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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Sweet Seals For You, Always

pixel skylines
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
trying on a metaphor

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$LAYYYTER

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⁂
Claire Keane
occasionally subtle

#extradirty
Mike Driver
Keni
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

★
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
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DEAR READER

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@anna-sunberry
Legacy / Original stories / Downloads / CC finds / Resources
Cozy time
— I've never been at your house before
— I have lots of people hanging around, it's noisy
— please Cas, I live with 3 other people than me and you're saying to me about the noise?
— ok, I'm kinda nervous to actually play for you
— I bet you're amazing!
— that's for having so much trust in me but..
— please, play for me..
— ok but promise to not judge me to hard
— you're so beautiful Cas
— stop flirting
— I can't you're too sexy when you play
— Teddy
— I'm sorry but I have the urge to kiss you
— hey, why are you sad?
— I don't know.. just everything scares me a lot
— for example?
— for example us
— us?
— yeah.. I've never been in any relationships and.. I'm so scared that I will ruin everything
— how can you ruin everything?
— I don't know, but what if?
— everything is going to be fine with us
— how are you so sure?
— I like you so much Caspian, and I know it may be scary to start relationships but I am not planning to go anywhere from you, I want to be with you
— Teddyyyyy, my Teddy.. you.. omg you're the best
— no please don't go home, please stay
— Caspian, I need to do homework
— but I don't wanna you to go
— I live across the street, we'll meet again tomorrow, I'll text you
— can we talk on the phone before going to sleep?
— of course
— I love you Teddy..
— omg
— it's too soon? yeah too soon..
— nooo
— I'm so sorry.. you don't have to say it back..
— oh my sweet boy, of course I love you too!! Caspian I love you!
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Play me your music
— hey, wanna listen to my song?
— your song?
— yeah..
— of course I want, but are you sure?
— I don't know if it's any good, but I'd like if you listen to it and tell me what do you think
— but I'm kinda biased, I love everything you do
— nooo don't be like that, just tell me your honest opinion
— okey
— ready? I'm pressing play
"I really hope he likes the song.. I wrote it for him.."
— omg Cas... that's..
— is it that awful?
— no, it's beautiful.. and your voice is so angelic omg how are you doing this
— you really like it?
— yeees
— omg thank you!
— hahaha you're too cute
— if you want I can play it to you on the guitar
— seriously?
— yep, if you want of course
— I want it so much
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Reading together
"I just need that book, where is it?"
— hey handsome
— Caspian, do you hear me?
— ah? oh? Teddy?
— what are you doing here?
— I just need to find that book I wanted to read for a long time
— do you need any help?
— no, but I need kisses
— any time
"when he kisses me I feel butterflies"
— is that the book you've been searching?
— how did you..?
— I don't know, I just feel like that's what you wanted
— do you wanna that I read it aloud to you?
— I have to go to classes
— boooooring
— aren't you going?
— nope
— but you've promised to go to school
— I am at school, I never promised to go to classes actually
— Cas..
— I don't wanna go, I'll go next time, I just wanna read the book
— ok, enjoy the book Cas
— thank you Teddy
"I just want lay with him together and read the book aloud for him, do I ask too much?
PREVIOUS | NEXT
Confessions
— so you wanted to talk
— yeah
— you can start
"keep it cool, keep it cool Teddy. OMG HE IS SO HOT WHY HE LOOKS SO HOT?"
— so about yesterday's misunderstanding
— the kiss?
— mhm.. so about that..
— I just want to clarify something
— you want to clarify the kiss?
— yeah, I really liked kissing you yesterday and I'm not sorry for that
— ok?
— but I'm sorry for kissing you without your permission
— oh..
— and I'd like to kiss you again if you don't mind
— you wanna kiss me again? what?
— if you'll let me
— go on
"but why is he kissing me? does he like me or what? that's impossible"
— Teddy, stop..
— ok ok sorry
— wait!
— I'm sorry, I should go, I've just ruined everything even more
— you didn't ruin everything
— but you've asked to stop..
