* DO GOODER.

i’m not looking for perfect, just for somebody who holds it down when i’m hurting. lifts me up when i lose. there will be days when i can’t function. there will be nights i won’t sleep. ANNABEL CASTILLO ! * i’m not looking for perfect, just someone to take it slow.

[annabelcastillo]

elahehelabid​

“The usual, obviously. What do you think I am, a monster?” Ela teased, a soft smile lingering on her lips as she ignored the heated summer sun beating down on them in favor of watching the woman in front of her. There were some moments that caused her to wonder what exactly it was that drew her to Annabel, what it was that made her want to run head first into things like moving in together and becoming official instead of running away from the commitment that those decisions brought. Then, there were times that answered that question for her; the times they spent wrapped in each other in the early hours of the morning, the nights they spent listening to the Oregon waves lapping against the shore, the times Grace asked for both of their hands while walking and Bel happily complied, or moments like this, when just looking at the woman caused her heart to melt in ways she hadn’t felt in a very long time.

Part of her couldn’t help but feel guilty. Guilty that it hadn’t worked out with Avery, guilty that she had hurt Sanem in a way that may not ever be forgiven in an effort to distance herself from the very idea of love and commitment, guilty that she felt like she wanted to actually try this time, that the drive and the effort to be good and loyal and committed was there with Annabel. It was something she couldn’t explain, not yet anyway, but standing there with a box of Annabel’s things in her hands it felt right and that’s all that mattered. “We did,” Ela laughed, amused with the woman’s amazement. “We can feel it out, see if I change my mind in a month, how does that sound?” A pause and then, “I’m teasing, just so you know. Right now it feels… right. I don’t think I’m going to change my mind in a month, or even two.”

It was easy to forget that someone cared to know her as well as she knew them. Her ex-wife hadn’t even bothered to memorize her favorite flower, let alone a favorite meal. “I’m not saying you’re a monster, but I’m also not saying you aren’t. It’s in the to-be-determined stage,” she retorted, grin wide. Tough day or not, there was no other way Bel would’ve wanted it to go. Box by box, her apartment downtown was emptied in favor of Ela’s home, a place she’d considered a sanctuary more than once. Everything about the home seemed to fit better than her apartment ever had, but maybe that had everything to do with the person she’d be sharing it with. It was terrified, really, to commit herself to someone known for lacking such a trait. Still, there was no doubt of trust between them. Both had demons, but didn’t everyone?

“A trial for a month and if you don’t like it, money back guarantee?” The joke was nothing more than that; a silly phrase that meant nothing. “I hope not, because I’ll never get that apartment back and I don’t know if I see myself binge watching anything anywhere other than your couch at this point,” she shrugged, tone playful and soft. “I’m excited for this -- for all of this and I’m glad that we’re doing this. While I adored my apartment, I like being here. I feel safe and happy and it’s nice not having to wake up early to go home for scrubs. Which, by the way, let’s go ahead and call no judgement on how many I have. It’s a lot. A growing collection, but for a good cause.” Pausing by a stack of boxes, Bel released a quiet sigh of relief. “We really did this, didn’t we?”

[annabelcastillo]

alli-pellisier​

With a small smile, Allison asked for two more glasses of wine. Sitting beside the former brunette, Allison couldn’t but help but wonder what prompted the change. Though there was a small flash of reason that formed in the forefront of her mind. In a town as small as Redwood Bay, it was infinitely hard to keep secrets, especially when it came to personal affairs. From what she had been told, the nurse had recently been seen moving boxes into a home that belonged to a certain artist. Feeling the buzz from the alcohol, Allison supposed she felt bold enough to ask. “I think I might have seen you around in Sunstone, have you been enjoying it so far?” 

It seemed almost normal for her only interactions outside of work to be at places like this one. It was easy to converse over alcohol, even if there wasn’t necessarily much she wanted or needed to say. Then again, wine always seemed to make her thoughts flow a little more smoothly and words the same. “Yeah, I just recent moved back. It’s not my first time there, but, it’s been almost a year and I have to say, I missed it.” When she’d been with her ex-wife, Sunstone had been home. For a year now, downtown had been that for her. To say she wasn’t excited to be back would’ve been a lie. “It’s really just as nice as I remember it being. I’m excited to get settled back in. I’m guessing that means you live around there?”

