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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Misplaced Lens Cap
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Keni
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Today's Document
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@angelastienbeck
Ah, well that’s good to know. I’m glad I give off good vibes or whatever. And yeah, the mailman thing seems quite accurate. Obviously. Sure, then. Would you like to do tea sometime? Or, uh, some other non-alcoholic, non-coffee beverage?
You ought to be. Tea yes that sounds perfect. Have you ever tried cronuts? They're fantastic- fantastically awful anyway. Or we could go for real food? I'm not picky, I don't think the foods the point anyway. If you know what I mean.
Seb: No, I'm fine. Trust me.
Seb: And it's easy to change that. I say we might be acquaintances by now.
Angie: Okay. If you say so.
Angie: Of course. Semi-friendly acquaintances.
Seb: I never said no one went out with me.
Seb: You obviously don't know me all that well.
Angie: Looks like I offended you.
Angie: Didn't see that coming.
Angie: And no I don't, we're practically strangers.
Ah, thanks? No one’s ever really said something like that before, sorry if I don’t quite know how to respond to it. But it’s okay, really, we can stop the secrets talk if it makes you uncomfortable. I won’t judge. Y’know, though, I think you’re onto something. Mailman he is.
You're most welcome really. I just get that vibe off you. Of course thank you I'd appreciate that actually. Hm... yes definitely a mailman. Er, isn't this the part where one of us asks the other out for coffee or something non-alcaholic? Or, for that matter not coffee... some idiot ruined coffee for me.
Seb: That, yes.
Seb: And this conversation is turning slightly boring. Just like coffee with cream and sugar.
Angie: Sorry?
Angie: That's not okay. Don't insult the coffee. Maybe that's why nobody will go out with you, you insult their drinks.
Angie: And their everything. Actually.
Exactly. I’m keen on keeping my secrets as secrets. But my business is to get people drunk enough to unleash their hidden desires, and I’m admittedly pretty damn good at it. It’s interesting…the things that people hide. And yeah, he’s quite the looker, eh? I’ve heard quite a few, Captain Archie being the most recent.
Good, good.
Well you seem like the type who'd be good at anything he sets his mind to. So I won't question that. You've got a good point I suppose. I guess some things just... mean a lot more to other people so they become secrets I don't know. I don't really like talking about that. He is. Captain Archie hm? I always assumed he was a lost mailman.
Seb: I don't know what that was, honestly.
Seb: Forget it.
Angie: O...kay
Angie: Hm.
Angie: Are you just not coming up with enough pick up lines or?
Oh trust me, you’d learn eventually! It’s not that hard. Yeah, contrary to popular belief, I don’t think being drunk reveals much of anything. I think it changes you into someone else, which is quite a scary concept. He does look a bit real, doesn’t he? A couple of the girls have even given him a name, oddly enough. Kinda creepy.
I’m always right, never fear! People are odd creatures.
Definitely I'm not a real fan of drunkness it makes you spill your secrets. I don't have many but a lot of people do and sometimes ignorance is bliss. It's best to just, not. I guess. Then again if we all sobered up you'd be out of business. Is that so? Well I wouldn't say he's that attractive, what with the dead glassy eyes and terrible haircut. What do they call him though?
Agreed. On both fronts.
Seb: Just don't get into English, because your brain clearly doesn't work that way either.
Seb: Yes it is. You'll come to your senses.
Angie: Well I don't plan to.
Angie: Was that even an insult? I'm confused.
Angie: ... uh?
Definitely do. It’s not half bad once you learn to take everything as a joke, however. I just laugh at the dudes who curse me out now, and that helps. Ah, self control? That’s good. And yes, I can tell you first hand that drunk ladies get very flirty. They even have a tendency to hit on that cardboard cutout over there. Quite frequently.
Why thank you, dear. You’re lovely at complimenting, as well.
I guess you're right but I'm not sure if I'd ever learn to take it as a joke. I mean I'm sure you already know this but like, being drunk doesn't reveal your true self or whatever it just makes you lose your inhibitions and that's kinda scary I guess? Oh god. Well for everyone's safety that's probably for the best. I guess if you squint he looks a bit real.
Thank you I really hope you're right. It's just a bit annoying that a person can be sincere but not sound it. It always confused me actually.
Seb: Oh?
Seb: Well then, that's why the divorce rate is so high.
Seb: I thrive on hypocrisy, darling. You'll get used to it.
Angie: ...right
Angie: Just don't get in science or something clearly your brain doesn't work that way.
Angie: That's not a good thing. And I really hope I don't.
That is a lovely flaw, trust me. I only wish half the patrons were as alcohol-resistant as you so I wouldn’t have to deal with so many irate drunkards. You’d think people would have more decency in an airport…but no. I really appreciate the validation, definitely. You’re quite lovely proof, if I do say so myself.
Yes I suppose you do see the world that alcoholism has to offer with your work and all that. That must be pretty bad, I can only imagine. I couldn't call it alcohol resistance though. More of a self control thing. Or... I don't know. I've had to deal with plenty of drunk ladies on flights so that isn't really news to me, they get pretty flirty too when they have enough wine in them. Which is always awkward.
Well you're lovely at complimenting. No- no the grammar seems wrong but I do hope you know what I mean.
Seb: Not always? On what planet?
Seb: You have a type. Huh. Girls who say that are usually high maintenance.
Seb: Good riddance.
Angie: This one you magnificently annoying pain in the ass.
Angie: I bet not even half the couples that exist today are opposites.
Angie: Prove me wrong for all I care. Besides what's bad about high maintenance hm? You look like you are. Hypocrite.
Seb: Yep.
Seb: Opposites attract, or do you not know that?
Angie: Of course I know that but not always.
Angie: Besides you're not my type.
Ah, well consider it done then.
Oh well, we can’t all be good at everything. And it is a good thing, I think. I see way too many people who are great at it, and it’s a bit refreshing to meet someone like you. I…oh? Well, tell my mother that. She seems to think I’ll never get a girl with my cheesy attitude.
Will do.
Good point. Well I'm far from flawless but I guess if one of my flaws is not being able to get drunk easily I should be kind of proud. Yeah I guess you see a lot of that hear, a pity really you'd think people wouldn't want to get wasted before getting on a plane or in a taxi. Oh I guess I will. Seeing as I may or may not be proof that that statement is false.
Seb: Boring.
Seb: Maybe I like playing it by ear. Not having an agenda is much more interesting than having everything planned out.
Angie: Okay?
Angie: That makes us opposites. Not that I don't like spontaneity but I kind of appreciate having a set course of action to fall back on.
I will. Just for you.
You do, really. It’s a tragedy. And please, everyone sucks at drinking. That’s why we all handle it so badly. You’re not the first, and you most certainly won’t be the last. Sorry about the corny, by the way. I’ve been told that once or twice, even by my own mother.
That's about the best thing a guy could do for me ever. Just so you know.
Good point I'm bad at even getting the alcohol in my system. Then again, that's probably kind of a good thing. Or you're very distracting. Which you are, by the way. You don't need to apologize being corny is something every girl kind of has to give a guy crap for but secretly... or not that secretly we kind of enjoy it.
