Guilt. It was a strange emotion for that moment, but Rowan could still feel its spark in the back of his mind, and underneath his heart, pulling it downward. Being so overcome with gratitude right after Noah’s passing just seemed… wrong, and Rowan couldn’t help the guilt pressing at his gut for his wanting to thank Annabelle, and Nixon, and Gwen, and Naomi and the other few that had offered him their utmost support and that had understood him and given him his time to mourn. The people who had shown up at his door, worried, who had texted, called, hell, even emailed him to know they’d be there in case he needed them. It felt so oddly wrong that he had people to count on, people who cared and who loved him, whereas Noah, well… And now, there was a part of him that felt even guiltier because Annabelle being there, caring for him in just the right way, made him feel almost… happy. "But I didn’t.” And that’s the thing when you put everyone before yourself; you want to be there cherishing and helping everyone, but you never want to be a bother to those people by reminding them that sometimes you need cherishing and a little help too. “And still you came.” Knowing exactly what to do and say, which was why he felt so grateful. And he wanted to thank her, again and again, for making herself available and for being honest, telling him, or rather, reminding him, that healing would be a long and difficult process. He needed that. Because, as much as he appreciated the support in these hard times, there were few things in this world that he hated more than being pitied. "Maybe we should go out.“ He then said without thinking, the words just slipped out of his lips before he could hold them back and, perhaps, that had been for the best. That house, his house was too full of memories of the two of them, and the past few days were entirely filled with what seemed like a never-ending re-run of dear memories, so maybe a bit of time away from all that would be helpful. “Just– I just don’t want to be locked up in here anymore.”
"You were there every day even when I pushed you away after Oliver died, Ro. Even if you didn't outright come up to me, I felt you there at every shift at Sanctuary," she said softly. She'd be the worst friend if she didn't show him the same courtesy. Her eyebrows shot up at the sudden comment about going out before her features softened again at his explanation. "Then we'll go out. Hell if you want to get out of the city or the state we could even do that. Whatever you want or need to do Ro, I'm there with you," she said softly and comfortingly. She remembered when they'd skip town just to spend time with each other in public due to the secrecy of their relationship in the past. He'd come on weekends or on her days off just to whisk her away into the night, take her on an elaborate date, spend the night at a nice hotel. Though she knew that wouldn't be anywhere close to the nature of this outing tonight, it still brought up a fond memory of hers. This night was about him and helping him heal, maybe even just a little bit.
