Just a Green Guy Trying to Hang

[itisisunbeam]

WHY EATING SEASONALLY IS IMPORTANT

•save money - food is at it’s highest supply

•food is better - it is grown closer to home so less likely to rot

•support local, sustainable farmers

•more environmentally friendly

[mxmoonwitch]

[glumshoe]

Found a very sweet, very stinky dog that now won’t leave my side.

[interstitiallacunae]

I think you might be her new family…

[glumshoe]

I wish. She’s well-fed, affectionate, and trained, so somebody is surely missing her.

[glumshoe]

Baby. A horrendously smelly baby. If we can’t find her owners, we’ve got some potential takers among our friends. Last option is a special pitt bull rescue center - or, if my dad continues to melt over her and bring her scraps of turkey, maybe our home.

[sunshine-tattoo]

more updates please

[glumshoe]

We’re currently attempting to lure her inside with trails of turkey breast. We don’t want to put her into a car to take her to the vet until she smells less like Death.

[glumshoe]

Well, she’s inside, and my mom says I can’t call her “Lore” because we already have a dog named after a 90’s TV show character. She wants to name her “Tesla” because she likes Doc Brown’s tradition of naming dogs after scientists, but I don’t want to face future discourse about it.

[glumshoe]

The Dog has had a bath and took it very gracefully. She’s been incredibly shy since she came inside, but now that she’s (mostly) destinkified, she seems a hundred times bolder and more trusting and is curiously exploring the house.

She seems to absolutely adore other dogs, but Scully has been pissy lately, so we’re keeping them apart. She has a limp that I’m worried about, but her facial lacerations appears to be healing well and she allows herself to be lifted calmly.

[glumshoe]

We’re waiting to hear back from the owner listed on her microchip. We found her almost five miles from her home address, which doesn’t rule out the possibility of being dumped. If her owners don’t want her, we’ll find her a good home.

In the meantime…

[jarjarbinky]

Is there an update? How old is this?? Is she ok??

[glumshoe]

She’s currently at the clinic with my mom getting vaccinated. Still no response from her owners. She slept next to my bed last night and snored the entire goddamn time.

[glumshoe]

Day 12: I’ve almost given up hope of hearing back from the owners. As of tomorrow, she’ll have been in our care and long enough for the humane society to consider her abandoned and allow for her legal adoption to a new home. She’s going to spend tomorrow night with a local couple to see how she gets along with their old labrador - if it’s successful, they’ll adopt her once their vacation is over.

In the meantime, I have taught her to provide what I am told counts as “deep pressure therapy”, and she has become a much happier, more confident, and far less stinky dog than she was two weeks ago. Her laceration has healed nicely and her limp has vanished.

[glumshoe]

February 20, 2019: Crime Dog has been with me since December 27, but tomorrow (today, technically—it’s 1 AM) she goes home with the the gay couple who are adopting her. One of them works from home and will be able to keep her company at all times. They’re already in love and have gone out and bought toys for her, and have fortunately agreed to let me dogsit from time to time.

Tonight I am making an exception to my hard and fast “no dogs on the bed” rule. She’ll be sleeping in bed with her new family every night and will be doted on with saccharine devotion, so I dont really have anything to be sad about—she’s getting a storybook “happily ever after”, which is as lucky as any scarred-up stray pitbull can get.

But for one last night, she’s my dog, and I get to hold her and cry into her fur.

[anniesmoker420]

Judging from her breed, injuries, being well trained, and owners living so close but doing nothing makes me think she was a fight dog. There is a chance she saw you with your dog one day and knew you were a good friend. Once she was able to run away she tracked you down.

[gqa1]

Reblog In 5 seconds for good luck

[nullelemental]

​this worked last night lets go for round two

[helloitsbreeisnotonline]

I really need some good luck rn

[babyanimalgifs]

How are penguins not extinct?

[coffeepotsmokin-deactivated2018]

I am in tears omg

[dremoranightmares]

whoever timed the film to the music is fucking brilliant this is gorgeous and oh my god i know they’re made of a lot of fat/blubber but this gave me like seven heart attacks

[i-hate-chick-fil-a]

she protected herself and she has that right. I’m so mad at the way those bystanders handled her and her body. Fuck everyone involved. She is queen and I hope she’s ok.  

Especially when you realize she literally says “I’m pregnant get off me” like … wtf is wrong with people

[jehovahhthickness]

Gurlllll I just shaved my coochie, did everything right in preparation, and I still ended up getting razor bumps 🙃 I’m about to cry, this not a good look sis 😩 I’m about to cancel the dick appointment

It happens.

This is why I don’t shave.

Wolf pussy forever.

[pale-manmi]

^^ she right tho

The trick is not to shave to your bare skin, just trim

[pale-manmi]

Ingrown pussy hair is the fuckin devil. I don’t usually get it unless I didn’t take my time

[anniesmoker420]

Don't cancel tho. He still gon fuck

[feistyfrank]

[cockandpokeballs]

The gay PR guy in that came up with this Nintendo/Ariana crossover deserves a raise

[anniesmoker420]

Pretty sure that's Jimmy Fallon

[whyarethe-robots-so-sad]

[anniesmoker420]

Best way to describe toy story

[sj0]

you have been visited by the seven magic dragon balls your biggest wish will be granted but only if you reblog

[hersheyhipster]

Couldn’t risk it.

[cracked]

“Our ecosystem was clearly designed by the Devil, but at least we don’t have more guns than people.”

America’s Gun Problem Is So Bad Even Australians Are Scared

[whitebeltwriter]

you know shit’s bad when the country where everything can kill you is scared

[xxcookiecrumbsxx]

@roseybum

[the-lady-knight-of-avalon]

Unfortunately this is still relevant.

[princecarlton]

[rum]

Ok but why he say Gaga like that LMAO

[alladoreqi]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[theblackmanonthemoon]

Lmaoo you knew Ye was bout to say some shit the moment he took that lil pause😂

[artsyasfuckk]

put this in the Moma

[tarynel]

Lmfao

[nosferatushy]

You know what breaks my heart? Kids who were always told that they were too smart and used to be overachievers but now they have depression and anxiety and other mental illnesses and can’t recover because the bar was always too high for them and they just sit and suffer silently watching everyone else get on with life while trying to be what they used to and trying not to commit suicide but they can’t talk about it because “You’re smart you’re gonna figure it out yourself ” . Nothing is more disappointing than knowing that no one will help you as you sink deeper and deeper into darkness and believing that all your high hopes and dreams will remain dreams forever. I feel you kids. You are not alone .

[pale-manmi]

I am the kid.

[billy-hixx]

Rush Hour 2 (2001) dir. Brett Ratner

[anniesmoker420]

Classic

[mascvoid]

Truth bomb.

[just-shower-thoughts]

Kids these days will never know the struggle of only being able to store 200 text messages on your phone.

[anniesmoker420]

Throwback

[showerthoughtsofficial]

Bees are soldiers willing to die for their cause. Wasps are just psychopaths

[tinaschild]

me: you guys believe everything you hear lmao its annoying

youtube: Illuminati Clones - Was Avril Lavigne Replaced?

me:

[anniesmoker420]

That Arvil Lavigne shit is wild tho