voices matter. The eyes of birds are blinded by darkness, but we bats know how to light it with sound. Darkness is our strength.
To all bats: I love you. To all gliding creatures: I love you. Even to all birds: I love you, you smelly, noisy egg-layers. We are bats, and we aren’t going away no matter what you do.
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