[annabelcastillo]

kaiyaeldridge​

Kaiya hadn’t been planning on getting into any carnival games, but the clear challenge that was being presented completely changed everything. If Annabel was going to throw it out there that the game was impossible, Kai was absolutely going to step in and do it anyway. “I’ll toss a few bucks in the ring for it, what the hell,” Kai shrugged, digging a few crumpled up dollars out of her back pocket to toss on the table in front of them. Flipping the rings in her hands a bit, Kai got a sense of their weight before turning to Annabel with a grin. “I got this. Which prize do you want? I’ll aim to get whatever it is.”

It was rare that Bel’s competitive nature came through for the world to see. She was okay with letting others show off what skills they had or lacked, all while doing her own thing. In a moment of weakness though, she’d blown through what small bills she’d had, leaving her with nothing below a twenty and a desire to throw that in next. “You sure? I’m telling you, it’s impossible,” she warned, blonde locks shaking as she grinned at the woman willing to try. “The stuffed bear in the corner,” she pointed out. “I think my girlfriend’s daughter would love it. If you win it, seriously, I’ll owe you. Whatever you want.”

[annabelcastillo]

leslie-bowman​

Redwood Bay Carnival

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Leslie laughed in response. “I feel like I’m fucking drowning in nostalgia.” She made a face and placed a hand over her stomach, mimicking a phantom pain. “Just the idea of all that sugar and oil makes me sick, but I will absolutely be getting some later.” She pursed her lips before a slow smile spread over her features. “I don’t agree with a lot of your choices, but that’s a pretty good one. I have a flask and in the spirit of Redwood’s event of the year, I’m feeling generous.” She jerked her head towards the stand she noticed earlier and started walking in the direction. As she settled in line, she looked over at Bel and quirked her eyebrows. “So, uh… You and Ela, huh?”

"I thought I was the only one. I remember when my parents and I moved here. I’m pretty sure it’s the first time I’d ever had something like this,” she grinned, happy that Redwood was a place she’d gotten to call home after sixteen years of life in Florida. “You’d think I’d know better than to eat this stuff, but it’s too good to pass up. Arteries forgive me.” For the most part, Bel played it safe in every aspect of her life. She took small steps, overthought everything before moving forward, and never failed to second guess the decisions she did make. With Ela though, she’d failed to do any of that. “You’re feeling generous? No offense, but did something major happen?” Her words were teasing and nothing more than a playful jab to someone who could handle it. “Yeah,” she nodded, wondering if everyone knew about them. “Not sure if that’s a good question or not.”

[annabelcastillo]

closed for: @kaiyaeldridge​

location: carnival.

“Don’t even try it,” she warned, six dollars lost and no prize in hand. “I’m pretty sure it’s rigged. I’ve dropped six dollars and a lot of skill. Still empty handed.” All she’d wanted was to win something for Grace, but clearly not even a small prize would be coming home with her. “If you think you can do any better, go for it. I used to be amazing at the ring toss back in the day. My parents would always let me be the one to do the tossing and guess who came home with a goldfish every single time. Me. it was me,” she continued on, stepping back for someone else to have a turn. “If you win anything, I’ll stand corrected and accept that I just don’t have it anymore. If you don’t, well, point proven.”

[annabelcastillo]

closed for: @leslie-bowman​

location: carnival.

"Welcome to Redwood Bay’s event of the year,” she teased, spirits high and happiness the same. The last year of her life had been nothing but lingering doom and darkness, her separation and divorce driving her further into the distance of everything she once loved. With the paperwork signed and heart on the mend, she couldn’t have been any further from said darkness. Now, there was only room for the happiness she deserved. “I’ve already had a few things from the food stands and I have to say, the deep Oreos are probably the best, yet worst thing I’ve ever had the pleasure of trying. There’s a slushy stand and all I can think about is pouring a little vodka in one,” she shrugged, smile wide. “I’m not saying it’s the best idea, but I bet it’d taste real good.”

[annabelcastillo]

theveronicablackwood​

Location: REDWOOD CARNIVAL || REDWOOD FAIRGROUNDS. @redwoodstarter

Status: OPEN STARTER.

