Urban Hazard

The Clothesline of Whore Doilies

[andymacassar]

"No Problem"

I find 'No Problem' a fully acceptable response to 'Thank You'. It is the American English version of 'De Rien', 'De Nada' or even the Indo-Australian 'No Worries'. Unless any one of these responses is accompanied by a frowning shrug, why would anyone feel slighted?

Worse, those who ARE oft slighted frequently offer a soft, casual 'Thank You' with a subdued or truncated latter syllable, expecting a formalized 'Your Welcome'.

I hereby propose that those yearning for a formal reply do so by offering a slowed and formal 'Thank You Very Much'; the  only possible response to which is 'You Are Very Welcome'.

Otherwise, suck it up.

[andymacassar]

Wtf. Pornography

I remember when I was a teen, there were 900 numbers... But, well... now there are possibly Petabytes of porn online that is freely accessible and suddenly, I see folks on TV, trying to sell it like those 900 numbers. And I'm laughing. Folks; it's frickin free. Whaddya doing?

[andymacassar]

Nike protests amuse me. ‘Nike’ -of course- is merely a placeholder for almost any word one might choose. It is hard to take anyone seriously when their protest lasts any longer than 36 hours, or when it calls for selective commercial abstinence. Change is evolutionary NOT revolutionary. More to point, the destruction of already-paid-for product is asinine. Whatever entity one aims to punish actually benefits. Be honest; you’re gonna buy In-N-Out again at some point and Nike already MADE their profit off of the shoe-burners. We all KNOW there is a minor but unconscionable quantum of constabulary that needs to be abolished, so you can get up off your knee. The burgers are delicious, the Swoosh will walk on, and your grandparent’s police will be exiled by that of your children. Eat, walk and -most of all- hike the ball, Chuck-o. Sheesh.

[andymacassar]

In 1956, Carl stole Kool-Aid's face...

Stole... His face.

[andymacassar]

Nike protests amuse me. 'Nike' -of course- is merely a placeholder for almost any word one might choose. It is hard to take anyone seriously when their protest lasts any longer than 36 hours, or when it calls for selective commercial abstinence. Change is evolutionary NOT revolutionary. More to point, the destruction of already-paid-for product is asinine. Whatever entity one aims to punish actually benefits. Be honest; you're gonna buy In-N-Out again at some point and Nike already MADE their profit off of the shoe-burners. We all KNOW there is a minor but unconscionable quantum of constabulary that needs to be abolished, so you can get up off your knee. The burgers are delicious, the Swoosh will walk on, and your grandparent's police will be exiled by that of your children. Eat, walk and -most of all- hike the ball, Chuck-o. Sheesh.

[somanypetals]

someone who works at our local opshop/thrift shop just put goldblums in every single photo frame in the store

[andymacassar]

Nice...

[andymacassar]

Unintentionally Pervy Ads

Some hamlets are rife with unintentional perversion in their advertising. To wit; This production company does NOT produce anything remotely pornographic.

[andymacassar]

[andymacassar]

“My President is Black.”

I couldn’t figure-out why this bothered me for the last week. Until I realised; Oh! everyone who posts this is racist. It is nice and not-ungood that America has now had a black president. But ultimately, colour shouldn’t matter to people, according to the very people who post the quoted text.

[andymacassar]

Moderated Thought & Action

This goes back to change as an evolutionary –and not revolutionary- movement. One may cite catalytic moments in time in which the world changed, but it is never really at that moment. It was merely a moment that at some future date one could say that before it, there was vaguely one way, and after it, there was vaguely another.

There were many straws before the one at which point the camel’s back was broken and there were many more afterwards, which continued to bury the camel. I defy you to point out the exact straw that actually coincided with the breaking.

No offense to the anachronistic camel, but all I can ask of you is to be another quiet and gently falling straw. The camel will be buried anon.

Thus; you are either preaching to the choir, or yelling at a brick wall. Either way, your present course is moot. Find your way off the streets of misguided protest and back into you own lives.

[i-justreally-like-cats-okay]

[andymacassar]

You have 3 seconds. fill it properly. 

 Best GIF ever. Mic drop.

[srsfunny]

If It’s Not Physical, It Doesn’t Count

[andymacassar]

Testify!

[andymacassar]

Samsung Galaxy Support- Where boners go to die.

[andymacassar]

Mediocrity

Everything on the internet eventually becomes averaged by all the average and below-average people with access to it. Except below-average content; neither average nor above-average people access this content with any regularity capable of raising it above below-average. Damningly, most content is below-average from its inception, indifferent to its production value.

[andymacassar]

Ignorance, Malice & Neglect

I was recently asked, by a friend, to assess the hotness of a woman after seeing her for less than 5 seconds.

"She's not-unattractive." I conceded. She was not. She had 'model-pulchritude'. Actually, she had curves; she'd a completeness to her physique that models would have to barf off or starve away. She was a visual delight. I was surprised when he took offense for the woman; certainly where no offense was meant.

Because somewhere along the way, I grew more discerning. It didn't help that the 'hottest' SOs in my romantic life would also happen to have been the most well-disguised miseries of sociopathy, or sadism and -always- the thin but alluring veneer of wild sex. But the sex runs out and your blinders fall off. 

It wasn't even great sex. It was the sex that you might get from a New York City bicycle messenger, who also happens to hate you. It was the sex that even prostitutes, gigolos (and certainly normal, sex-loving men and women) are incapable of providing. It is the sex one can only get from -and I use this word in the most clinical fashion; NOT the playfully BDSM-way that we all enjoy so much- a slut. A prostitute often has sex out of monetary need; a normal person, shared enjoyment. A slut does not know why they are having sex. At the end -fittingly- all you are left with is Ignorance, Malice or Neglect. Always at least one of the three. 

That is why I can only bring myself to find her merely 'not-unattractive'.

I don't even know her.

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