Just a Blog being a Blog @angelawannabe - Tumblr Blog

the image “george washington welcomes abraham lincoln into heaven” is so homosexual

everyones reblogging this as if its contemporary or asking who did it but i gotta inform you all it was made in the very same year lincoln was assassinated (1865) and we literally have NO GODDAMNED CLUE who made it and its like fuckin 150 years old

theriu

How To Cure A Werewolf

Werewolf: (snarling and stalking) You think your silver will kill me? I’ll gnaw your bo-OOOOOOOOO-nes!

Me: Oh, no, the silver’s just to keep you on that side of the room. We’re here to cure you!

Werewolf: Cure?! There IS no cure for lycanthropy!

Me: Sure there is! Come in, Margaret!

Werewolf: Mar— Mom?!

Margaret: James Frederick Harrison! You stop acting in such an abominable manner THIS INSTANT!

Werewolf: But, but Mom, I can’t help it, I’m a werewo—

Margaret: No son of MINE is going to be a pawn of some magical virus, James Frederick Harrison! And look at you, running around the countryside with no shirt on! Did I raise you in a barn?!

Werewolf: (tail between legs) No, I didn’t, I wasn’t trying to— wait what’s happening—

Margaret: You will stop behaving like a half-mad, flea-ridden, cow-eating lunatic and come home THIS INSTANT, James Frederick Harrison, or so help me I will turn you over my knee and tan your fuzzy hide—

Werewolf: (Abruptly demorphs into a very confused James Frederick Harrison) ?!?!? HOW?!

Me: Combined some Danish and German remedies and noticed they basically equal being yelled at by your mom.

Margaret: (beaming) There’s my boy! Now come give your mother a hug!

——

(A\N: Credit for bringing these unusual werewolf cures to my attention goes to @zenaquaria!)

Other Nonsense:

The How To Guides For Mythical Creatures Masterlist

guerrillatech

brunhiddensmusings

goth-aunt

I am screaming lmao also this reminds me of @rosewater1997

jayalaw

@kingofthewilderwest

lastoneout

I really do love that people have legitimately always just been people. Like how many angry breakup texts have their been that end with “Come get your stuff or I’m donating it to goodwill”? People never change.

sodomymcscurvylegs

The concubine after reading this:

moon-rise

This is my new breakup format

dancinbutterfly

Fuck him and his harem. I hope Nisaba made you #1 wife, baby

s1uts-deactivated20250921

screaaaming me

pisshandkerchief-deactivated202

“pick up your flax shawls and sandals or else I will donate them to the temple of the moon god” idk why but this bit in particular is SENDING me humans have literally always been the same

sugarglider-s

Kinda gay to make a wanted poster... why do you want that man? So you can hold him?

dykemochi-deactivated20191115

“i saw this and thought of you” is my favourite affirmation. a gentle yet persistent reminder of your presence in the minds of others

depsidase

greenflamestherabbit

My funniest ventriloquism story starts with the fact that I was obsessed with ventriloquism from a young age. I used to obsessively practice speaking without moving my lips, practicing the different tongue and air tricks and everything. Then I got sick with Bell’s Palsy, and it hit both sides of my face at the same time. Bell’s Palsy is like a headcold that hits your facial nerves. Anyway- This meant my entire face was paralyzed. I couldn’t speak using my lips. The doctor stared at me, dumbfounded that I was able to speak very fluently without my face moving at all.