Can I just say how fucking important all of what Phil said was???
He talked about it all in a lighthearted manner because thatās Phil, but you guys.
He was outed. Phil got outed. It turned out okay for him, but Phil got outed. Phil lived through one of the scariest things possible as a gay person: being forced into a potentially dangerous situation and not knowing who you could trust. Phil was outed in rural Britain when being gay wasnāt as accepted as current times and thatās terrifying. He had that control, that autonomy, taken from him.
Phil talked about how shameful you feel before you come out, even if itās to people you know are accepting. He talked about the way that you feel guilty for being yourself, for not being yourself, for hiding it, for telling people, and for not telling people. Thatās so often ignored in coming out stories and people donāt seem to realize even when youāre coming out to people you know will accept you, you still feel guilty.
He talked about the ways that when youāre young and not positive and you try to force yourself to be straight like everyone else and the realization that youāre just not meant to be like everyone else.
He talked about not letting yourself hang onto people you know wonāt accept you; that those kinds of donāt have a place in your life and stop trying to make them fit.
He talked about the way that having a few friends who accept you literally changes how you view your sexuality and how you express it and the importance of having allies.
The way he talked about the fact that as a queer person, especially a het/cis passing, you never stop coming out. That youāll always be defending your sexuality, that people will always just assume. That itās tiring but it never stops.
Most of all, Phil pointed out how stupid being homophobic is. How could you not want another person to be happy, to live authentically? How could you want another person to live in any way that made them feel like their life was incomplete?
He tackled these topics so lightheartedly and so quickly and so Phil-like it was almost easy to forget that these topics are so fucking intense.
At the end of it, Iām so proud of Phil. Iām so proud of him for what he did for himself, what he did for Dan, and what heās doing for us.
Iām just so proud of him.
