I cannot stand how people minimize Adora’s abuse.
The form of abuse Adora suffered is insidious. It’s the kind that if you attempted to lay it all out, it doesn’t sound all that awful for most people. After all, she was being praised! She was the preferred child. She was the golden child.
The thing is, the abuse she faced is just as damaging and traumatizing as a ‘classic’ examples of abuse.
A Brief and Incomplete Breakdown
The primary form of abuse Adora faced (as far as we know) was emotional abuse. Shadow Weaver manipulated, terrorized, and traumatized her in an attempt to mold her into a weapon that she could use.
Adora was placed on a pedestal. If she acted out, the people under her would be punished for her misbehavior. This bred a guilt complex in her- if bad things happened, it was her fault. She had to be good, whatever that meant to her in that moment, because if she was bad or misbehaved or wasn’t good enough, others were punished in her place.
On top of that, others around her were taught to look up to her. She couldn’t make mistakes because not only would she be letting Shadow Weaver down (and potentially getting her friends and squad mates hurt- or worse) but she would be letting everyone else down. And even further, if she messed up enough she could be the one getting hurt or tossed aside. Children need the love and affection of their caregivers. Potentially losing Shadow Weaver’s affection and attention could be terrifying for Adora.
But it wasn’t just Adora herself that had to behave well to avoid Shadow Weaver’s ire- it was the people around her. Shadow Weaver made Adora responsible for the behavior of others from a young age. When Catra misbehaved, messed up, or didn’t live up to Shadow Weaver’s expectations, Adora was blamed for it and Catra hurt- physically and emotionally. This again deepened Adora’s guilt complex. Now, other people’s behavior was her fault as well because Adora should have worked harder to make sure that her people behaved and did well. She should have checked in on them, pushed them harder, done more, anything- it’s her fault that they got in trouble. She needs to fix things. Everything has to be perfect because if it’s not, that’s dangerous. People are going to get hurt.
Adora is constantly on alert and seems to operate from a place of fear and anxiety a lot of the time. She needs to be the best, because if she isn’t, people are going to get hurt and she’s going to lose the people she cares about. She needs to do x because if she doesn’t, bad things will happen. If she isn’t perfect, if she’s not good, if she doesn’t fix things, if she, if she, if she-
The Effects of Witnessing Physical Abuse
We haven’t seen Shadow Weaver explicitly strike Adora yet as a child in the show. Even if she has, however, just witnessing how Shadow Weaver tormented Catra would leave scars. Children growing up in households where one parent is physically abused become fearful and anxious and hypervigiliant. Even if they are not being hurt directly, they have to watch someone they care about be hurt by someone else they care about.
There is a constant fear that the abuser could turn on them. Self-blame becomes a huge specter- if they had stepped in, if they hadn’t upset the abuser, if they had said something, if they were better, if they were good, would the abuser not hurt the other person anymore? Why am I not getting hurt? What did the victim do wrong? Sometimes the witness of the abuse can get angry at the victim for upsetting the abuser.
Adora grew up in an unstable, dangerous environment where as far as she knew, she could be hurt as badly as the others around her in a moment’s notice. She blames herself for a lot of what happened- after all, “if I was good, if I was better, maybe Shadow Weaver won’t hurt Catra.” She puts herself in danger to protect Catra, the same way a child might try to intervene if a parent or sibling were being abused.
Despite us never seeing Shadow Weaver hurt Adora while she was in her ‘care’, we still see Adora flinch from her and anxiety when she touches her. She tracks Shadow Weaver’s hands and squeezes her eyes shut when she pats her head, as if expecting a blow. That alone is sign that she fears violence from Shadow Weaver, whether or not she ever physically abused Adora as well.
The only physical abuse we have witnessed so far in the series comes from the episode where Shadow Weaver attempts to mind-wipe Adora.
Adora is in pain at the hands of the person who raised her.
