senseless rambling

Poetry, a common love of many seen as senseless by quite a few yet often a window to the soul, it can be quite whatever you want it to be.

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we are all made of stardust and you were not made from the same kind as mine

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Your name tastes so bittersweet Like that dessert that you loved Until you’d had too much 

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Do you ever feel like you are drowning slowly in the words you never said as they build up inside you wishing to be set free

Do you ever feel like you are falling too quickly into words that you are saying as they jump off your tongue escaping into the ears of others

Do you ever feel  like you are losing touch in a world of words you want to take back as they settle into new realities creating different versions of you

Do you ever feel  like you are just stuck in a world full of expectations as you sift through all these feelings wanting to just let it all go

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remember her

I found those pages of words I wrote before My feelings poured into cryptic messages A time when I was a version I am not now I care now for her fondly  How much of myself have I lost to the hustle of the world what have slowly buried to become who I am now

I want those passions back writing, reading, longing how has it taken me a year to realize what was gone

Can I reach into the past and pull forward part of myself while leaving the rest behind that I worked so hard to overcome

I didn’t know I had given up so much until I saw what I was missing it’s like going through old photographs and seeing a smile you barely remember

Who knew you could push yourself so hard to become someone new You become someone else entirely that one day you don’t even recognize

I found those pages of words I wrote before And found a part of myself I had lost I welcome her into the now I care for her now fondly.

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abstract

I break myself apart To make a mosaic Hoping you will love the pieces Arranged into the perfect image Better than you did the original But so many pieces got lost And there weren’t enough good ones Now I can never resemble before I cant assemble myself anymore So now I’m just broken pieces Clinging desperately to a canvas Wishing someone would call me art

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silence

The silence around you Is deafening  Compared to the silence Of being alone

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stardust

You’ve heard the clichés I’m sure Two ships passing in the night They have such an allure Though they aren’t quite right  You’ve heard the old saying  Oh it was love at first sight While it has quite a ring It still isn’t quite right However we should meet In each lifetime, wherever we fall Any relationship so soft and sweet It’s always beyond fate’s call Beyond liner or logical time Our firendship was always a must Beyond any reason or rhyme We are made of the same stardust

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conflict

You are both music to my ears and a knife to my chest Your presence a light but also the darkness around it I ache to be a part of your life but ache as well for being in it How can someone mean so much both good and bad Everything about this is so bittersweet Like an elixir that brings euphoria then death The slowest poison hidden in your favorite treat The more I take in the faster it kills me But even in knowing I cannot let go Am I a martyr trading myself for my own happiness Or a glutton with no ties to this life

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a clearing in the woods

To find one you will have to search Through the thickest thickets Past the fallen trees and broken paths But the journey is worth it You are so open and full of life You provide solace to the wandering soul You are the gathering place for those who seek peace You are a meadow in the most beautiful way I hope that never changes

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things we tell our daughters

Sit still, be quiet, don’t fiddle with your hands

Lower your voice, try to listen pay attention

Don’t show aggression, be polite, mind your p’s and q’s

Be complacent, mind your placement, society shapes you

These are your nice clothes, don’t get them dirty, go sit down

Here’s a kitchen set, a baby, you’ll be a good homemaker someday

Listen to your husband, make him happy, make him feel better than you

You are just a trophy, a prize that has to  work hard to be won, not the other way  around

You have to be pleasant, or you’ll never be happy, you’ll be alone

Be still, lower your voice, don’t show  aggression.

          - maybe things would be different if I didn’t listen

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Imprisoned

I choke on those words that I never spoke to a soul

Of the acts of war you declared against my skin

The [redacted] deeds I will take to my grave

Your freedom is at the price of my reputation

It’s silence you should pray to your god for

I could ruin you on the outside like you did to me inside

if someday I decide what you cost me is worth the fallout

It will be your turn to pay

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🌻 S

sunflower, so bold and bright hold your head up towards the light follow your heart as you look from sunrise to sunset then rest your eyes bask in the moonlight take in the crisp cool air and breathe, you deserve it you deserve to feel the joy of holding your head up high of seeing yourself the way we all do of feeling the sun kiss your skin shamelessly of having the world look at you like the beauty you are of being your true self of feeling the caress of the night breeze oh sunflower who could have guessed I might have never known and though I never truly will knowing you has brought a splash of color into my dulled life yellow like joy, bright like your smile, unique like you. sunflower, the one I wont try to pick because I wouldn’t want to see you wilt I will water you and care for you and do my best to help you grow I can’t wait to see you flourish it’s all I could ever ask for even if I silently wished for more

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untitled

If I were standing On thin ice With a rock in my hand Nothing could stop me From finally unraveling my fist Letting go of all my troubles Watching as the ice shatters Smiling as it all goes black

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somber

i sing my song of sleepless nights my soul serenades so somber my aching heart doth no right i know i can be stronger

i hold my title firm and and steady keeper of all these thoughts breathing so shallow, what a pitty all this pain which i have brought

i accept my burden complete in full i know what i have done braver ones will take my place where all i did was run

- via (anothersetofwords)

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unbalanced.

Breathing shallowly as I yearn to sleep there is no rest for the troubled as I lay here oh so tired and terribly weak all those thoughts rush to take hold Fighting, sneaking, creeping, bold every man on his own save yourself lest you be forced to take hold

Take cover and be quick the storm has come to pass the violence of it is making me sick my strength so be shattered like glass broken to shards all sharp and unwelcome hovering close to the string that tethers my life watching as it slowly comes undone

Breathing shallowly as I yearn to sleep sleep my life away here I lay so tired and weak for rest I strongly do pray.

- via (anothersetofwords)

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undone.

under it all where my blood flows cold everything a tangled mess of nerves I see who I am, how mangled ive become fighting to keep this perception up while honestly I am slowly coming undone.

unraveled and falling apart this unmanageable mess am I ive taped and tied myself past all repair yet here I am holding up still oh, yet another year. - via (anothersetofwords)

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nothing.

not sadness or joy neither love nor pain I feel not numb yet not unreal. I feel not loved yet not disgruntled. it's as if I am not here.

- via (anothersetofwords)