i'll be your angel giving up her wings

a place for my thoughts, poetry, and photos. all thoughts are my own 

[angelsknife]

seven

[holyisthenameofmyruthlessaxe]

“tell me where dead girls Wander after their summer.”

The Collected Poems: The First Cities, ‘Memorial II’ by Audre Lorde

[heavensghost]

Out in the wind n rain

[luthienne]

Jeanette Winterson, Lighthousekeeping

[ohgaylor]

folklore aesthetic invisible string

time, wondrous time gave me the blues and then purple-pink skies and it’s cool baby, with me and isn’t it just so pretty to think all along there was some invisible string tying you to me?

[angelsknife]

a different look into exile

what if exile is taylor talking to her fans, who she is afraid will leave her if she lived her truth, in this case, if she came out?

exile brings out a similar sound heard in a previous taylor swift collaboration the last time where there is a conversation being had between two people however one take on it that i haven’t seen yet (though correct me if i’m wrong) is that maybe exile is another song, similar to mirrorball, where she is talking to her fans (and her lover). i believe exile has more similar themes to the archer, another song where taylor brings up the idea of having something to tell us... but not being able to.

lets take this verse by verse

I can see you standing, honey With his arms around your body Laughin', but the joke's not funny at all And it took you five whole minutes To pack us up and leave me with it Holdin' all this love out here in the hall

I think this verse is definitely her lover (or ex lover) talking to her. There were clear signs that Taylor was going to come out during the Lover era, only to have to quickly pivot due to her masters issue (which is understandable). However, we all remember the build-up: Taylor was nervous the whole era, we all knew something was coming, the “friday calmness” selfie and then... nothing. Just like that the era ended. i feel this is her lover seeing taylor being forced to go back to the bearding and the lies. In a weekend, Taylor would have been free but instead she went back to “him” (her beard) and her coming out was cancelled. 

I think I've seen this film before And I didn't like the ending You're not my homeland anymore So what am I defending now? You were my town, now I'm in exile, seein' you out I think I've seen this film before 

Once the coming out plan had been cancelled, Taylor’s lover is now in exile. It is why I believe this song is about Karlie(whereas other songs may be about previous gfs). We see the way a good amount of swifties treat Karlie: they drag her through the mud, comment hate on her posts, and are often just downright mean. Taylor cancelling her coming out plans is the final nail in the coffin for Karlie (for now). Whereas if Taylor had come out, her connection to Karlie would be out in the open. Even if people believe they broke up, the connection to Taylor as someone who she clearly loved, would hopefully lessen the hate Karlie receives. Right now, we are still unsure if Taylor will ever come out. Maybe the lover era confirmed to Taylor that coming out will never be an option for her until she decides to slow down her music career. in that sense, “Karlie” is saying that she’s seen how this ends. she knows that this is a position she may always be in. 

I can see you starin', honey Like he's just your understudy Like you'd get your knuckles bloody for me Second, third, and hundredth chances Balancin' on breaking branches Those eyes add insult to injury

It’s here where I believe the shift happens. No longer is this a conversation between Taylor and Karlie (who she left behind) but now it is a conversation with Taylor and her fans. Swifties are fiercely loyal to Taylor and would get their “knuckles bloody” for Taylor. Taylor did this through creating a bond of trust between her and her fans. However, if she comes out, she ultimately lied to her fans... something that may break this bond of trust. 

I think if Taylor comes out swifties will accept her, and they will support her, but i think they will wonder why it took so long or why Taylor was so afraid of their reaction. We know a lot of swifties see Taylor like a friend that they know in real life (even though they don’t). When Taylor refers to “second third and hundredth chances” she’s talking about how many times she debated coming out. This is similar to the theme in the archer that we see in the line I've got a hundred thrown-out speeches I almost said to you. 

She has wrestled with the idea of coming out for a long time, however she just couldn’t bring herself to do it because her career is in the balance. Seeing her fans trust her and be so loyal to her, hurts her, because in the end she cannot be truthful about something that truly makes her, her. It’s the eyes of her young fans who look up to her and the older fans who trust her adding insult to injury.

I think I've seen this film before And I didn't like the ending

Like I said before, if Taylor comes out, I think overall swifties will be accepting even if they were against the idea before. While some swifties will decide to leave, I think Taylor will receive an overall warm reaction to her coming out.

 However, this is a big decision and it is completely understandable that she is afraid. The film she is referring to, is similar to the “heroes” she refers to in the archer. She has seen what happens to people when they come out. 

She has seen the effects it has on their career and on their lives. She has seen others who can never come out (like she is afraid will happen to her) and must accept being alone forever. It’s why I think Ellen had a large role in the Lover era. Whatever your opinion of Ellen, many forget that she lost her career when she first came out as a lesbian. This is the “ending” Taylor doesn’t like. She doesn’t want to remain alone, but she doesn’t want to lose everything she worked for. 