— yes because I don't wanna kiss you until we talk
— what talk?
— so you want only to kiss me without any talking and explanation, is that your plan?
— not really, I don't have a plan to be honest
— why did you kiss me?
— because I wanted to..
— so you just wanted to kiss someone and there were spare lips? you not even a gay so why are you doing that Teddy? is that kind of joke or what?
— no no it's not a joke, I really wanted to kiss YOU Cas.. I don't know, it's just happened
— you know what.. you're an awful person for doing things like that
— Cas..
— don't call me that
— I just like you..
— don't say noncence
— but that's true, I really like you, that's why I kissed you. I didn't plan to kiss you that fast but you was there, you was so close, looking so pretty and sexy, and then you've asked if I had a crush, of course I have, did you even see yourself in the mirror? you're the most handsome person I've ever seen, how can I NOT have a crush on you?
— you have what? you what? wha..?
— Cas.. I like you so much
— but you're not..
— if I'll hear "you're not a gay" again i'll just jump from the bridge
— but you've talked about girls
— and?
— and your school crush?
— I was 7 ok? We all make mistakes
— so.. do you really like me?
— I like you a lot Caspian
— and you're gay?
— on 95%
— 5% is saved for school crush?
— yeah, she was nice to me, she deserves this 5%
— hahaha I can't you're so funny Teddy
— may I kiss you? for real now..
— gosh of course
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Not a good morning
"What have happened yesterday? Why did he kissed me when I asked who he has crush on? He doesn't have crush on me, does he? No that's impossible"
"But the kiss.. that should mean something right? Or it meant nothing and that was a joke? Is he trying to make fun of me?"
"I hate mornings"
"I want to talk to Caspian, but I don't know how.."
"why did I kiss him yesterday?"
"maybe I should text him and say sorry.."
"will that be weird?"
"what if he thinks that I didn't like kissing him?"
— hey, good morning.. sorry for yesterday let's meet today after school? I want to talk
"why he isn't replying.."
"gosh he just texted me, he wanna meet me today.. I don't wanna see him my heart aches when I see him.. what have you done Teddy, why did you kiss me?"
— 2pm?
— works for me
— where?
— what about this new coffeeshop?
— ok
"he is so mad at me yes?"
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Fri(end)s
— thank you for coming
— thanks for inviting
— yeah..
— so you wanted to talk?
— about that, yeah.. I.. I'm so sorry for reacting like that
— what are you talking about?
— Cas please, you know what I'm talking about
— no idea
— school, lunch, prom talks
— ahhh, prom talks
— I don't mind going together
— really?
— you're my best friend, of course
— won't it be weird?
— why?
— two male friends are going to prom together?
— I see nothing wrong in it
— people may start thinking that we're dating
— first is that I don't care what other people think
— oh
— second is that I care about you, and you wanna go to prom and you need a date, so I will be your date, unless you'll find someone more attractive
— but you're attractive
— mhm.. there are more attractive people than me
— example?
— for example you
— nooo
— yes
— you can't say things like that
— why not?
— too gay
— did you forget that I don't care what people think?
— even if it's my thinking?
— so youy wanna be invincible or what?
— yep
— no way!
— haha, you know I wanted to ask you something
— what is that?
— nah, I've changed my mind
— are you serious? tell me!!!!
— nope
— I'll tickle you if you won't say
— I don't afraid of tickles
— oh, are you sure?
— yep
— hey stoooop
— tell me your question
— hahahah noooo please
— you said you don't afraid of tickles
— I've changed my mind
— you're changing your mind so quickly. tell me the question and I'll stop
— ok ok I'll tell you, just stop
— I'm listening
— do you.. do you by any chance have a crush on anyone?
— what?
— I said it's dumb
— and if I say yes?
— oh..
— oh?
— may I ask who is that?
"what? why Teddy is kissing me? what? why?"
— Teddy..
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Bittersweet
"what the hell did I do? Why I had to be that rude to him at the cafeteria?"
"he... he is ashamed of me or what? why he reactad that way when I told that we can go to prom together? i didn't imply anything, only to go as friends.. is that weird for two male friends to go to prom together AS FRIENDS?"
