welcome :)

(mobile header is an edited picrew by boxsnot) (there are two of us, they/them and he/him) (over 18)

[anniesfarce]

hello... made a new blog for cornley content because we've just been sharing it with each other (there are two of us sharing this blog, therefore all our work is officially peer-reviewed) and we thought it would be nice to share it with other people. so if you're seeing this and that interests you, maybe follow! :)

[the-irrelevant-trumpeter]

i tried not to, but i couldn't resist making this. anyway have this very dumb video i just put together.

[my-random-shit-blog]

Made a video edit to the song Cheerleader by Ashnikko for two of my favorite egotistical drama queens✌️

(CW for flashing lights, drug references & explicit language)

[menecrates]

girl help i've got that fucking pogo stick song stuck in my head again

[spillsbury]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

in which (sometimes) intoxicated trevor makes poor decisions around alcohol and his cast members (aka trevor character study but he’s just a slut) (aka trevor canonically calls everyone babe so he’s definitely kissed most of them) (aka 8 times trevor kissed members of the cpds and it didn’t mean much and the 1 time it meant everything)

[americasfavoriteshethey]

Cornley and where I think they would work in a restaurant, made by someone who has worked all over restaurants

Trevor: works in the kitchen as either a cook or an expo. Everyone jokes that he would kill someone as a waiter, but tbh it’s kind of true. Definitely the expo who knows all of the gossip and will tell you all of it if he likes you. Always getting in trouble with Annie because they’re constantly talking shit during shifts. If he likes you he’s gonna make sure you’re all set, if he dislikes you, you’re gonna know it

Chris: I don’t know if Chris is capable of restaurant work. He’d make it an hour into a Sunday morning shift and crumble. Screams in the walk in cooler at least once a shift. Always whispering ‘why am I still here’ to himself. Probably a waiter who always looks three seconds away from fighting

Annie: all around worker. Waitresses, cooks, expo, bus girl, hosts. She’s always running around to fill in the loose ends. Honestly, should be getting paid way more. The place would fall apart without her.

Dennis: host. Has been trained by Annie and has to be retrained again at some point. All of the servers except for Max always yell at him for messing up the rotation even when it’s not his fault. Is always calling over the manager the minute a customer gets mad. Has cried on shift before.

Max: cool, waiter, busboy, and host. He’s not forceful enough to expo. As a waiter he’s beloved, people are always requesting his section and he has regulars that love him. As a host he’s constantly talking to people. He’s the slowest busboy because he gets distracted.

Sandra: waitress. She always looks put together, hair and makeup done for every shift, but she’s constantly crying on the inside. She has hooked up with a cook before, will not say which one. She’s only here until she gets a good enough acting job to leave. Is always the one who says mean shit on crazy shifts and then apologizes later. The old ladies love her.

Robert: also expo’s. The new waiters are scared of him, and for probably good reason. Has almost gotten into a fistfight before.

Vanessa: Hostess extraordinaire. The host stand is always organized after her shifts, her rotation keeping is impeccable. They tried to get her to retrain Dennis but she ended up with a migraine. Has definitely cried on shift before.

Johnathan: waiter. He’s confident and good at what he does, but don’t get near him when he’s busy. He will yell back at the expo person. He can never open the cooler door to help people get things and keeps getting hit by the kitchen doors

[onesourceofbadinformation-deact]

cornley polytechnic drama society dot jpeg

[anniesfarce]

[id: screencap from original theatre's the time machine; dave takes off a flannel shirt to reveal the back of his black t-shirt says "i'm not on drugs" in all-caps white text, amy looks on. end id]

my i'm not on drugs shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt

[where-is-tom-scott-today]

I’m here to see a performance by the Cornley Polytechnic Drama Society

[enter-drfrog]

I have extensive notes from Peter Pan Goes Wrong yesterday night, but here’s one of my favorites.

Jonathan Sayer said Dennis thinks he needs to wait in line with everyone else to get into the show. So every night he goes and waits in line to get into the theater. He said that production has told him that he doesn’t need to do it but he does it every night anyways. He also said that sometimes it genuinely takes him a long time to get into the theater

[onesourceofbadinformation-deact]

chris bean/robert grove & no children by the mountain goats

[spillsbury]

my favorite hits in ppgw

the scissors — if you didn’t know, chris uses a pair of scissors to cut his tie. the scissors are then put into the dresser, until nana is unable to get a spoon (due to being stuck) so max grabs the scissors as a replacement. when he grabs them, he holds the bottom half of them — the sharp half. chris does the same when using them to feed the medicine to the actors, hiding the fact that these scissors have some sort of sticky end or pin that will hold them in his pants. when he feeds max, the struggle there (controlled by max) allows chris to adjust the grip to then stick the scissors right into his thigh— making it look like he stabbed himself.

