hi

I just post whatever weird shit pops into my brain

[anomalous-entity-s]

sucking cheese from a lich's dusty tits, call that a phylactatery

[anomalous-entity-s]

stuffing a remote control vibrator into a control player and cranking it up every time they say "go to combat" until they become good little aggro players

[anomalous-entity-s]

me: so you doing anything fun this weekend?

my friend: probably just gonna watch some anime, maybe work on that video essay I told you about.

Matt Berry, having sex in the debate club: oh yes, darling, bend over and show me that nice, taut, ology!

[anomalous-entity-s]

local ska fan: yeah, Jer's new album is such a banger, this track is called Capitalism Breeds Devastation, or Cap Breeds for short. isn't it so good?

me, desperately trying to hide the boner I got at the idea of mpreg Chris Evans: wow, you're saying the whole *mfh* album is this good?

[anomalous-entity-s]

horking down a mega dose of estrogen before donating blood, knowing that someday, somewhere, some car crash survivor is gonna wake up with massive honkin titties

[anomalous-entity-s]

invading mesoamerica while fartin semen out my pussy, call that a cumqueeftador

[anomalous-entity-s]

had a dream where I was being attacked by a werewolf and my immediate response was to collar him and he started acting like a playful dog and when he transformed into a human he was a cute little subby puppy who looked like Hush from Iron Blooded Orphans and had no life skills so I had to cook and care for his goofy ass

[anomalous-entity-s]

at the ethical goon sesh (the Domino's® Pizza where our boss lets us spunk on any food we sell to cops)

[hemipenal-system]

yeah yeah sexbot but get weirder about it. sexbot that's a giant biomechanical draft horse that rears up on its hindlegs and uses a set of tentacles to drag you into its open chest cavity before closing you in there and restraining you, suspended inside it with your legs held apart so it can shove a massive silicone horse cock into you and trot around town with you forced into servicing it, your desperate whimpers being turned into regular-seeming horse noises by the shape of its throat

[anomalous-entity-s]

God, I'm just picturing them splitting open like the iron maidens from Elden Ring and pulling you in, their chassis shaking as you struggle to escape but you quickly run out of energy slamming against their hard, metal walls and resigning yourself to your fate, bruised and battered through no fault but your own

[hemipenal-system]

oh, sure, yeah, it starts with one tongue

[hemipenal-system]

she starts by kissing you nice and sweet and humanlike to get you used to her. by the end of the fifth date she’s using as many tongues in your mouth and ears and curling down your chest to toy with your nipples

they’re not human-shaped, either, they’re long squirming slimy things covered in little ridges and bumps. your lips don’t even touch anymore, she just straddles you and lets her tongues loll out of her mouth and quest all over your body, seemingly with minds of their own

she tells you that her mind isn’t centralized like a human’s is, each one of her tongues (she calls them feelers) does take in and process information on its own, though they do all relay to her central brain. you understandably have mixed feelings about this

[anomalous-entity-s]

over time, you learn to tell the tongues apart based on their preferences. the thinner one that likes to wrap itself around your tongue like a constrictor. the pale one that beelines straight for you armpits, drinking in your musk. the triplets that always end up fighting with each other over whatever spot on your chest they've landed on. the thick one that likes to dives as far down your throat as it can reach until you start to choke on its girth.

she tells you their names: long, lilting melodies you couldn't possibly pronounce with your single human tongue, but you memorize them nonetheless. their songs play in your mind every night as they explore your body, a symphony playing out in your mind as they overwhelm your body with pleasure.

you briefly consider learning an instrument so you can share this feeling with the world.

[anomalous-entity-s]

in the wake of Hurricane Sandy, governor Chris Christie was willing to put aside partisan politics and work with Obama on getting New Jersey back on its feet, and while their friendship was short-lived, it was incredibly touching to see at the time.

meanwhile, Ron DeSantis won't even accept a phonecall from the White House. a lot of words have been spent discussing the impact of our hyper-polarized political climate, but one thing I've never seen talked about is its impact on our art.

in 2013, AO3 user Roscavenbar wrote Bipartisanship, an Obama/Christie slash fic set during Obama's visit to Jersey following Hurricane Sandy. sadly, with our political divide growing wider every year, the Biden/DeSantis old man yaoi we deserve feels further away than ever

[joculine]

diversity win! this spider is forcefemming its prey!

(full article)

[roach-works]

babe wake up new kink just dropped

[anomalous-entity-s]

I think this paragraph is being severely undervalued for its kink potential

forcefemming your prey so they can lure in more food is all well and good, but imagine capturing a scrawny little guy and his immediate response is to just start screaming like a girl. not just a high pitched shriek, but a truly feminine cry, begging for a big, strong man to come save him. he's been practicing this for a while, you can tell. so you sit there, patiently, as his desperate cries for help lure in larger prey. does he truly think he'll be able to escape? or has he resigned himself to his fate, knowing the only thing keeping him alive is to continue being your good little lure?

[anomalous-entity-s]

imagine this thing grabbing you. its long, bony fingers wrapping around you as it pulls you in and drags you under its thick, rubbery hide, pinning you against its rough, clammy skin. desperately you try and escape, struggling against the cold press of the thing's hide, grinding against its coarse skin with every movement. you're able to drag yourself about a foot towards where you think freedom lies, but your hands are growing slick with sweat. panic sets in, your movements becoming more and more desperate. just a few more inches and you'll be free, surely, but you can't find any purchase. its too tight.

then it starts to sing.

the mournful dirge of the milfanito that from your trapped position is felt more than it is heard. a deep, melodic rumble that resonates through your body. your muscles start to slacken as the adrenalin in your system starts to fade and you realize just how tired you really are. how long has it been since youve had a proper rest? you feel yourself start to relax into the song, giving into your fatigue as you fade off into slumber.

[anomalous-entity-s]

need a girl that can hold me like this. it would fix me, I think

[jacebeleren]

jin-gitaxias shrimp pregnant

[anomalous-entity-s]

this is canon

[anomalous-entity-s]

everyone who says they'd let Elesh Norn compleat them is a freak and I mean that pejoratively. "oh but she's so mommy" think about the kind of mommy she is tho. when Ashiok invaded her dreams, all it took to make her shit herself in fear was to have a few weeds growing in her backyard.

Elesh Norn is the mom at the PTA meeting yelling about how the library has books about gay people. she's at the pee-wee soccer game yelling at the volunteer ref over a missed call. she's at the park calling Atraxa because the black family is being a little too loud at their cookout. y'all have dogshit taste.

[anomalous-entity-s]

part of a snail's mating ritual involves trying to stab each other with love darts, pointy bits of calcium covered in hormones that reconfigures a snail's insides to maximize the number of eggs the stabber is able to fertilize when they mate, and in some species can also alter the behavior of the stabbed snail to make them less likely to mate with other snails.

basically what I'm saying is forcefem scenario where two rivals duel each other with poisoned blades, growing more and more feminine with every cut until one or both of them are submissive, girly messes begging to be bred.