"he run away from cafeteria and I didn't see him till the end of the day. I even couldn't appologize.. I'm awful person, yes?"
"I don't want to go to school again.. that is going to be awful to see him, I don't know what I should do. Should I appologize or should I just forget abut that?"
"he was so sweet asking me to go to prom with him, why did I rejected him? I will never have another chance to go with him.."
"I wish I wasn't so unsecure and just be sexy and.. and strong tell him about my feelings and kiss him.. but I'm so small and scared, I just want him to be mine"
"I don't wanna lose him.. I'm too deep in my feelings that I can't handle it without him.. oh gosh what do I do"
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Prom talks
"I don't understand.. why is he keep on repeating that I want to impress someone, it was just a joke.. and the only person I want to impress is him anyways.."
"It was much easier when he didn't go to scholl. Now I have to see him every second in my life and think about that feelings I'm having"
— hey guys you know what will be in one month?
— what?
— school prom
— oh
— I'm not going
— Teddy are you serious?
— yeah, I don't have a date
— it's still one month before it to find a girl to go with you
— I don't wanna go with any of the girls from our school
— why not?
— I just don't like them ok?
— what about Mindy?
— please Mindy was my crush at 1st grade, and we're in high school now
— so you're not going to prom because you don't like any of the girls?
— yes
— I also have nobody to go with me, and it's my first day at school so I don't think I'll find anyone that fast, maybe we can go without dates?
— actually you can't attend without a date
— then we can go together?
— Cas, are you kidding?
— it's just as an option so we can go
— I'm not that desperate
— so you think I am?
— em.. guys?
— you think I am that desperate that I ask my friend to go with me to prom just because I want to enhoy event?
— I didn't mean that
— then what have you meant? That you don't wanna go to prom with some gay yes?
— no Cas, please
— you know, you're right, I acted desperate.. forget it
— Cas..
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Library encounters
"One more school day to survive. After that talk with mum I'm feeling relieved, even though Caspian won't accept my feelings, my family is supporting me and that matters the most"
— hey?
— Caspian? what are you doing here?
— going to school as you wanted me to
— but you didn't want to go there?
— you.. you don't want me there?
— noo I didn't mean that, I'm just surprised you've changed your mind
— it's kinda boring at hope and here I can spend more time with you
— what class are you at?
— class 2
— oh we're at different classes
— oh no
— so are you planning on going every day from now on?
— I guess so, I hope I'll get well with my classmates
— Arnold is in your class, so you're gonna be fine
— and what about Harry?
— he is in mine class
— oh we had a cool gym run yesterday
— glad to hear
— you should come next time
— I don't need that
— why are you so stubborn?
— because I don't wanna do things I don't like
— but..
— Cas, that you who want to impress someone, not me so please stop trying to convince me to go to the gym
— fine..
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These feelings are confusing
"I don't know what is happening with me.. I am feeling something weird.."
— hey, I'm going to gym with Harry today, are you joining?
— nope
— Teddy please..
— no way that I will go to the gym for the second time in ONE week, once a month is my limit
— don't you wanna become stronger?
— not really
— ok.. as you want
— honey, are you feeling ok? lately you look like you're somewhere deep in your thoughts
— yeah mum, I'm fine
— you don't look fine, you know that you can talk to me about anything?
— you know what?
— what Caspian?
— to be honest I wanna impress someone, so I'm gonna hit that gym for real!
— good luck?
— sorry..
— is that your friend, Caspian, right?
— yeah.. he wants me to go with him to gym but I don't wanna
— why not?
— he wants to impress someone, but I don't..
— you two become so close
— yes.. sometimes it feels like we shouldn't spend that much time together
— why?
— mum.. I.. I don't know, that scares me so much
— sweetheart, what is going on?
— I kinda feel something for him..
— oh..
— and not in a friendly way, I mean.. I feel something romantically?
— honey
— do you think you like him as a boy?
— I'm sorry mum..
— why are you sorry, sweetheart?
— for having feelings for a boy..
