She sighed. No point in pushing him when he couldn't remember. She let go of him. "Never mind."
Huh? What did he say wrong!? Alternis blinked confusedly at her.
Frowning a little, he asked, “What did I say?”
It wasn't that he'd said anything wrong. It was that he'd said a lot of right things… she was sure that even though she'd been smashed, there was no way she would have just slept with him on a whim. Sure, some of what he'd said had been a little weird (why she stab him…) but the rest of it. Had been kind of sweet.
"You said you really liked me."
Alternis blushed. Suddenly feeling (even more) shy, he looked away, fiddling with the blanket in between his fingers. "Oh. ...Well, didn't you already know that?" He mumbled. His comrades used to make fun of him for it, and he had proposed to her in the middle of their fight. As much as he'd like to think he was subtle about his fondness for Edea, it didn't exactly seem that way.
"Hey now," she said, but giggled. "Don't turn this back around on me!"
She had figured that he liked her, considering that she'd read his journal, which included how he'd been conned into reconnaissance in Caldisla just because she was mentioned, and all the flowery things he said about her. And yes, he had proposed, but she thought that was just him being under pressure.
Edea moved closer to him, close enough that she could lean against him and wrap her arms loosely around his torso. Oh he was warm and surprisingly cuddly.
"But you've never told me that you like me before... you should say it more often." It almost made up for the headache and the events of last night. Almost.
Alternis tensed up at the contact, because well... he was surprised! They hadn't really been this close in a long time... not since they were kids, anyway. Eventually he relaxed, and slowly began to return the embrace as well. He tested his limits even further by resting his head atop hers.
"Well... actually... It's more like... I love you more than anything else..." He mumbled very shyly.
She shouldn't have been surprised when he said it, but... she was. Mostly, she felt surprised that he said it, considering how shy and awkward and shy he was. She smiled though, and bit her lip, willing tears not to spring to her eyes.
"You're too good for me," she told him, not looking up at him. "I don't know how you can love me after all that we did to you."
Alternis pulled away slightly. The initial surprise in his eyes melted away into worry and sadness. "You... you didn't do anything to me. You were doing what you thought was right, same as I. I... I was the one that was stupid. I failed you. I don't deserve any kindness from you."
He had wanted to become stronger to protect her family, to protect her. And instead he'd turned his back on her and hurt her.
"I will always love you. Your strength, your kindness, your sense of justice..." She was everything he wasn't. The least he could do was make sure her light was something that stayed in this world.
"But I was wrong," Edea countered. "I was wrong, and I didn't know anything. You and Father… you knew the truth behind it all." Even though they hadn't actually told her any of it, which still kind of irked her.
"I hurt you already… I almost killed you. Even after you…" After he proposed. In all fairness, it had been terribly timed, but she could have been more gentle with her words instead of calling his feelings rubbish.
"I really don't deserve your love," she said. "But… thank you."
Well, maybe almost getting killed was what he deserved.
Instead of saying anything, Alternis simply hugged her tighter. He didn't know what he could say to make her feel better. He ached to make her happy, and maybe even... No. He shouldn't be selfish.
He kissed the top of her head lightly.
Alternis was allowed to be selfish sometimes! Edea wanted him to be selfish if he meant he was happy. Maybe if he were selfish he would fall in love with someone who would love him back and treat him right.
Until then, was it wrong for her to enjoy this? She leaned against him, smiling a little when he kissed her head.
"And here I thought I'd have to get you drunk to make you say all those things."
Alternis wasn't sure if he'd ever find anyone as wonderful as Edea though. Even if she didn't love him back, it was okay, because he wasn't sure if he could stop loving her. If all they'd ever be is friends, he was fine with that. Whatever she was okay with, he'd accept happily.
At her teasing Alternis whined slightly, hiding his face in her hair.
"I'm never drinking again," he grumbled.
"Uh-huh, sure," Edea laughed, grinning now at his embarrassment. Such a shy person! She liked him, wasn't sure if she loved him, but she liked him. If he was okay with that, she was content with figuring out how she felt later, after they had time to be together.
