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[anonomouslyaround]

Note to self

I don't think I would kill myself, in fact it makes me scared just seeing that word on the screen, and the fact that everyone around me tells me that it is a very selfish thing to do. So what should I do? Sacrifice human needs to use towards my productiveness for the world. I don't really feel like making it better because I know it's pretty pointless. Yes, I understand it would hurt some people pretty bad, but why? I'm just a person, I'm sure they're are over a hundred people scattered around that are just like me, and I hear that voice go off in my head at this point saying,"but you are unique!" No I'm really not, I'm replaceable, replaceable by every single person that knows me. And talking to someone about this isn't going to make it better. If this was a real suicide note then I wouldn't blame anyone, so they would feel better about it all, but since this is just to me here are my problems: one, I'm not really nessecary, I'm sure so many people could take my place and purpose for this world. Two, its not like I have a purpose for reproducing it seems, this is because I promised myself I would never have sex for the first time drunk, and it seems that the only time the boy I'm in love with every wants my body is when he's inebriated, so there that one is thrown out the window. As for my family, I know they would be upset but if I stopped texting them for a couple weeks they could learn to work around it. And my friends? They already know how to have fun without me. It's so sick that I think that anyone would be sad to see me go, now that seems selfish to me, I just think my existence wouldn't really mean much if I stayed, and if I ever did decide on that then I would break contact with every single person I know first, then hermit myself for a couple months until everyone forgot about me, then I would do the deed, because then that wouldn't be selfish, then I would kindly give everyone a notice to how it would be if I was gone, and nobody would even know or care by that point.

[anonomouslyaround]

The Team

They told me there is no I in team I am an athlete. I am an individual. I am strong. I am weak. I have desires, hopes, and dreams. I have goals. I have fears. As a team, my opponent will never see my weaknesses, only my strengths, never my fears, only my goals as they unfold before them. I am not afraid that my tean will see my fears, my hopes, dreams or desires. I trust them in an unlimited level. I am not afraid my team will see my faults, because with them I can overcome my faults, with them I am fearless, with them I have hopes and dreams. With my team I am not weak, I do not have the strength of one athlete, but of many, combined, focused, and dangerous to my un-united opponent. I become my team, and my team becomes me. I do not judge, and I am not judged. I have a goal and the team has a goal. The team goal is my goal. All that matters is that the team reaches it's goal. They always told me there is no I in team. They were wrong. I am the team. I become the team. The team became me. The tean becomes an entity unto itself. The team is strong, creative, compassionate, caring, authoritative, disciplined. The team absorbs I, and then there is I in team. The I becomes part of something much more powerful. They were right, there is no I in team, but there is team in me.

[anonomouslyaround]

Volleyball

I'm no better than any others who step into their zones, I don't have any chalk to brush my hands through, or cleats to tape to my feet, but I have a uniform that I put on every time and shoes that stay with me throughout the match. I'm like any other athlete but unlike everyone else I'm different, I Choose to win, I don't expect it. I Choose to play my best, it doesn't just happen. I Can and I Will is what I say. But that's only because I'm a Volleyball Player, and nothing has ever been handed to me.

[anonomouslyaround]

Happy relationship

I'm pretty pumped to have that ideal relationship someday☺

[anonomouslyaround]

Blood type

Can you tell what type of person someone is by what blood type they want their children to have? O-universal donor Ab-universal receiver

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Alone

You know, people who say after the suicide that if the victims would have just talked to them they would have been their friends, they attempted to be nice. But the point would be that nobody was their friend when they needed it, nobody was there when that person was left out of the conversations, the parties, the study groups, the dinners. Nothing that mattered

[anonomouslyaround]

Game day

Things have changed, we no longer are fighting for a chance to practice for one more game, we are fighting for the chance to go to the next step, the regional tournament. We have a target on our backs now, we are not the underdogs we know that. But as the top in a fight we have two choices, 1. To fight with our backs against the wall to defend our tradition, or 2. To fight like we have something take away from them, like they already have the victory and it's our time now.

[anonomouslyaround]

3rd round

We are a team just like everyone else, we have six players. Each player is an individual, each player has a life outside of the court. The one thing though that puts a team on top at the end of the match is desire. And not the desire during the game, the desire that started from August 1st, the desire to finally win the game at beat the server when you have lost the past four, the desire to get on the court every day. That desire fuels the desire we take for granted on the court. It takes wanting it before the game to win. We choose our destiny, we are a team of individuals that work as one unit.

[anonomouslyaround]

Awkward stuff

Awkward things to do while sitting next to a stranger: Clip those nasty toenails. Play with your stuffed cow an use them as a play part. Use them as a pillow

[anonomouslyaround]

Knitting

Everytime I knit something, when I finish it I always find strange red hairs woven in....guess its my signature touch...

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Stop Crying About It

Guess what? People have way worse problems than you right now, stop being a child and trying to get attention, it's ok to be sad or whatever but don't bring anyone else down with you, who cares if nobody is your friend, at least you arn't starving in a poverty filled country. Cry if you want to but try and appreciate these things, other people like you even if the primary people around you never will.

[anonomouslyaround]

New friends

The saddest part is when you realize that you have to change to make friends and you want to stay the same