doggy door — rather simple actually — robert throws up a hand against the chest to make the sound of his head hitting it (the knap) and reacts as if he hit it. the door itself is very thin so that it doesn’t hurt when it hits him. using trevor, gill, and francis as cover with their chainsaws and such, one of them removes the door to reveal the hole that looks as though it’s been sawed — the door is easily removable otherwise.

liza/mary dress — the liza dress is thrown on over mary’s, but more funny, the bit where the door opens on annie half changed is an extra costume change — the mary dress never needs to come off to put on the liza dress, so that bit is fully an addition to her changes to reveal the bra. ridiculous.

robert on fire — they use robert’s fall from the window as the shadow to put a fire-safe sleeve over one arm, which allows him to catch it on fire a moment later. a clever use of one gag to prep the next!

tree crush — the trees are both operated by hydraulics — they don’t actually fall but are lowered like a lever. the tree also doesn’t fully hit the ground — the body of it remains several inches above the floor. plus, lucy is off line for the hit, meaning she’s not even in the actual line of fire but rather upstage. she wiggles her foot underneath the tree after the initial hit.

missing hook — more noticeable onstage, but chris drops his hook during the increased fog at the end of the first forest scene, and trevor grabs it on his way out. sometimes it’s seamless and you don’t notice he’s lost it until the reveal, sometimes the hook rolls center stage.

boat hits — all simple but effective — the boat to the crotch hit dennis and annie take is to the inner thigh, plus dennis usually keeps one hand at the thigh to catch it early. the hit is given a slapstick sound from offstage to make the knap. both hits of the boat to the head are intercepted by a hand, and since the actors are upstage the audience doesn’t usually catch the hand coming up.

peter’s fall — it’s a dummy. you knew that.

world of make believe hits — again, a hand intercepts the bowl when max swings it, usually a solid foot from the face.

trevor’s hit — my personal favorite. the edge of the table is thinner than the rest (just in case) but again, trevor intercepts with his hand pretty much a foot from his face. if you watch he’s very focused on this hit because immediately after he has to dive forward for his upside down hang. also, after he’s pushed off while unconscious, he’s taken down just out of view in order to allow the next set change.

THE PIRATE SHIP — a lot here, but that boat is fully being balanced on a fulcrum the full time so carefully. kudos to everyone on that. seriously the fact that they have to keep the boat so it doesn't tip until the reveal that it CAN tip is wild.

lucy’s boat hit — when lucy’s rolls forward, she catches the rail with one hand and puts her head on her own hand, rather than actually smacking it. she’s also as in control as possible during the whole sequence — she pulls herself up and down with the rope there.

door hits — a few classics during the end sequence! we get the door open, the slapstick cue and then sandra (behind the door, fully safe and off line) falling into trevor

peter pan slap — some beautiful stage combat from sandra, who is slapping fully off line and the slapstick gives us that lovely slap for jonathan. just a classic.

captain hook’s launch — at one point chris is launched across the boat when it tips the other direction. and while the boat does tip, it’s the actor who does the jump to make it look more dramatic. he’s not actually launched.

francis’ final hit — another favorite: francis is fully offline of the chair. he’s crawling upstage of where the will be pushed in and often makes it further than where the chair stops, but takes the hit fully visually — he does have to intercept cause he’s not even on the same plane as the chair.

[spillsbury]

ok understudy CENTRAL at ppgw was a joy. stephen!chris, bianca!annie, fred!max, ryan!francis, and brennan!lucy today. some fun things:

- preshow is BACK! without gill there wasn’t a hammer bit but that did mean there was far more chaos of the three boys (jonathan, chris, and trevor) doing lil bits

- bianca is a STELLAR annie. that girl can SING! we were cheering for her lullaby and her accent as mary and as liza is ridiculous — liza is a little like her gill accent (vaguely jamaican?)

- stephen is still a joy as chris — somehow gayer and more anxious but a joy. his bottle bit went OOOON tonight (i may have instigated it) and he was having a very fun time with the other understudies. he’s somehow less pathetic but more of a little mess

- as a harry kershaw stan, ryan is SO FUN AS THE NARRATOR! he played with a lot more bravado, and when he appeared naked he looked at us and went “you’re welcome” cause that man knew he was sexy. he also couldn’t find the pistol when searching for the compass and stephen made fun of him.

- god brennan is adorable. a lot more noises rather than shrill screams from her but soooo fun as lucy. she was fully reading the last sequence from the book cause first she had to find it (went through a lot of pages) and then messed up and said “the crocodile” twice when trying to read it. but she killed it!

- no gill, so i was curious how they’d cover — brennan wore her gill costume for the first part to do the dog door and some early moments and to hold the sea and do some other moments, and occasionally they used francis to stand in (holding the sea, holding trevor’s cue cards). francis stepped into the world of make believe dance as well but in his narrator costume. you wouldn’t even notice if you weren’t looking.

