He'd had enough. Within his vice like grip he felt them struggle, not willing to let go anytime soon and continued to apply more pressure. His blood seemed to burn as it made its way around his body, too focused on keeping them in that position as he knew he had the upper hand and with that came some sense of satisfaction. As quickly however as those thoughts appeared he brushed them away, he would not be proud of this nor enjoy it no matter what. He'd not become Al, even if there was a period in his life that he had come close to being many times.
He hated to fight, hurting people..he hated all of it. Just wanting to escape and live his life in relative peace, to enjoy living and watch as his country and people grow from strength to strength. He was proud of this, of what had been accomplished so far, he looked down upon Al with pity and some remorse, also there was an underlying fear that they could very well have turned out the same or swapped places. He'd be the cold hearted killer intent on destruction, suffering and pain.
Through this light haze there was a sound, no a voice that broke through it and he blinked back into wakefulness and looked down. The sight which greeted him made bile rise in his throat, for a moment his grip faltered before being applied anew. A muttering of a curse as he started to growl deeply. The previous rage filling back up rapidly and as he felt them falter beneath and eventually go limp he did not stop.
He wasn't going to let them get away with it this time. In one smooth motion he twisted, the satisfying crack that followed meant he had done the deed and only then did he let the body fall lifelessly to the floor. There he stood, flexing fingers into a fist over and over, trying to calm himself. He found that the longer he stared at the other american's face the worse it got till he dropped down and started to smash his fists into it.
"I warned you, you son of a btich to leave him alone. LEAVE HIM ALONE!"
And more hits rained down, he wasn't sure how long he'd done it for only that blood splattered his face, bone collapsed beneath each blow until all that was left was an unrecognisable mess of shattered ivory and red. He fell back panting hard, looking down at blood soaked knuckles with a sound of exasperation .Both hands rubbed up and down his face, shame quickly taking over where anger left behind, he was no better than him and Arthur had seen it.
He'd try to justify his actions, saying that he did it to protect him but he should've left them there after snapping their neck. By setting on their corpse like a rabid dog he'd proved to be no less than Al in the end. Turning to face his lover, features had crumbled to the realization and he started shed tears. Not for them or pity, but how he'd let the monster win.
"I'm sorry..It's all my fault."
His voice broke, turning to crawl towards him and scoop them into his arms, wanting that bit of comfort and reassurance of what he'd just done. It was to protect him, all of it was. Crushing them gently to his chest his shoulders jerked up and down with the effort to stop himself from breaking there and then.
"I'm not a monster..I'm not him."
His voice sounded so small, unable to accept the fact that he was a killer as well. No amount of drugs or alcohol could wipe away his bloodied past, no matter how many times he tried. Of course he hated every moment, each second of it. He was never proud to take a life, though the body behind lay unmoving he knew a few hours or more it would return and the cycle would start all over.
He couldn't do it though, he couldn't kill a nation. Which is why he took Arthur, picked them up against him. His lover far too important to give anymore of his time towards Al and stepped over the body, not daring to look lest he got tempted to finish it. No, hopefully by doing this now he'd made himself the target and the American would come after him.