There was nothing quite like the fresh smell of deep fried butter or the squeaky sound of rickety carnival ride equipment in need of some serious WD-40. If Veronica closed her eyes, she could still remember the sights and sounds from when she first started coming to Redwood bay’s annual spring Carnival in the 1970’s. It had been a yearly tradition for the Blackwood kids. As they grew older, not only did they enjoy overloading on sugary cotton candy before riding the tilt-awhirl- till they threw up, but on more than one occasion she and her siblings partook in sneaking smokes and underage drinking behind the port-o-john’s. So, there she was at 5:30 in the afternoon on opening day of the carnival as per usual. She walked the grounds with a happy glint of nostalgia in her eyes. She was contemplating an order of deep fried Oreo’s when she caught sight of a familiar face in the distance. “Well, well, well. Look at what the cat dragged in.” Veronica laughed as she approached them, a welcome smile on her face. “I didn’t expect to see you here this early in the day.”

Despite being drained from the twelve hour shift she’d pulled the morning before, the idea of missing the carnival was far too disappointing to pass on. So, with a quick text to Ela, a shower, and a tall cup of strong coffee, she was off. If anything, she wanted to look around to see what exactly the gathering had to offer. Without even realizing it, Bel found herself in line for ice cream and after a few pleasant greetings, she got just that. It looked amazing and smelled even better. So much for a hearty dinner, right? “I’m capable of having fun too, y’know? I’m not all about work.” As an ER nurse, it took up most of her time, but she refused to give up a life outside of it all, even if she felt as if she were running on fumes for most of it. “I couldn’t let everyone else try out the sweets before me.”

[annabelcastillo]

@annabelcastillo added a new photo.

favorite part about a carnival? the food, of course. 😋🍴

[annabelcastillo]

landon-reid

His eyes widened at his use of the word partner, a slight inner panic happening. “I meant- rotating lovers. We’re not exclusive,” Landon attempted to explain. Although he knew what he meant, there was no telling how she would have taken it. “They’re both great though.” Landon murmured to himself for a moment, thinking about how happy he felt with both Riley and Angel. Happiness was a rare emotion for him, but it started to feel more normal. “Oh yeah? Well, good for you,” he nodded. Landon had no desire to get involved with her love life; gossip wasn’t his cup of tea. Besides, his sister’s drama was all he could really tolerate. “Uh, I mean…,” he scratched the back of his neck, “Not completely. It’s definitely a lot further along than before, but I’m a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to work,” he shrugged. “What about you? Save any lives recently?” 

"Question. Is a partner something you’d ever be interested in, or is rotating lovers exactly what you’re looking for?” It was none of her business, but to say she wasn’t totally intrigued by the idea itself would’ve been a lie. She’d never be able to balance more than one relationship at a time, even if it were nothing serious. “That’s good, yeah? That you have two great options in case you ever want to kick the rotating lovers idea.” She wouldn’t push toward anything, but to know the options were there must’ve been something to enjoy? “I feel like being a perfectionist at something as complicated as what you’re doing can cause a major headache.” With her line of work, it was simple; save lives and ease pain as quickly and efficiently as possible. With his, there were billions of options he could’ve taken. “It’s been slow at the hospital. Nothing serious. I think the most I’ve done are a few stitches here and there. Nothing too exciting.”

[annabelcastillo]

alli-pellisier​

Drawing her hands together and resting them on the countertop, Allison thought of her answer carefully. Mostly when anyone went from one extreme hair color to another, she automatically boiled it down to some life-changing event or a phase. Still, with a smile, she nodded. “Honestly you look great, I think it really makes your eyes pop more. I’m sure it’s gotten you plenty of suitors knocking on your door too.” Allison chuckled softly before waving over the bartender to ask for a glass of wine, “Need a refill?” She asked the woman beside her. 

The compliment didn’t fail to put her at ease; she craved the acceptance of others, even if she barely knew them. "I don’t know about that,” she grinned, head shaking. The only suitor she needed had already been knocking at her door far before the change. “Besides, I think it’ll take more than a hair change for that to happen.” In need of more, Bel nodded, smile wide as she looked over at the other. “I don’t know of anyone that would turn down a refill on wine and if I do, I don’t know if I can trust them.”