— that's completely fine honey, don't feel sorry for that
— does that means I'm gay? are you disappointed in me?
— oh honey, I will never be disappointed in you, no matter who you love, for me it doesn't matter if you're gay or bi or straight.. that changes nothing for me, I will always support you
— really?
— of course, come here my little bean
— I'm there for you, always
— mum... thank you so much
— love you my sweetheart
— your support means a lot for me
— so about Caspian? if you really like that boy, maybe it's time to have a talk with him?
— I don't think he likes me back
— do you know if he likes boys?
— yeah, he does, but I believe there is someone he likes already
— don't give up, ok?
— ok mum, thank you so much
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Gym buddies
"I've told Teddy about my old school and that I got bullied because I'm gay, good way of making new friends yes? I'm so so so dumb, he won't even talk to me anymore after that, yes? Or he will.."
"He was so supporting while I was telling the story and he promised he will be near to make sure I'm safe.. I'm crushing on him so hard and I don't think this is good idea, because he is definitely not gay, I remember he was talking about girls with me.. gosh, I just wanna kiss him.. he is so perfect and sweet.. he gave me his beanie because I was cold..... my heart aches when I think about him oh no"
Today Teddy invited Caspian to go to gym together with Arnold and Harry, and that got Caspian very stressed because he IS NOT READY to see Teddy working out, that will be a lot for him
— hey, glad you came, how you doing? Didn't see you at school
— I'm fine, just lazy and skipping school, soon I'll come
— yeah, don't skip a lot, then it will be so hard to catch up
— Hi Caspian, nice to see you
— Hi Harry, thanks for inviting me
— anytime, hope you're better at sports than Teddy
— hey, stop embarrassing me
— oh Teddy please, you embarrass yourself
— I bet you can do at least 10 times
— your trust in me so big, I hope I can do at least 2
— hahahah I believe in you Teddy, go Teddy, go!
"ok that's good that Teddy is bad at sports, at least I'm still sane"
— Caspian, how many push ups did you make? Like 4?
— actually it was 3, I'm not proud of myself but I didn't work out for a long time..
— that's embarrassing, you should go to gym with me 3 times a week
— I will go if Teddy will join us as well
— but why should I go?
— because you can't leave me alone!
— Harry will be with you, you won't be alone
— anyways, I'm not suffering alone
— both of you should go actually! How are you going to impress girls if you can do only 3 push-ups?
— oh.. I'm kinda not interested in girls
— so you think boys shouldn't be impessed, Caspian?
— oh my god, you're not leaving me alone yes?
— you're right haha
— Monday, Wednesday, Friday 5pm, don't late, I'm waiting you both!
— ok Harry, ok
— I've gotta go, see ya soon
— so do you join me?
— I don't want to go to the gym to be honest..
— then I'll be suffering and you'll just play video games?
— sounds like a plan
— you're awful friend Teddy, did you know that?
— I don't need to impress anybody.. so
— it's not like I need to impress anyone
— yeah, it didn't sound like that
— I just decided to agree because Harry asked to.. I don't wanna impress anyone, I even don't have anyone to impress to begin with
— ok
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Dark days stories
— so tell me, what's going on?
— what do you mean?
— why not going to school? you have to do that at some point you know..
— why are you always asking about that?
— because you just moved there, and you never went to school.. you need to go to school so you can go to college
— what if I don't want to go to college?
— so that's the reason you're skipping school?
— no it's not that.. I'm just.. scared
— ..
— I had tough times at my old school and I'm scared that it will be same here and I know it's so dumb but that's what I feel and I can't get enough courage every morning to actually go to school but not pretent that I'm going there in front of my family
— did.. did something happened to you at school?
— mhm..
— sorry, sorry I shouldn't ask, that's not my business..
— they bullied me all the time.. I was their favorite toy..
— omg, I'm so sorry Cas.. I'm
— it started in middle school, I was always bullied for my interests and hobbies, these bullied always throw away my lunch, punch me and in high school when.. when they've learned about my orientation it got worse..
— is..is that the reason you moved here?
