when they ask what it was like losing you i tell them it was like losing myself. it was losing the smallest bits of myself. it was losing my sobriety because being with you was finding my healing. and maybe i let things get too far because i knew you wouldn’t stay and yet i still let my happiness depend on your presence. it was like leaving paradise to live in despair. it was waking up in agony knowing i had to face the world alone. they say “ home is where the heart is ” so while i answered them, i asked if they knew where you were.. days passed and each of them just felt like a thousand. never ending. i explained that losing you was by far the most gut-wrenching thing i had ever been through and they look at me with confusion because how can someone have this effect on you..?