Though we haven’t seen much evidence for physical abuse, I think it’s possible. Adora was raised to be a soldier and I wouldn’t be surprised if she faced a lot of direct or indirect physical violence as a result. A rare strike or electric shock could do a lot for Shadow Weaver’s attempts to keep her ‘in line’. A ‘I hate that you’re making me do this’ could be one way Shadow Weaver would use it to manipulate her.
After all, Adora is terrified of her touch. It could be from witnessing Catra’s abuse, but there is potential that Catra wasn’t the only one who faced physical abuse, even if she was the primary target.
Beyond that though, there is a form of physical abuse that is a bit fuzzy on whether it is emotional or physical abuse in nature that both Adora and Catra experience in spades.
Shadow Weaver is always looming over Adora and Catra. She exerts her power over them and nonverbally threatens them. She traps them into rooms and into her space and takes away their power.
Adora’s Weak Concept of Self
Like many abuse survivors, Adora has a weak sense of self. This is only compounded upon by her being raised to be a soldier. The failures and successes of herself and the other cadets were pooled together as a group and attributed to the leader- Adora. Adora’s successes then were attributed to Shadow Weaver, and so on and so forth. Adora’s sense of self was eroded away through attaching her sense of self worth to what she could do for other people and making people happy with her.
Her identity is completely wrapped up in being a leader, being a weapon, and being responsible for others. She needs to be perfect or what else is she? Adora is put in charge of Catra after seeing her get shoved around and frozen, cementing that need for perfection in her. Others suffering and success rely on her, making up a key part of her identity.
It takes seeing first hand the horrors of the Horde for her to change sides because Adora wrapped up so much of her self-worth and self-identity in being Shadow Weaver’s ace. It takes until then for her to start to break through Shadow Weaver’s manipulation. Catra knew that and could recognize on some level what Shadow Weaver was doing to the both of them- after all, she faced the overt abuse, saw how differently (and negatively) she was treated from others. Adora could not, especially with Shadow Weaver beating into her head a lack of self-identity.
Becoming She-Ra, as much as it was her idealism and innate sense of justice, was a way of clinging to a new external identity after her old one was shattered. She sees the sword as her identity, her worth tied to how good a weapon she can be for the Princesses now instead of the Horde. When it shatters, so does her sense of self and purpose.
When Adora does go against Shadow Weaver, without Catra around anymore to be a scapegoat, there is a reversal from covert to overt emotional abuse and manipulation being the primary tactic.
Shadow Weaver attempts to reinforce Adora’s lack of self worth and self concept. Whether explicitly or more subtly, she told Adora over and over and over and over again that she was nothing. That she was worthless if she wasn’t what Shadow Weaver wanted. That she didn’t matter.
All the good things about her? They were conditional on Adora’s obedience.
—————————————————————————————————–
- Shadow Weaver stalked Adora during that episode where Adora’s trauma and PTSD is on full display (the first Mystacor episode)
- In that same episode, she took Glimmer’s form and said awful, manipulative, and abusive shit to her
- Adora knows Shadow Weaver is willing and capable of killing- and knows that’s a potential consequence for failing or not ‘keeping Catra in line’; that’s a lot to put on a little kid
- How often did Shadow Weaver go a little too far (on purpose or on accident) and weaponized affection to bring Adora around and make her feel guilty for being upset or upsetting Shadow Weaver?
- When Adora rejects Shadow Weaver’s attempt to manipulate her with affection, Shadow Weaver switches gears to praise. There’s groundwork there, years of conditioning and manipulation that lead to this exchange.
- Adora’s childhood was filled with gaslighting, but that’s a topic for another post
——————————————————————————————————–
Shadow Weaver traumatized Adora to the point that she had panic attacks and a breakdown over the thought of her being around her. That alone tells you how much that woman traumatized her. Her abuse is not lesser because it was primarily psychological and covert. That just makes it harder to recognize and harder to heal. Don’t minimize it.
prguitarman
romaincrisis
turnnoffyourmind
ellievsbear
tangentwithtanner