She leaned back to look at him. "But - how are we going to have sex again if you're not drunk?"
When Edea pulled away, Alternis tucked his chin and glanced off to the side. She was being mean.
Oh Alternis. He was so easy to tease. This is why he'd been her favorite playmate and brother when they were younger. When they were younger, of course. Now that they were grown, he had outstrippd her in nearly every way. He was taller, stronger…. she admired him as much as she envied him.
And now she sat back on her heels so she could cradle his face in both of her hands. "That's too bad… I wanted to try again, maybe?" When they were sober… and could talk about it?
It was weird, really. She hadn't expected to wake up in his bed, but it - she wasn't mad. Just hungover. And maybe the sex would be better next time.
Alternis rested his cheek against her hand, murmuring softly. His hand twitched, but it. It wouldn't be right for him to touch her. She might not like it. Instead he curled it up into a fist, clutching the blanket sheets by his side.
His eyes had started to trail up to meet hers--but at her words, they looked down again.
"...D-did you really? ...You're not making fun of me, are you?" He asked warily, maybe joking a little himself.
Ohh, Alternis. Maybe she should be angrier at him? But it was hard to stay angry at him when he was being quiet and well-behaved, so eager to please. Like a little lost puppy. She was stroking his cheek when he spoke again, and she frowned at him, jerking his face up to meet her eyes. Alternis!
"Why would I say that to make fun of you? Have you ever known me to do that? If I want to have sex with you, we're going to have to sex again - if you want it too, I mean."
Erk--"S-sorry..." With his face in her hand like that, he couldn't look away, though that didn't stop his eyes from trailing off.
Alternis squirmed a little. Did he want to sleep with her again? He just wanted to be with her... Sex was not something he thought of too often. But could he really say he was opposed to it?
Sex was not usually something that Edea thought about very often either, preferring other, more satisfying things. But last night had been interesting, just kind of - bad. She would like a second chance.
Eventually. She was too sore to even seriously think about doing it now, and didn't know if she wanted to try again anytime soon... but she sat back and looked at him.
"Huh?" Alternis looked at her blankly for several moments. What else did he want...?
...He didn't know? It wasn't really a question he got often, or something he thought about either. Did she mean from her? Or in general? Either way, he didn't know how to answer her question.
"I... want you to be happy...?"
"That's not what you want!" she countered. Okay, maybe it was what he wanted, but it wasn't what he wanted.
"I mean - you just slept with me, Alternis. I should be beating you up or getting my father to go after you, but I'm not. Do you know why? Because I want you to be happy too!"
Should she!? ...Alternis was so confused, and maybe a little happy? One moment Edea was saying that they could have sex again in the future, and then she was saying that she should tell the Marshal about their shenanigans. He didn't know.
"I. ...T-thank you?" Alternis continued to look at her with a puzzled expression. He was still trying to figure out what made him happy! What did he want...?
"I want... to be with you? I..." Want to hold you and listen to you talk about your day and be there for you.
She wasn't saying that she wanted to beat him up or tell her father about what happened. She was saying that well, it wouldn't be very weird if she did, because they had been drunk. They barely remembered it. It had been terrible.
But it was Alternis, all the same. And she cared about him. She worried about him… she was really going to have to be careful about drinking with him in the future, because if they were going to do anything, they were going to do it properly!
And she wanted him to be happy, he deserved that much.
She paused. "I… want you to be happy, too." Relationships were weird. They were just weird. They took commitment! They took time. But if what had happened last night had really gotten her pregnant, then she'd have to commit. And even if it didn't, could she go back to pretending there was nothing between them? He'd finally said to her face that he loved her, and well.
"...Okay." Alternis said quietly, before easing back into the bed. He felt like he should say something else, but what?
For several moments he sat there silently... and then edged over carefully, placing his arm around Edea's shoulder and pulling her closer.
"Okay," she repeated, once he had come over. She lifted a hand to touch his arm. "Do you want to try? Being with me, I mean." They had already skipped a few steps like first date and all that but they could try.
