Not the first, ain't gonna be the last one

[Accepting Submissions] A blog dedicated to incorrect quotes for Fire Emblem Three Houses. A new one on the block. Spoilers will be tagged as "[route name] spoilers" so I recommend blacklisting that.

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Whoa...Have I really been gone for 2 years?

I’m literally my pfp right now.

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Linhardt: [Sleeping]

Dorothea: Linhardt, wake up! There's an earthquake!

Linhardt: Okay.

Linhardt: [Goes back to sleep]

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I'm only going to try it once.

Byleth after using Divine Pulse 6 times

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Ashe: wHUUH! UNG- PAC MAN!!!

Caspar: [Laughs hysterically] I never heard a man sound more dead. [Imitates Ashe] paC-mAn! [Laughs even more]

*Few seconds later*

Caspar: NOOoOOO! It's not funny when it happens to me, I just realized.

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Dedue: I believe in you-

Ashe: WHITE CHOCOLATE! [Exasperated grunt]

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My hands smell like lime, and that makes me happy.

Linhardt

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Nemesis: And I just keep getting reminded of my failures!

Claude: You mean your failure at killing me, or just in general?

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Shamir: [Throws a knife to display her skills to Rhea]

Manuela: Oh, you can throw a knife. But you know what you can't throw?

Manuela: A PARTY.

Manuela: FOR MY BIRTHDAY.

Manuela: WHICH WAS WEDNESDAY! [Sobs loudly] I REMEMBERED YOURS!

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Edelgard: Say 'hi', Hubert.

Hubert: Hello, victims.

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Byleth: You're drunk.

Yuri: You're sexy.

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Ferdinand: Hubert. What a cartoon. If I had one word for him; it'd be 1.21 Gigawatts.

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Mercedes: [Pushes everyone apart] GUYS, GET OUT OF THE WAY!!! [Points at shadow resembling the Crest of Seiros] IT'S THE GODDESS!!!

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Claude: You've yee'd your last haw.

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Felix: Hello, my name is Felix Hugo Fraldarius. You killed my lawyer.

Cornelia: Father...

Felix: WHOEVER. PREPARE TO DIE!

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Linhardt: Caspar, what have you DONE?

Caspar: I did something bad.

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Byleth, using the Blaze Battalion: I'm gonna, shove this bomb up your urethra, I swear to the goddess.

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Lorenz: I fell into a burning ring of fire.

Lorenz:

Lorenz:

Lorenz, falsetto: I wEnT dOooOWN, dOooOWN, dOooOWN.