— partly, my dad got a job offer there but he didn't want to move because he loved our home and there is family and friends but after another day when I came home in tears he decided to accept that offer
— I shouldn't bother you with my sad stories
— no, I'm always here to listen you, Cas please don't close, you can tell me anything you want ok?
— I'm so ashamed for everything.. I hate thinking about what happened but I can't stop these thoughts and I'm so afraid it will be the same at new school..
— It won't, we don't have bad kids at school, we don't have bullies, it's safe there, trust me
— maybe you're right..
— I will always be near you, don't worry Cas, I'll be there for you always ok?
— you mean that?
— yes! Trust me please, I'll protect you from everything that brings you pain
— thank you Teddy, you're such a good friend
PREVIOUS | NEXT
Baby it's cold outside
"today I've met Teddy'sa best friends, they're so fun and cool. I never had anything like he has, he is so lucky.."
"I really hope I can be friends with all of them, this seems so exciting to actually have friends who you can play different games with and have fun, playing snowballs.."
— I still don't have any of your photos to set as contact picture
— put some cat there
— nah, send photo!
— I don't have any selfies..
— take one now then
"ok, what should I send him? I look awful everywhere.. I don't wanna send him my ugly selfies omg"
— you send yours first!
— but I've asked first
— not sending any selfies until you send me yours!
— gosh, here you go
"OMFG HE LOOKS SO HOT I CANT"
— pretty!
— your turn
— FINALLY
— happy?
— yep
— ok
— so, wanna hang out tomorrow?
— yes, when?
— after school, talking about school are you going tomorrow?
— nah..
— but
— please let's not talk about that
— see you at the park at 2pm?
— will your friends also join?
— oh, no they can't tomorrow
— so there will be just us
— yeah, is that ok?
— sure, see you at 2pm
"he wants to hang out with me, only two of us! omg he really wants to be friends with me, I can't believe.. he is so cool, I'm so scared tho"
"why it is so damn cold"
— here you are!
— hi
— hi
— so.. how is your day?
— good, everything is good, thanks
— glad to hear it
— aren't you cold?
— no, I'm fine, tell me about your day
— Cas, you're absolutely freezing
— don't worry about me
— sorry for inviting you to park, I didn't know it was that cold out here and that you'll be wearing such light clothes, we have to go inside somewhere
— I'm sorry for not wearing warmer clothes... I should have checked forecast..
— you're giving me your beanie?
— I hope it will be warmer for you..
— but now you will get cold
— I will be all right, let me take care of you, I don't wanna you to catch cold
— thank you Teddy, you're so caring
— I will always care about you, you're my friend
— you're mine too..
— wanna ice skate? It may warm you up
— will you be mad if I tell you I've never ice skate in my life?
— I'll never be mad at you! Let's go, I'm awful at that as well
— let's skate untill somebody falls
— BUT I DON'T WANNA FALL
— ok, then I'll have to fall before you, gotcha
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New friends
Morning at school was pretty boring for Teddy, nothing going on just classes and dumb assignments
He didn't notice Caspian at school, so there are 2 options, or he is in another class than Teddy or he is skipping his first day at new school
Teddy had hopes he'll meet Caspian during lunch but he didn't see him there
— hiya
— oh Teddy, hi
— are you skipping school today?
— yeah..
— why tho?
— that's dumb
— going to school? agree but I wanted you to meet my friends!
— no not going to school, my reason to skip is dumb
— tell me
— so.. your friends, yes?
— mm, changing topics, ok I'll let it slide bc I'm really excited them to meet you!
— are you free after classes?
— sure, let's meet at rec center, I'll bring my friends over, we can play some board games?
— sure, this sounds good
— so guys meet Caspian my new neighbour
— I'm Arnold
— I'm Harry
— nice to meet you all
— ok let's play
— why is it so hard?
— don't tell me you're playing simbles for the first time?
— second time..
— omg, I've got to teach you a lot!
— so Harry, what do you think, do you like Caspian?
— he is nice and funny
— so you don't mind that he joins our friend's group?