I'm not your problem anymore So who am I offending now?

I think this might be referring to Big Machine and maybe her old fanbase?  We all know Big Machine most likely pushed her into hiding her sexuality in order to make it big. I’m sure she must have heard something along the lines that her coming out might “offend” people. Here she is talking to Big Machine telling them she is not their problem and therefore she can’t “offend” anyone anymore. Her old fanbase before she shifted to “pop” is often reported as feeling left behind by her. 

You were my crown, now I'm in exile, seein' you out I think I've seen this film before So I'm leaving out the side door

Taylor is extremely grateful to her fans as she always lets us know. But she is also grateful to her old fans. They are what put her here, and they are her “crown” so to speak. But if she comes out, there is still the chance that her career will take a hit and there is still the chance that people feel betrayed by her. Additionally she will once again be joining her lover that she left behind in exile. However, she’s “seen this film before” and takes the easy way out (the side door) and puts her coming out plans on hold. 

So step right out, there is no amount Of crying I can do for you

I’ve skipped ahead here, since I don’t want to go over things too much more than once. But here is where the “conversation” happens. I think these lines are Taylor’s lover again because you do not hear Taylor’s voice at all in the background. She’s urging Taylor to come out. To step into the daylight and let it go. It’s not that she can’t sympathize with Taylor but she’s tired of being in the dark too. The time for crying has passed, it’s time to take action. 

All this time We always walked a very thin line

If you listen closely, you hear Taylor’s voice again here, which is why I believe that this is addressed to the fans again. Taylor is referring to how fickle fans of any artist can be in general. She learned the hard way during reputation, when she felt that so many of her supporters dropped her. She knows success is fleeting, and that her relationship with her fans (especially her less hardcore fans that listen to her from time to time) can be lost in an instant. 

You didn't even hear me out (Didn't even hear me out) You never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs)

I think this is mostly self-explanatory, but I think this is referring to how there is a clear disconnect between some of her fans and Taylor. While there are people who believe Taylor isn’t straight (I’m here right now aren’t I?) the majority of her fans do not really think about these things (which is fine.) Maybe we as fans, aren’t really listening to her. But maybe we also feel that she isn’t listening to us. 

When she comes out, the first question everyone will ask is how “no one” knew. How was she able to hide this for so long considering she is known for “writing songs about her boyfriends”? Her fans are going to be surprised and she is saying that she gave so many signs we just chose not to see them.

All this time I never learned to read your mind (Never learned to read my mind)

I personally love this line because of the amount of layers it has. Taylor shares so much of herself in her music, that it is unsurprising that her fans feel a sense of kinship to her to the point that they feel they know her inner most thoughts. Taylor even released her diaries during the Lover era, furthering this idea that swifties know everything about her. However, despite the fact that Taylor revealed so much in her music, her fans never learned to read her mind or properly analyze her music. They never were able to crack the true meaning and muses behind her music. 

I couldn't turn things around (You never turned things around) 'Cause you never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs so many times)

Once again, he is emphasizing the point that she gave so many signs. She dropped so many hints, especially in the Lover era. The delicate speeches, rainbow dresses, You Need to Calm Down, Me! Out Now, the rainbow theme throughout Lover. Then there were the more “secretive” signs: the secret moments, dancing with her hands tied, the original gorgeous lyrics, and the fact that A Portrait of a Lady on Fire seems to be her inspiration for much of folklore. A movie about a woman being able to be free and honest about her love for another woman through.... her art, and her “muse” being “free” through her art as well. 

You never gave a warning sign (All this time) I never learned to read your mind (So many signs) I couldn't turn things around (I couldn't turn things around) 'Cause you never gave a warning sign (You never gave a warning sign) You never gave a warning sign Ah, ah

I think it’s interesting here how she changes from “you never turned things around” to “I couldn’t turn things around.” Maybe she blames herself somewhat for the way this secret kind of balled up and became so big over time. Maybe she is answering the question of whether or not she can just stay closeted forever. She’s saying no. She can’t turn things around and she can’t make things different. This is who she is. 

[hel7l7]

[leah-cultice]

He Cong by Elizaveta Porodina for Vogue China August 2020

[thats70s]

National Geographic, 1973

[heavensghost]

today’s brain rot <3

[heartlessqueen]

i’ve been pretending for so long…

[angelsknife]

hello everyone my name is m. i made this blog because i wanted to put my poetry and art somewhere separate from my other social media. i’m also a huge fan of taylor swift and her lyrics and want to be able to write my personal takes on her lyrics without clogging up people’s dashboard :) 

anyway i just started this blog so it will probably be a while before there’s any real content on it but thanks for stopping by :D