...Well, Alternis certainly hadn't expected that. And honestly, he wasn't sure what that would entail! It would just be too sudden--he hadn't even asked her out or done anything for her. What was he supposed to do!? Was he supposed to wait by her door every morning? Or at night? She probably wouldn't even like that! ...Right?
"O-of course, but I haven't... done anything... I. I need to take you out somewhere first."
"Alternis, really." Whatever ideas he had in his mind about courtship and proper romance, or even something as absurd as asking her father for permission needed to stop. "You want to be with me, and I want to be with you. That's all we have to do."
She pauses for a moment before continuing. "Besides, you slept with me last night without buying me dinner. I think that says something."
The intricate plans in his head had included whisking her away to Caldisla or maybe Ancheim and having dinner with her some place nice where they could overlook the sea, and it was going to be so romantic. ...Except this happened. (And maybe his original idea had been too much anyway?)
"I--I was drunk! Let me buy you dinner now--" Wait. "You want to be with me?"
"Oooh, dinner would be great," Edea replied, ignoring his other question. Hadn't she made that obvious? Hadn't she just said that?
Except he looked so confused and upset and like a sad confused puppy. "Yes, Alternis. I want to be with you."
She decided to drink with him to have fun last night, but as things escalated, she had apparently decided to have more than just some fun with him. Even though she had been drunk, Edea had faith in her morals - she wouldn't sleep with someone just because they were there.
Alternis just hadn't heard her say those words exactly! Maybe the implication was there, but he didn't want to get ahead of himself and look like a fool. He was already really good at that.
Like for instance now. After she had said those words exactly, his brain had stalled out for several moments, but when his emotions finally made it from his heart to his head, he acted impulsively.
Wrapping a hand around her waist, he leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers.
Oof! She hadn't quiiite expected that, but only let out the tiniest of squeaks as Alternis kissed her of his own volition, without even any prompting. Really, she should be proud. He needed to be his own person, follow his own likes and wants, more often.
Before her squeak could scare him off, however, she grasped tightly onto his shoulder and kissed him back, smiling. She could try this, at least. Try to make him happy... he deserved it.
Alternis wanted Edea to do it because she wanted to...!
But when she returned his kiss, he felt a swell of joy in his chest and smiled into her lips. Was this actually happening? And he was completely sober for it!? He had to do his best to make this kiss as not-sloppy as possible, he didn't want to ruin his second chance after all.
She wanted to. She wanted to do this and wanted to make him happy…! More than anything she wanted Alternis to be happy just as much as he wanted her happiness. He'd been through so much and all because of her.
Her heart was pounding against her chest as she carefully kissed him back. She probably had more experience with kissing than he did, but that didn't mean she was any good. She'd have to learn with him, and she leaned slightly into the kiss so she could do so.
Alternis gently sucked her bottom lip, as his hands played with the ends of her hair, his fingertips twirling around the strands. He wasn't really sure what to do, all his knowledge of this sort of thing came from camp and occasionally racy romance novels. In this sort of situation, the man would either rip off his own top, or his lover's but he was pretty sure he did not want to do that.
He tried to press deeper into the kiss, but slowly at first. He didn't want to make her uncomfortable.
Oooh, he was being bold. Edea giggled against his mouth and pressed closer against him. And then, worried that perhaps her giggling had scared him off, she parted her lips slightly for him, trying to invite him in.
Alternis thought her laugh was adorable, and it only further solidified the fact that he loved her.
He leaned in closer, pressing his tongue against the front of her teeth first before going further.
Oh… Edea groaned a little at the feeling of his tongue, even though she had been expecting it, and her fingers squeezed him a little. His breath smelled terrible, but that was to be expected since they hadn't had a chance to really clean up.
Her thoughts were beginning to wander, but she focused on him, curling her tongue around his and moving so that she could sit on his lap, as close as possible.
Alternis felt his chest tighten and his stomach turn in pleasure at the sound of her noises, and he pulled her in closer, helping her rest against him more comfortably.
