Skinny lanky Sammy, forgetting himself and hunching over, shoulders rounding in, back sticking out like a shrimp. And everytime Dean sees it, he shoves his cold finger up Sam's t-shirt, forcing a squeal out of his mouth and getting him to straighten up.
Somewhere down the line, Dean stops putting his cold hand under Sam's shirt, now he just puts a hand on Sam's back, warm and big, and Sam would know to straighten up.
Then somehow Sam would stand there, shit posture and all, and then he'd feel warmth at his back and his heart would kick a beat faster, anticipating Dean's touch. A hand to his back, then on his shoulders, pulling them back. Dean fixing up Sammy in real time.
Just realised that when I feel sad, I struggle to write dark content cuz it's inherently sad and why would I create more sad/bad situations fictionally when my real life isn't doing so good? Fic for me has been mostly about escapism too.
I have written hurt/comfort fic that directly mirrors whatever I was feeling at the time as an attempt to comfort myself.
But samboy is totally different. I need to be happy and feel good to write for it. Idk what that is but yeah. A little explanation of what's been happening in my head these past few (six) months.
I'll be moving out for university septembre and I know my mental health will improve tremendously. My comeback will be legendarrryyyyy come autumn (fave season!!!) 😖💚
I'm leveling up my game as a fujoshi by buying plushes of Soldier Boy, Dean and Sammy, because unfortunately I can't have Sam without his fuckass brother 😔 buy one GET one oryoulldie. Anywayyy.. I'll take cute pics once they get here and I haven't gotten scammed. For now. We wait. 🧍
it's important to me that sam's college friends have various theories about his childhood but are reluctant to gossip about what they figure must have been some pretty horrific abuse behind his back, so there's just kind of this black cloud around sam's childhood that everyone is quietly judging and making assumptions about without talking to him, and everything they say to each other just builds on it until it's this huge gnarly mass he can't escape from.
he doesn't even mention dean unless he's really seriously drunk, and everyone has different ideas about him, ranging from him having died tragically, to him and sam having had an incestuous relationship that sam ran away from. sam gets really defensive when people try to poke at the subject of dean, and for a lot of his friends it's the only time they've seen him properly outwardly angry, which just fuels the fire.
when it gets around that sam just up and left with this mysterious (not-dead) brother to look for their dad without a word after jess died, everyone freaks, and for once they're all saying the things usually deemed too ugly to say out loud right into sam's voicemail, in an effort to beg sam back home.
for at least a week sam is fielding constant calls about everything his friends have been thinking about him and his family his entire college career, but had been too polite to say aloud. it's a slap in the face, a bucket of cold water in the morning, a sudden reminder that he was never normal, and despite doing his very best to shed his previous life, it clung to him like a second skin, and everyone who spent more than a day around him could smell it on him.
it gets worse when they return to palo alto to take down the shapeshifter. sam might have been able to play-act at normal without dean, but he knows it's hopeless when they're together. he's scared they'll see it on him like a brand. he's not even sure what it is. this sick jumble of feelings in his chest when he looks at his brother? the preternatural way they know each other, that casts light on how irregular they are in all other interaction? the trained violence that lives in their skin?
previously, the only people ever in their orbit long enough to see him in any real capacity were victims and other hunters. and he knows with certainty that without the immediate threat of death or the liberal relationship with "normal" that makes one turn to hunting, he'll be pinned like a beetle, on display.
Sam was lucky he met Ben first when he accidentally jumped universes instead of Butcher. That bastard would've collared him and put a chip on him to keep tabs on him at all times, because Sammy is too smart to lose (he's brains AND muscles AND beauty). But then he'd fuck Sam too hard that he needs three days to recover and MM would always be pissed cuz Sammy is smart and useful and helpful and now he can't do shit but lay down and watch movies on his laptop while his hole closes back up and his brain unscrambles. 😔
how exactly did you came up with the idea to create the Samboy Chronicles? it's literally the best thing to ever happen and i can't get enough of this pairing, no matter how much I try and I don't want to. will we see more of this pairing and everyone else in the future? i'd really love to see more interactions between ben and dean when it comes to sammy and I would totally love to see more of ben going on hunting trips with the boys and see how he fares against the monster of the week.