— I don't mind
— where is Arnold and Caspian?
— I don't know, let's find them
— here you are!
— hey, NOT FAIR
— hahahaha
— I thought you've lost and you had this mischevious plan?
— sorry, let's play!
— I'd better build a snowman
— hey Arnold don't kill the guy
— this is so fun!
— please tell me you like Caspian and you don't mind him joining our friend's group
— I don't mind, he is cool
— oh thank's god
— why are you so nervous about that tho?
— I..I don't know I just feel that he has to be my friend you know?
— yeah..
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Late night chats
"dear diary, today I've met cute guy, he is my neighbour and he came to my house to greet me.
I wasn't so happy to move there, another small city where everybody knows everyone, same shit as in the town I've used to live.
But I'm very grateful for my family that they'd moved because of me and my.. situation in old school. I really hope this won't happen here or I don't know what to do then.
Sooo, about my new neighbour, his name is Teddy and he is OMFG HE IS SO CUTE EVEN HIS NAME IS CUTE I CAN'T AND HE IS ALSO VERY HANDSOME ahhhh.. I'll never get a boy like him 😭 And I bet he isn't gay.. so yeah, I have 0 chances, but at least we can be friends with him"
"I wanna play him this song so bad, but I need to practice more to be good at it"
— hey whatcha doin?
— just finished playing guitar
— YOU PLAY GUITAR?
— yeah, why?
— sexy!
"OMG HE SAID SEXY!!!!!!!"
— oh
— I wish I can play the guitar, all girls would be mine
"girls.. he likes girls, I've told ya"
— aren't they yours already?
— nah, I'm kinda outsider at school
— sorry..
— no no it's fine, it's not like I'm getting bullied or something like that, just I'm not popular and I just talk to my 2 best friends at school
— it's great you get friends at school
— I also want you to meet them, they'll like you you're so cool
"he said I'm cool"
— it would be nice
— do you miss your friends?
— what friends?
— em.. the ones you had back in the place you moved from?
— oh.. I.. I didn't have any close friends there
"great, now he will think you're sociopath"
— I hope we can be close friends with you, you seem cool
— yeah, me too, thank you for today, that was so sweet
— anytime
"he'd like to be my close friend.. ok it actually sounds good"
"everything will be all right Cas, nobody knows you here, you'll be just fine"
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Meeting new neighbour
— hey, you've just moved? I'm Teddy I live across the street
— oh I'm Caspian, can't believe I've got to meet a neighbour on the first day we moved
— it's usual for this neighbourhood to greet their neighbours, they're all acting friendly and cute with each other and then gossip behind their backs lol
— are you going to gossip about me as well?
— gosh no, I'm not 40 years old lady, I don't gossip
— glad to hear, so Teddy, right?
— yes, let's exchange numbers? We can hangout after school at my place if you wanna
— hang out after school?
— yep, I've got two frinds they also live in neighbourhood, so I can introduce you
— do you wanna be friends with me?
— yes, why? are you a serial killer?
— lol not of course
— all serial killers say the same
— stoooop it hahaha, I am just surprised that you are making friends so easy
— that's a survival skill you know, so wanna go to my place to play some vieo games?
— sure
— watch out, there is a monster on your right
— I don't see anyone
— IT'S ON YOUR RIGHTS
— OMG I'm dead
— you're awful!!!!
— let's play some bowling then, never seen anyone to be THAT bad at gaming
— hey, it was my first time playing this game!
— all the games are similar, can't believe you couldn't survive more than 5 minutes
— I just play other games
— like what?
— something cozy and calm
— like My Sims?
— yeah
— cute
— hey guys, it's time for my weekend vlog and finally I have something exciting to share. So I've got new neighbour and he is going to go to my school as well. So we played some video games today with him
— and he is absolutely awful at games, can you imagine? I had to switch to bowling game instead because I can't see how he was struggling with shooter lol. Anyways that was a nice day today, I'm really glad I've made new friend. Ok byeee, see you tomorrow!
"ok I have to edit this fast and go have some dinner, I'm starving"
NEXT