[annabelcastillo]

alli-pellisier​

Another day, another panic attack. It was a common occurrence lately, especially with the comeuppance of her ex in town. Alli’s brows furrowed at the screen of her phone, a text back from the dancer who she hoped would be able to get out of her classes soon, but it seemed it’d be a longer night and that she’d have a chance to see her at the manor later. She was deeply proud of her but right at that moment she definitely needed her comfort. What would have to do for now was a cocktail. Allison slid next to another woman, not taking in much of her features until she heard her voice. Curiously she turned over, eyes widening slightly. “N-no you’re fine, sorry. I didn’t realize you’d change your-” Allison pointed to her locks and touched her own. “Welcome to the club?” 

The hair was still something that Bel was getting used to, even over a month into the change. It was supposed to signify a new start and in many ways, it did. She and Ela had taken a step forward, pushing past the insecurities left behind by her ex-wife. It was a big step, but it was a step she needed and craved all the same. “Yeah,” she hummed, wondering if it was something she actually pulled off. “Not sure how I’ll stay in the club,” she added, soft grin settling on her lips. “Please tell me I don’t look like an idiot. Some days I’m feeling it and some days I miss the old look. Seriously, give me honesty.”

[annabelcastillo]

landon-reid​

Landon looked back and shook his head with a slight grin. Their last interaction had been more enjoyable than he’d like to admit. “Least favorite? I’m upset I made the list at all,” he teased. Grimacing at the thought of ‘dating advice’, he sucked air in through his teeth and reluctantly said, “I think having a steady partner disqualifies me from that section. Especially when I’ve got two.” Nothing was official with either of them, but being able to call them and see them regularly had to count for something, even if it was just for sex. “Are you struggling in that department? Cause my advice would be to not give too much of yourself, or whatever. Don’t tell them your last name,” he winked.

“You did say I was distracting you the entire time we were talking and for the record, I didn’t hate that,” she grinned, knowing damn good and well she wasn’t capable of actually disliking someone. Besides, other than his desire to work, he hadn’t been half bad and he’d paid for her drinks. “You’ve got two steady partners now? Looks like I’ve missed a lot.” Not that they were friends, but maybe they could be? “What? No,” she paused, mind immediately shifting to Ela. “I have someone and it’s really good. Like, really good.” Turns out, she wasn’t the hooking up type after all. “Moving on. How’s the work stuff? Did you finish that project you were working on?”

[annabelcastillo]

elahehelabid​

location: elaheh(e)’s house status: closed for @annabelcastillo​

Suggesting that Annabel move in with her seemed like the next logical step in their relationship. They were already spending a majority of their time at her house anyway, it just made sense, right? At least, that’s what Ela told herself in lieu of panicking and running - a habit that seemed to cost her more hurt than it actually saved her from in the end; the photo of Sanem and Allison that slid across her Instagram feed still seared into her mind. There was a chance that Bel had managed to dig herself into the part of her heart that pushing Sanem away had left wide open, and with that part of her heart came feelings, feelings and a comfortable domesticity that never failed to send her packing. The innate reaction was something she wasn’t going to let happen this time. Things with Bel were good; she enjoyed falling into bed with her at night, waking up to her in the morning, spending summer days with Grace at the beach. Somehow they had carved out a little system of living, one that seemed more and more normal as the days wore on, one that made her happy enough that Ela sometimes went days without thinking about the dancer. 

Sure, there were days when she couldn’t stop thinking about her, but progress, right? Progress had taken the form of packing boxes into the back of her Rover only to unpack them in Sunstone beach and repeat the process all over again until they stood in her driveway, the warm sun beating down on them as the last remaining boxes waited to be lugged into the house in front of them, a house that never really resembled a home for Ela until this very moment. The palm of her hand swiped across her forehead, thankful she had thrown her hair into a bun an hour ago. The temptation to hire movers when she glanced at just how many boxes Annabel had was high, but with Grace gone doing some heavy lifting was both rewarding and a nice distraction. “I ordered some pizza from By The Slice, your favorite,” she glanced at the woman standing just a few feet from her, a smile lifting the corners of her lips as she picked up a box from the trunk. “I think we deserve an entire pizza each after today.”