- no gill did mean trevor had to put everyone on harnesses for “flying alone”, which made me laugh, and meant he had a lot more to yell during the turn table — he was YELLIN OFFSTAGE AND IT WAS FANTASTIC.

- also the turntable was definitely slower tonight — probably because fred just stepped in and there’s so many folks on new tracks, but chris leask didn’t even notice until i mentioned it

[the-irrelevant-trumpeter]

guys what are your birth order headcanons for the cornley crew

[justanothermerthurshipper]

This got way longer than I intended it to but

Chris: Only child (and if my vague maths from the Christmas radio show are right, his parents were about forty when they had him?, which I feel is important to the vibes).

Robert: Middle child. One much older brother who is Lucy's dad (I think for Lucy to be about 15 in PPGW, he has to be at least ten years older?) and the one sister who dated Chris. I hc his brother as being, like, a vet or something else 'successful' and his sister as a manager somewhere, with Robert vying for attention in the middle. He should have been the doted on miracle after his parents had only had his brother for so long, but his mum fell pregnant with his sister when he was a few months old and he soon got usurped. He's quite close to his sister but would never admit it, and the rest of his family relationships are quite tense.

Dennis: Only child. I also headcanon him as having older parents, so all his first cousins were adults by the time he was born and he didn't have a lot of kids around him growing up.

Trevor: Canonically has Dale, who I hc as being 5+ years younger, and who Trevor had to babysit a lot. Which means that now he is Weirdly Good with babies and younger kids. I used to hc them as having different mums before I found all the Trevor's Mum Lore on Twitter; now I feel like they're either full brothers or have different dads. I also have a hc that he has an older half sister via his dad's who he never lived with but who he's still fairly close to. I think there's a tweet that says he doesn't get on with his brother in law, though.

Max: Youngest child with two brothers. The youngest of all his cousins, too, and his grandma's favourite.

Sandra: Youngest of two girls (three or four year gap) with an X-Factor mum. They had a really competitive relationship growing up, and her older sister has since been successful in the media as a producer or something, but apart from an over-dramatic falling out every year or so they're very close.

Vanessa: Oldest of two girls (two year gap). Her sister is very different to her but they get on pretty well.

Annie: Second oldest with three or four brothers, and quite a few cousins. Was a weird combination of a tomboyish 'one of the lads' and surrogate mum growing up.

Jonathan: Oldest with one or two younger brothers, and two step sisters via his dad's second marriage who he's not particularly close to. They were all children of custody settlements, so when he and his brother's were staying at their dad's his step sisters tended to be at their dad's, so (apart from a couple of disasterous camping trips) they didn't see a lot of each other.

Lucy: Only child. Robert and his sister were young enough when she was born to be more like cousins, though, and she saw them fairly often until her parents got divorced and she only stayed with her dad and his family during school holidays.

[the-irrelevant-trumpeter]

guys what are your birth order headcanons for the cornley crew

[anniesfarce]

okay, here are some thoughts... sorry this took a while first we had a disagreement over what birth order means, this ended with co-mod telling me to google "birth order" to see that apparently it means someone's age in relation to their siblings (oldest, youngest, middle, etc). so i was wrong whatever. & sorry in advance for the long post!!

chris: only child. ik some people write him with an older brother and that seems very sherlock holmes, but he just seems so only-child-like to me lol

robert: he's got a Number of siblings for sure, either youngest or middle. like, he seems like he's either spent his life getting hand-me-downs and being coddled/looked down on as the youngest, OR spent his life being passed over as a middle child. (random thought on this, robert also tries to leverage having a big family into roles, he's out there going "chris, i cannot believe you would cast max in the role of dylan when dylan is literally my brother's middle name" over any potential connection.)

sandra: youngest. she has youngest child privileges... we have some other thoughts on this but not for here.

annie: one sibling probably close in age? she seems like she's used to being one of a pair. maybe a sibling who was very successful in school or sports or something, so she's used to being a little overshadowed, though she always says she doesn't mind it...

trevor: only child.

vanessa: co-mod said she has only brothers & i actually really like that idea. probably somewhere in the older section of the siblings?

dennis: either an only child or youngest/younger with a big age gap... in my head his relationship w robert is very brotherly as well ngl

jonathan: reverse of dennis, either an only child or oldest with a decent age gap! (the thing that got me thinking about this was a fic on ao3 that i can't find where the author gave him a much younger sister named lottie and i thought it was super adorable, i think it makes sense with his character, he seems like he's used to being alone but i also think he could easily take on more of a caring role)

max: only sibling. he probably always wanted siblings, though, and if max and sandra are a couple he for sure delights in getting to see her family!

[scentedwonderlandpoetry]

A woman who has the confidence of a girlboss but the competence of a cringe failwoman

[anniesfarce]

i'm always like can't wait to post my gws fic so people can see it! but i have in fact spent more than a year writing ONE one-shot so i mean we'll see. we'll see if that will ever happen.