He felt a little gross and not exactly the most attractive at the moment, but he was afraid to stop right now. What if this was a one time thing? What if it never happened again?
Even if they were gross, Edea didn't know if she wanted to stop because she had no idea what else they would do. Talk about their feelings? Get out of bed? Neither sounded appealing! So maybe if she could stay in his arms a little longer until she was good and ready to get out… she moved with him, until she could sit on his lap and straddle him, arms wrapping around his shoulders.
He was so, so warm. It felt good.
Alternis was the worst at talking about his feelings, so he automatically Did Not Want that. What they were doing now was completely fine, even if he didn't exactly know what he was doing.
He did his best to help keep her steady and hold her still as he continued to kiss her.
But Alternis! Edea wanted more. She wriggled a little and pulled back, both for some air and also to look at him, brushing some of his hair away from his face.
Well, something was hard but maybe not whatever she was referring to...
"N-no...? ...A little. It was kind of hard," Alternis mumbled pathetically. Not when they were in the middle of it, but to get it started!
This was so weird! Alternis was so warm and cuddly and - a decent kisser, actually. Better than last night, for sure. She wondered, a little bit, if other parts of last night would be better now that he was sober.
"Alternis," she said, and cradled his face. "You deserve to be happy! I want to make you happy, just as you want my happiness too."
He was a good boy. He'd earned this love and affection.
Edea's words caused a bubbling of warmth in his chest, and he whimpered softly, leaning forward to nuzzle the top of her head.
"You do make me happy," Alternis murmured, squeezing her tighter.
She giggled and leaned into him again, tucking her head under his chin. "I'm glad… you make me happy too."
Even if she was never ever drinking with him again! She kissed his chin.
Ah... was today even real...!? Alternis never thought he'd hear those words, and yet...
"Whatever you want. We could go back to sleep. Or I could buy you breakfast..." Or was it later than that? ...He couldn't really tell, to be honest.
Sometimes he annoyed her, like last night when he had been reluctant to drink with her, but he made her happy, especially once they had started to use words to communicate. She was thankful that he was alive, thankful that he was here with her… she knew she had to cherish him.
Edea wriggled against him at the idea of breakfast. The toast hadn't been enough. "You should buy me breakfast and lunch and dinner," she suggested, grinning.
Well, could Edea really blame him about being reluctant with drinking? Look what had happened. ...Not that that was a constant, but he knew he did dumb things when he was drunk.
"I'd be more than happy to," Alternis smiled leaning in to peck her on the cheek. Was it okay if he did that? He wanted to do that. He wanted to do that for the rest of his life.
Edea would be happy to let him do that for the rest of his life, if he was volunteering. She smiled when he kissed her cheek and leaned forward to kiss his in return. Now that she'd slept, her head was nearly done pounding, and she didn't feel as sick, and the soreness was about the same as a training session… it wasn't bad.
"Thanks, Alternis. Thanks for everything."
Alternis blushed at the returned act of affection. He wasn't sure if he'd ever get used to that...
"W-why're you thanking me...? You're strange," he murmured, placing another kiss atop her head.
"Because I'm happy, silly!" She laughed, and returned the kiss again. "Let's just never do this again? Or at least wait a while before the next time?" Even though she kind of liked this, kissing him and being cute with him, the headache and hangover she could without.
"I'm okay with that. I can't really stand the idea of another drink right now..." Unless it was coffee. That was something Alternis would actually really like at the moment. He paused for a moment, kissed Edea's lips lightly, before pulling away.
...Maybe he could hold her hand while they walked there.
She had never really considered herself as someone who was interested in things like boys and romance. She preferred sharp steel and training until she bled. But being with Alternis, even though it had only been… 30 minutes? Felt right. She felt happy.
Edea smiled at him, then decided to just get off the bed and face the day. And possibly her parents, if they asked her about why she was about to be seen leaving Alternis Dim's room. She should get dressed, try to get ready for the day. while a part of her wasn't looking forward to it, the other part knew that she would be fine. She had Alternis, after all.
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