Move in with me. The last time she’d heard those words, she ended up married, only to get divorced two years later. While the words should’ve sent her into a royal panic, they’d done just the opposite. There was something about cutting out the middle man known as her apartment that made settling in by the side of Ela every night that much easier. Truth be told, she was tired of moving from one place to another, only visiting her apartment when she needed something or when the woman was occupied elsewhere. It was like her own personal hangout where wine bottles were always stocked up and the Netflix was always ready for her. It was a good setup for someone who’d known nothing more than work and home, but now there were other factors she leaned heavily on and that required some change.

Change that came in the form of packing, complaining, unpacking, and repeating until the final boxes were packed in the back of the woman’s Rover. “It sure is. Did we go with the usual, or did you switch it up? I’m good with either. Right now, I’d eat anything.” Moving had taken a lot out of her, as she assumed it had with Ela, but no part of her was ready to call the day over. "We really did that, didn’t we? Moved all of my stuff here. I live here now,” she hummed, the words seeming almost unreal. Sunstone Beach 2.0, a move in that would hopefully last this time around. “How does it feel? Be honest. It’s not too late to back out. Promise if you’ve changed your mind, you don’t have to move all those boxes back.”

[annabelcastillo]

@landon-reid

location: hobbit hole.

“If it isn’t my least favorite drinking buddy,” she greeted, circling around a small shelf before settling in front of the male she’d last interrupted while drinking. “Fancy seeing you around these parts without some kind of work in hand.” She didn’t know much about him, other than the fact he worked, drank, and occasionally screwed whenever he had the time. Everything else was but a mere mystery. “Whatcha looking for? If it’s a book on dating advice, save your time. They suck.” She’d came for something a bit more enjoyable, something that would inevitably leave her couch bound with a bottle of deep red as company. “Any suggestions?”

[annabelcastillo]

@alli-pellisier​

“I really don’t know how one glass of wine turned into three,” she explained, her neighbor to her side probably wondering why she was nearly asleep at the bar top. “It was a long day at work and I didn’t want to go back to my apartment. So, now I’m three glasses deep of some red blend. I don’t even know what I’m drinking. I just asked for a surprise and honestly, it’s really good,” she rambled, tipsy words spewing without much thought behind them. “I’m sorry if I’m talking too much. You’re the first person who’s sat beside of me and hasn’t immediately offered to buy me a drink. Which is refreshing, by the way.”

[annabelcastillo]

location: by the slice.

"I just want to start with a formal apology,” she trailed off, smile wide as she neared the woman she considered her best friend. “I’ve been out of town and when I got back, I picked up a few extra shifts to make up for the time I had off.” Their night out at the bar would happen eventually, wouldn’t it? “Sorry for the last minute request. I’m starving and I wanted to catchup with you. It’s been too long, which brings me back around to that apology.” Bel pulled out a gift bag from behind her back, a small token of appreciation to the one person who’d carried her baggage more than she did at times. “It’s nothing but, but I couldn’t not get you anything.” Inside was a sweatshirt she’d gotten during her trip to Canada, the maple leaf bright red on it’s front, a mug that had the trademarks of the country on it, a few candies that could only be purchased across the border, and a sweet card that she’d made Ela sign too. “Don’t feel like you owe me anything, because you don’t. Consider it a ‘thank you’ for always being there for me.”

[annabelcastillo]

location: north star dinner.

Work. Ela. Home. Repeat. Sometimes out of order, sometimes not. They were settling nicely into whatever was brewing between them and for once since her divorce, Bel felt comfortable with that. Everything in life had gained a bit of color back from the shades of grey she’d been forced into after the loss of her marriage. Even after a year into the separation, she still blamed herself for the failure. “If it isn’t my favorite midnight nightmare,” she greeted, sliding atop the slightly worn stool to the male’s side. “Haven’t seen you around in awhile. Guess that means you’re staying out of trouble, yeah?” While seeing someone in a work setting wasn’t always ideal, she’d come to enjoy her late nights with Mateo when he’d found himself under her care. “How’ve you been?”