Wow. Okay first of. I want to extend my gratitude towards your kind words. They uplift my spirit immensely. Thank you very very much 💚.
To be honest I just really like soldier boy. He's so horrible, and he reminds me of dean, but to me he's cooler and more suave and he says out of pocket things but they bother me much less than dean cuz at least he's funny (my opinion don't shoot me)
He's Dean's hotter clone too. In my opinion, because he's much older and somehow much more in control of himself and his emotions. Yes, he has ptsd, yes he had breakdowns, so did Dean, but Dean has tantrums and outbursts wayyyyyy more often.
Ben is steady like a predator is. He's dangerous and he knows exactly what sort of damage he's capable of and he doesn't need to prove anything to anyone. He's confident (see The Boys series where people fail to intimidate and make him feel bad, he has a solid sense of self, pretty much nothing can bring him down) whereas Dean will tweak out if rage baited and pull out a gun.
And Sam is involved in this ship because I love him very much and he's special and he deserves a hot super powerful superhuman boyfriend brother/daddy, okay ??????
But okay smart answer for serious now:
I really enjoy situations where someone ends up somewhere where they're not meant to be, like multiverse travel. I like Sam losing his agency in a complete new world void of supernatural creatures. And instead of him chilling and like, starting a normal life, he can't, because now there's NEW things to worry about, SUPES, enhanced humans and that's worse than actual monsters and demons n shit.
I like the wrongness of Sam getting attached to Dean's clone. His attempts at finding some sort of stability, to get hold of reality by being with this.... Guy.
I like ben being unpredictable. Freaking out Sam everyday because he's so similar yet so different from dean. And it's so scary. Because he can kill him without trying.
Oh aand most importantly. I really like the idea of this super scary guy (Ben) going along with Sam's insanity (from his pov) and still keep him around because it feels nice to have someone care and love you, even if Sam thinks you're someone else. Ben will take advantage of that, because he misses humanity and love and closeness with other people. And Sam at first, was looking at him like he was SUPERMAN. And lowkey, I think that's when Ben realised he needed to keep this guy around because it made him feel good.
Their relationship just doesn't make much sense cuz there's this side of it where, it's like, are they being incestuous or not? Because Ben doesn't have siblings and his name is different and his family is different and it's so fucking weird cuz he's the copy paste of Dean freckle for freckle. And The whole thing with Dean meeting Ben and finding out they've had a sexual relationship when he had none with sam and what that felt like.
I hope I explained that well. My brain is fried n I should be asleep but oh well.
I hope that made sense.
(also, I'm pretty sure I just thought Ben and Sam fucking was really hot in my head and everyone had to open their eyes and see as well)
Oh and as for the future, I hear you n I see your ideas. Pls bear with me and give me time to heal and be better 🙏 I have wips and half finished drafts I have to post. And asks I have yet to answer to. I just need patience swear down. I am still v much in love with them. I'm just recharging. 💚
People love shitting on later-seasons Sam, whining crap like, “I loved first seasons Sam, but now he’s so submissive, does whatever Dean wants, and he’s so weak.”
No fucking shit. That’s what happens when you grow up under a manipulative, abusive, controlling patriarch who never lets you breathe. They act like it’s Sam’s fault, but that’s the consequences of Dean’s actions.
Stop blaming the victim and dressing it up as 'valid criticism.' Later-seasons Sam is one of the most realistic portrayals of trauma and survival in a toxic, abusive relationship.
And if you hate later-seasons Sam, call him boring, or think he’s 'ruined,' then you don’t deserve any version of him. You were never a real Sam fan.
So good to hear from you again. We missed you so much here on Tumblr.
Bro sameee 😭😭😭😭😭 you're so sweet. I really hope by autumn my general mood will improve and I'll be rewatching spn starting September. (esp since I'll be moving out for school so yay)
Quick PSA abt the samboy chronicles community on tumblr. I can't access it cuz i need to verify my age. I am well over 18. I'm 22. But I will be damned before I give a random third party my ID or my face. So I have no clue what's going in there. Sorry abt that.
